as_sporkive | Brisingr Spork Part The Last, At Last: Sunrise (Reply)

torylltales posting in antishurtugal_reborn, 2018-10-23 07:17

Brisingr Spork Part The Last, At Last: Sunrise

FINAL CHAPTER: Sunrise

At long last, we are finally done with this overblown waste of cellulose and ink.

The final chapter opens with Eragon needing permission from Arya – because of yet another vow – to share the news of Glaedr and Oromis’s deaths with some random “female elf”who “heard Saphira’s lament”.

Arya keeps the crowd of elves from hounding Eragon with questions, saying “Restrain yourselves. Now is not the time or place to satisfy your curiosity. There are still soldiers about, and we do not know who might be listening. Keep your sorrow hidden within your hearts until we are safe and secure”. Remember that bit, it’ll come up again soon.

Then Eragon apologises to Blodhgarm for being “foolish and overconfident”, and leaving his Elven guards behind.

If Eragon’s going to start apologising to people for being foolish and overconfident, there’s a LONG line of people for him to get to. Starting with Elva.

After Lorana is “given over to [Jormundur’s] custody”, Jormundur bows to her, promises to treat her “with the respect and dignity due your station”, and states “we may be your enemies, but we are still civilised men”.

Ha, ha. Hahaha.

[Caption: Gif of several people laughing with text 'hilarious'.]

And of course, Eragon and Arya are so special that Lorana’s parting lines have to wax lyrical about their “bravery and prowess” in defeating the anticlimactic Shade.

If this were better written and Lorana had more presence in the series than just the last two chapters, I could believe an internal conflict between her oaths to Galy, and her personal revulsion of Shades and such. She could feasibly be grateful to them for Varaug’s death, while also resentful of them burning and sacking her city.

Unfortunately, because she only has a few short lines in the whole series, none of that has a chance to be explored.

Eragon and Saphira reunite with Nasuada, who is “inspecting the damage to the city”.

And here’s where Paolini demonstrates that rather than being sincere but untalented, Paolini simply can’t be bothered writing well.

Eragon reveals the existence of Oromis and Glaedr:

“I knew it,” breathed Nasuada, her eyes shining.

This is… not terrible. It’s showing without telling, it’s using physiological cues to hint at the character’s emotions without being blatant or upfront. It’s short and succinct and adequately conveys that Nasuada is excited by the possibility of another Rider on their side.

Aaand then this happens.

The excitement drained from Nasuada’s face, replaced by a dull, empty expression. She sank into the nearest chair and stared at the cinders in the cold fireplace. The kitchen was silent. At last she stirred and said, “Are you sure they are dead?”

“Yes.”

Nasuada wiped her eyes on the hem of her sleeve. “Tell me about them Eragon. Would you, please?”

Ugh. Less than a minute ago Nasuada didn’t know that Oromis and Glaedr even existed. She has zero emotional or personal connection to them, but she reacts to the news of their deaths as though they were her long-lost family and she’s finally getting closure. This is just so completely over the top that it destroys any emotional realism in this scene. At worst we are drawn out of the book by our shattered suspension of disbelief, at best we are stuck thinking Nasuada is melodramatic and too emotional to lead an army with a clear head, if that’s how she reacts to the reported deaths of two strangers she never met, didn’t know about, and has no connection of any kind to.

[Caption: Picture of woman crying. An arrow labeled 'Single Tear' points at a tear on her cheek.]

So, in the middle of a recent battlefield, probably with corpses and spot-fires and blood and mess all over the place, and an army awaiting Nasuada’s command, Nasuada and Eragon waste half an hour chatting about Oromis and Glaedr. What happened to Arya’s earlier instructions to “keep your sorrow hidden within your hearts until we are safe and secure”, and “now is not the time or place”?

The next two pages are basically rehashing of the past few chapters that Arya and Nasuada weren’t present for. There’s some throwaway lines about how Eragon should be proud of Brom, and how it’s “fitting” that Eragon should continue Brom’s work, etc. etc. All highly inappropriate for the time and place.

They all marvel over Glaedr’s dragonball, and speak about him in the third person while he’s right there, even if he isn’t talking to any of the right now.

[Caption: Gif of a man interrupting a conversation between two others by saying 'Guys, I'm standing right here. So I can hear everything that you're saying.']

And then there’s a hollow moment of forced profundity when Eragon and Saphira contemplate how they are all alone now, and almost – almost – find a reason to pity Galby for “going insane” when his first dragon was killed.

Saphira: We are the last.

[Caption: Gif from Dragonheart of Draco saying 'I am the last']

I am the last!

The melodrama is brushed aside as though Eragon wasn’t actually feeling sad or anxious at all, just in time for a lurid description of the sunrise that goes on for half a page and adds nothing to the story except some shallow motivational thoughts and positive affirmations for Eragon. Eragon “presents [Glaedr’s eldunari] to the sun” Lion King style, and the scene ends.

Going back to Paolini’s infamous “striving to be like Tolkien at his best” humblebrag, here’s a sunset as described by Tolkien in a letter to his son:

Here I am at the best end of the day again. The most marvellous sunset I have seen in years: a remote pale green-blue sea just above the horizon, and above it a towering shore of bank upon bank of flaming cherubim of gold and fire, crossed here and there by misty blurs like purple rain.

[Caption: Gif of Prince playing the guitar.]
I'm sorry, I couldn't help it.

And here’s Paolini’s sunset from this scene, without most of the other baggage that wasn't strictly related to the sunrise itself:

One by one, rays of pale gold light streaked across the verdant fields from the east, illuminating the countless motes of dust that drifted through the air. Where the rays struck a column of smoke, the smoke glowed orange and red and billowed with renewed urgency.

In Paolini’s typical style, it’s way too specific, focused on the wrong details, and instead of allowing the readers’ imaginations to run a little bit, tries to force a specific image in a very specific way.

I know exactly what scene Paolini is trying to invoke here, but it lacks depth and poignancy, partly because Paolini can’t write his way out of a paper bag.

Watch on YouTube

And with that, the final chapter is finally finished, another pointless moment in the cavalcade of pointlessness that is the third pointless book in the Inheritance Cycle.

HERE – at long last – ENDS THE THIRD BOOK – of what was supposed to be a trilogy – OF THE INHERITANCE ~~Trilogy~~ CYCLE

THE STORY WILL CONTINUE – please Gods no – AND CONCLUDE – except not really – IN BOOK FOUR.

Thank the gods that’s over. That’s a wrap people, let’s move out.

21 comments

1. no subject

Tuesday, 23 October 2018 03:57 (local)

Posted by

snarkbotanya

Wooooo, we finished Brisingr! Sorry for my lateness with my last chapter; I promise I'll be prompt with the Eragon spork entries.

I do kind of want to point out something you didn't really get into, though. The last line of the book reads as follows:

Eragon lifted Glaedr's Eldunari over his head, presenting it to the sun and the new day, and he smiled, eager for the battles yet to come, so that he and Saphira might finally confront Galbatorix and kill the dark king.

Notice that he's not resolving to fight for the people of Alaglag or free Murtagh or anything like that; no, he's just looking forward to the fighting and killing. Any motivation that could make that sound less psychotic is suspiciously absent, as is any consideration of a non-violent (or at least less violent) solution.

Also, it's a run-on sentence, but that's par for the course at this point given what series we're reading.

Posted by

torylltales

Good point, I missed that bit because it's so completely expected for Eragon to do or say or think something a bloodthirsty warmonger would do or say or think, that it barely even registered with me.

Also, I was kind of blinded by all of this.

[Caption: Picture from The Lion King of all kinds of animals walking toward sunlight during the song The Circle of Life]

Edited Tuesday, 23 October 2018 06:53 (local)

Posted by

snarkbotanya

IT'S THE CIIIIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!

Yeah, that was a pretty blatant "strike a pose" moment. Come on, Paolini, what the hell reason does Eragon have to do that? I'll tell you: NONE! None at all!

Posted by

epistler

Yeah, I really don't think Glaedr is interested in trying to get a tan right now, Ergs.

Also, I think the final proof is rendered right here: Eragon is a poser.

Posted by

torylltales

HEEEEEEEERE COMES A LION, FATHER! OH YES, IT IS A LION.

Edited Tuesday, 23 October 2018 13:17 (local)

Posted by

snarkbotanya

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS INGONYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA BAGIIIIIIIIIIITHI BABA!

Edited Tuesday, 23 October 2018 15:18 (local)

Posted by

epistler

Yeah... I noticed that too. I really hate how diplomacy and peaceful solutions to anything is constantly dismissed by the narrative and all the characters we're supposed to agree with. Screw that hippy bullshit - just use force! Hell, you should even use threats and force over something as relatively minor as having a disagreement with your wife! Talking things out is for losers!

Posted by

gharial

Whoo hoo. Finally finished. That only took like, two years. Let's see if we can be motivated enough to finish Eragon in six months. It's a much shorter book. We can do it with a bit of motivation guys. Just start writing your next spork once your last one's finished. It's time you're going to have to spend at some point, better to not procrastinate on it.

Posted by

epistler

I agree - we need to up our game, people!

Posted by

gharial

Can you post the full list of chapter assignments? I only had the foresight to save my own.

Posted by

epistler

Ah yes - I actually re-posted it a while ago, but I was going to do it again so people wouldn't have to search for it. Uno momento...

Posted by

epistler

Wow. It's over. It's finally over. I don't know what to say.

Wait, yes I do. Well done, everyone - you've worked really hard on this, and you've been a great team! I'm very proud to know that I only had to do the bare minimum of chasing people, and no-one ever got pissy over being gently nagged to get their butts in gear. Now that's the mark of a good, solid comm.! If we all lived in the same city, I'd take you all out for dinner. As it is, here is a picture of a cake.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/79/d/0/79d703dd1f4e895d52343962cf6dafde.jpg

(I still can't figure out how to embed pictures in comments...)

Edited Tuesday, 23 October 2018 09:51 (local)