Brisingr Spork, Part 4: Assault on Helgrind

[pangolin20]

kris_norge wrote in antishurtugal, 2016-11-13 16:59:00

Brisingr Spork, Part 4: Assault on Helgrind

Hello everyone!
Sorry if this spork came up late. I've been on vacation for a few weeks and have been reuniting with family and possibly drinking more than I should. I also had to get the ebook of Brisingr because I left my stupid black brick at home. Anyway, without further ado, let us begin the assault on Helgrind :

So here we are with the sporking of chapter called Assault on Helgrind and boy do we start off well :
“Daybreak was fifteen minutes away when Eragon rolled upright”
I have issues with this very line. Although the word “minute” predates UTC, it was certainly not the standardized unit of time it became with UTC. In the Middle Ages, time was measured with sundials, water clocks or hourglasses but for most common people, time was just a notion people followed based off the position of the sun in the sky. This is probably why medieval folks were considerably less stressed most of the time than modern people. Ok, this is a fantasy setting so maybe they already have standardized time and functional clocks. But even if minutes are there, does Eragon have a clock or similar device to measure them by in that very moment? The use of “fifteen minutes” is another sign of Paolini’s problem with being far too exact (for the readers’ benefit?) and so inserting notions that feel out of place and pull the reader from the story.
Moving on.
So Eragon and Roran get up and are excited about going to face the Ra’zac. Roran asks Eragon to see to Katrina and asks him to tell her that he went into battle with joy in his heart and her name on his lips. Not that this will avail her much but men say these things so it’s fine, if a little cliché.
Now here comes trouble :
“From his bags, Eragon removed his shirt of mail and unwrapped the length of sackcloth he had stored it in. Blood from the fight in the Burning Plains still encrusted in the once-shining corselet, and the combination of dried gore, sweat, and neglect had allowed blotches of rust to creep across the rings. The mail was, however, free of tears, as Eragon had repaired them before they departed for the Empire.”
Ok… First of all, sackcloth is a really bad material to store armour. Sackcloth, such as we know it, is essentially roughly woven – and thus cheap – linen and water and humidity get through even finely woven linen. There is a reason most things stored in sackcloth are stored in dry places. For mail armour, a sack of oiled leather is much better.
Secondly, I think the use of the word “neglect” is the one thing preventing me for going on a rant on how Eragon treats his armour because it is sort of acknowledged. Speaking as a historical re-enactor who wears plate over a mail haubergeon, the saying “better safe than sorry” certainly applies with armour. Rust is much easier to prevent than to remove. Removing could be done but preventing it is much easier. I have a friend who bled in his armour (unlucky sword blow in an open-faced helmet) and others who ran across a river in full plate. Yet none of these got a speck of rust on the armour after this. Why? Because they CLEANED it IMMEDIATELY after action. Rust makes metal more brittle and thus weakens it. Any soldier worth his salt from a disciplinary perspective takes care of his armour immediately after action, no matter how tired he is. And even if he doesn’t want to do it himself, surely the spearhead of the Varden’s trump card can get someone to do it for him?
Although this, combined with similar issues throughout Eldest and Brisingr, bring up an oddity of Eragon’s character. He is originally a farm boy and should know to maintain his tools. Yet his mind-rants about how much of a chore cleaning his armour or sharpening his sword is, show that he was raised as a farm boy but behaves like an aristocrat. He should know full well the importance of maintaining kit and not mind working with his hands, yet he is as bratty and lazy as a teenaged senior aristocrat raised in riches with others to do chores and labour for him.
Anyway Eragon dons his armour and so does Roran.
“Roran outfitted himself in a similar manner, although he augmented his armour with a wooden shield. A band of soft iron wrapped around the lip of the shield, the better to catch and hold an enemy’s sword.”
NO! NO! NO! NO!
First of all, anyone calling iron “soft” has problems because soft is the last thing iron is. Secondly, “the better to catch and hold an enemy’s sword” what the hell??? Based on the shield’s description, I assume he’s talking about one of the iron-edged embossed shields of the early to high Middle Ages, most likely the Viking-style round shield. I don’t know where Paolini learned that the iron band was better to catch and hold an enemy’s sword but it is certainly NOT for that. These shields are usually made of several planks glued together and then reinforced by being covered on the face with leather or parchment glued to the wood’s surface, and by the band of iron that goes around it. The iron band serves to protect the shield’s edges (which are the weakest if they take a direct hit) and hold it together better and would be better to deflect an incoming blow. NOT catch and hold anything!
Eragon has no sword and just his ridiculous hawthorn staff and I won’t go into the innumerable problems with that as they have already been worked upon! A staff is, admittedly, potentially a fine weapon in the right hands. But if you have access to something better, you may as well go with it. Eragon using a staff here is solely so that the Ra’zac present some kind of challenge to our overpowered hero.
Eragon also has his elven bow and a quiver with twenty arrows. Now I am firmly opposed to anyone who flies using a quiver. Why? Arrows can fall out of a quiver all too easily. What I don’t think is very common knowledge is that even the longbowmen in English medieval armies didn’t use quivers. They were, I think, used mostly by hunters. But in battle, the English had specially made arrow bags made to contain large amounts of arrows, hold them in, without crushing the fletchings. Archery isn’t exactly my strong point but I can assure Paolini that if Saphira does a twist in mid-air, Eragon may find himself with an unfortunate surprise when he reaches to take an arrow from his quiver.

So they fly up and off in search of the Ra’zac den, leaving their bags hanging from a tree. As they are flying, dawn comes and we get a volley of purple prose : “A fan of golden light flickered into existence as the top of the sun crested the horizon. In an instant, the full spectrum of colors enlivened the previously drab world: the mist glowed white, the water became a rich blue, the daubed-mud wall that encircled the center of Dras Leona revealed its dingy yellow sides, the trees cloaked themselves in every shade of green and the soil blushed red and orange. Helgrind, however, remained as it always was – black.”
Purple prose… there is worse prose than this but I do seriously need to call into question what he meant by “daubed-mud” wall because if Dras Leona has mud walls I would say its fortifications are seriously out of date and question the Varden’s difficulty in taking the city.
Anyway, they fly around Helgrind and Eragon confirms the presence of the two prisoners there but not the Ra’zac.
Then they discover, entirely on accident, that the entrance to the Ra’zac den is protected by an illusion of rocky cliff face. They discover this after Eragon sees a flower and wonders how it gets enough light to live, Saphira perches on a rock, stumbles, and her wing goes into the cliff. Honestly, it would have been much better if they had actually been searching for the illusion because the flower’s presence showed that light had to come from one side where there is rock. But of course, I also question the presence of this one SINGLE flower on Helgrind because surely that part of it is not the only one that gets sunlight.
So they get into the Ra’zac den. There is a great big chamber with five small tunnels and a lancet passage leading on. There, Eragon and Roran undo the leg straps that hold them onto the saddle.
Then the Letherblaka attack !!!!

Eragon and Roran are thrown against the wall and are dazed but I suppose that is preferable to being stuck to her back as she fights two large winged monsters in a confined space. I am picturing the two of them strapped there being banged around everyhere on the walls, ceiling, and floor as Saphira tackles the Lethrblaka.
Now not only are the Lethrblaka hideously ugly but they stink. Paolini’s exact words are : “The smell now, with both Lethrblaka present, resembled the sort of overpowering stench one would get from tossing a half-dozen pounds of rancid meat into a barrel of sewage and allowing the mixture to ferment for a week in the summer.”
Now aside from the fact that being both ugly and stinky is a sure sign of evilness, you know what also stinks? The fell-beasts ridden by the Nazgul in the last two LOTR books. Given the multiple parallels between the Ra’zac and the Nazgul, no way is this coincidence.
Also, given the fact that the scene is supposed to be tense, our characters loaded with adrenalin, and that we are SUPPOSED TO BE concerned for our characters’ survival, such a lengthy description stuck right in the middle of the action is silly, out of place, and cuts any tension from the scene. “Overpowering stench” would largely have sufficed on its own.
Just as Eragon and Roran are regaining their senses, the Ra’zac attack.
“Unlike their parents, the Ra’zac were roughly the same size and shape as humans. An ebony exoskeleton encased them from top to bottom although little of it showed, for even in Helgrind, the Ra’zac wore dark robes and cloaks.”
Did we really need ANOTHER description of the Ra’zac’s physical appearances?

Here, two things can be noted. I can only presume that they caught the Ra’zac unawares because otherwise the two charges could have been better coordinated so that the Ra’zac attacked while Eragon and Roran were dazed and thus butchered them easily.
The second and more important thing is that the Ra’zac and Lethrblaka cannot be sensed by magic. I think that Paolini had only just come up with that idea because, since most of the spellwork in Alagesia seems to revolve around sensing the mind of your opponent, you would think that the all-knowing Oromis or Brom who’s had multiple brushes with the Ra’zac already would have known about that and would have TOLD Eragon.
Now Eragon gets back to back with Roran and tells him to “Hold them off for a minute!” while he figures out how to best assist Saphira against the Lethrblaka.
Really?
Roran is going to let his cousin, who – last he knew – was a farmer and whose martial prowess he has never witnessed apart from watching him bash two idiots from behind, hold off TWO creatures that are both AS FAST AS ELVES????????
Yet he manages rather well. He is apparently too slow to retaliate but the Ra’zac can’t harm him because he has wards/plot armour. Ok but whose energy do they draw on? Because Roran should be taking a lot of hits which should all be drawing on his strength. Being an amateur in medieval combat, I train with one of the more experienced guys in my re-enactment team and he is faster than me. Consequently he lands three blows on me for every one I land on him. Speed makes a huge difference! I have a little training and can barely hold my own against a faster more experienced man. Roran has no martial training to speak of and just got a bang on the head and could be concussed. The Ra’zac may have no martial training but they are infinitely more experienced and they are fast as elves and are two to one! The Ra’zac should be battering him easily.
I would also like to point out that tackling was an essential part of medieval combat, whether with dagger, sword, or anything. Much of it bears a strong resemblance to modern MMA grappling. Wards protect against blows but can they guard against grapples? If blows fail to work, the Ra’zac should just grapple him and throw him down.
Roran does eventually get injured though while Eragon is busy trying a variety of spells on the Lethrblaka and the Ra’zac appear to be very stupid because instead of concentrating their efforts to finish Roran now that his wards are down, one tries to move around him to get at Eragon.
“He only had time for one more spell before he would have to devote himself to stopping the Ra’zac from inserting the sword between his liver and kidneys.”
Once again, a silly line that pulls the reader from the action.
Eragon does a “crude spell, constructed in haste and poorly worded” that works (of course) and blinds one of the Lethrblaka. He then goes and beats back the two Ra’zac fairly easily – so much for any tension when your hero is basically as overpowered as a demigod.
The second Ra’zac he beats is somewhat injured and it says that had Eragon wielded Za’roc, he would have killed it then and there and we get this : “I need a sword, thought Eragon” Really??????? So why did you just come with your ridiculous hawthorn staff?
Eragon is nonetheless able to hold off the two Ra’zac with the hawthorn staff and because he has less wards than Roran or Saphira, he gets injured on the outside of his left knee. For that injury to not have been crippling it had to have been a glancing blow and that a glancing blow injured him means his legs are not armoured… Why oh why do Eragon and Roran only have torso and head protections? And how, if Eragon managed to get injured against them despite his strength and speed, did Roran manage to hold against them for so long?
After that, Eragon stuns one and disarms the other. Then they are forced to back off as the blinded Lethrblaka goes nuts. Saphira immediately kills it by breaking its neck. The remaining Lethrblaka charges and the two of them tumble out of the den. Eragon then turns to see that two Ra'zac have bailed on the fight. So he casually heals Roran and himself, no harm is done, and they go off to pursue the Ra'zac into the darkness.

At this point Roran comments that he cannot fight in the dark. Eragon replies that if he makes a light, the Ra’zac will just hide out until they leave. I don’t see why this is? If anything, a light would make them easier to see without being seen and the Ra’zac could shoot arrows at them from in the darkness (which they do).
But Eragon doesn’t make a light and just tells Roran to hold on to his belt and they go exploring the dark passageways. Eragon fears that the Ra’zac would attack from a distance with a bow but trusts that his reflexes are sharp enough to defend himself and Roran from an incoming missile.
Then we get almost a page’s worth of description about all that Eragon perceives since he cannot see. This wouldn’t be too bad had it not been so long, and had it not proceeded sense by sense, sounding like a catalog rather than giving an overall feel.
They move along and Saphira gets back from killing the second Lethrblaka. And so passed the Lethrblaka… built up to be formidable monsters but both killed within a single chapter without having really done anything particular throughout the previous two books aside from serving as the Nazgul… I mean Ra’zac’s flying mounts.
They get near Katrina’s cell and Eragon transmits his thoughts to Roran and they have a telepathic conversation. I question how Roran is able to reply since he was never magically trained and has no magical talent to speak of.
Then the Ra’zac ambush them… with bows and arrows. An arrow cuts a groove of flesh in Eragon’s cheek. To be noted is the fact that Eragon was alerted to the Ra’zac’s presence because he heard : “the swish of cloth sliding over cloth”. This makes me wonder why on earth the Ra’zac are still wearing their robes and cloaks in the darkness of Helgrind? They have no need to protect themselves from light or from being recognized and, as Bronn astutely put in Season 2 of Game of Thrones : “A cloak slows you down in a fight and makes it hard to move quietly”so why on earth are the Ra’zac wearing them for a stealth attack?
Anyway, Eragon casts a spell and “Red light, bright as midday sun, flared into existence. It had no source and thus it illuminated every surface evenly and without shadows, giving things a curiously flat appearance.” How on earth does the light have “no source”? Did Eragon just say “let there be light”? And how on earth is a red light bright as midday sun? Since the midday sun includes the full colour spectrum of which red is only a small part, and a rather dim one at that, I think that’s impossible unless the light is of an intensity far superior to the sun.
And why is the light even red? There is a reason we used red lights when picking birds from poultry farms at night in my younger days and why soldiers today use red lights at night. We used red lights in poultry buildings because it is a dim colour and so the birds aren’t so reactive, making them easier to pick and load onto the trucks. And in the army they use red lights at night because it’s not easily seen from a distance and also to NOT dazzle the person in front of you.
Yet the Ra’zac are completely dazzled and blinded despite their hoods. Roran charges one and bashes it in with his hammer For Frodo! For the Shire! And for My old gaffer! Or rather “For my father! For my home! For Carvahall!” but the gist is the same.
Eragon turns to confront the remaining Ra’zac and it’s gone. He swears and then goes over and whacks the dead Ra’zac with his stick, saying he’s waited a long time to do that. The last person I saw whack a corpse someone else had killed was Batiatus in the Starz series Spartacus, and he is about as petty and low as a man can be.
Then Eragon suddenly cries out as the cut on his cheek starts bubbling and burning. We learn this is because the Ra’zac coated the arrowhead in Seithr oil. My question is why on earth their swords weren’t coated with the same? Hell, they had Seithr oil on the dagger that killed Brom. That would have made the wounds Roran and Eragon took in the fight a whole lot more dangerous.
But of course he cleanses his cheek and no harm is done. How much more interesting it might have been if he had taken a defigurating scar… But then we can’t have our heroes losing their prettiness.
Eragon then says : “Imagine the state we’d be in without magic?”
Well then Eragon you might actually have to WORK for what you get. Or you’d have died a thousand deaths.
But Roran retorts : “Without magic, we wouldn’t have Galbatorix to worry about.”
And the world would be a better place as this series would never have existed. But then I can’t exactly say that because my closest friend was met on this very website.
Anyway Saphira tells them to get on with it and so Eragon gives Roran directions to Katrina’s cell. Roran goes at bashing the door with his hammer and Eragon doesn’t help him because “His cousin would not want or appreciate assistance now” and I don’t really know why. Eragon could pop the locks open in seconds and he lets his cousin bash away.
Eragon then goes searching the cells and finds one whose mind he should have been able to sense so it shouldn’t have been a surprise that it is Sloan!

Up next is Divergence also by me and I'll try to get this one up faster

24 comments

[1]

the_bishop8
November 13 2016, 05:20:54
After that, Eragon stuns one and disarms the other. Then they are forced to back off as the blinded

I don’t see why this is? If anything, a light would make them easier to see without being seen and the Ra’zac could shoot arrows at them from in the

These two sentences seem to have been cut off.

The description of Eragon fighting with his staff reminds me of Darth Maul.

The staff was ideal for fighting multiple opponents, as he could strike and block with both ends, and often simultaneously.

I doubt it's plagiarized...but I have my doubts when I see Eragon using his staff to deflect an arrow, which happens in the next chapter I spork.

[1A]

kris_norge
November 14 2016, 06:27:20
Woah! Thank you for pointing that out! A whole small paragraph somehow got misplaced. Error is now rectified.

[2]

minionnumber2
November 14 2016, 07:22:34
I know a lot of people talk about Paolini doing too many things similar to a D&D campaign, but this chapter may have benefited from better tactics, traps and environmental obstacles. For example, Tucker's Kobolds is a fantastic example of giving your heroes a hard time with weaker enemies He could have made life difficult for Roran and Eragon while they struggled to fight in the dark. Hell, he could have even made the entire mountain warded against magic. This is the Ra'zac's home turf, you shouldn't be able to just waltz in if you've got balls big enough.

[2A]

Anonymous
November 14 2016, 08:01:47
Paolini would be a terrible GM. He would definitely be a railroader. Of course he probably only played video game RPG's. D&D is entirely social. Doesn't fit the profile we have for him.

[2B]

Anonymous
November 14 2016, 09:28:01
Smaller enemies can be really tuff ones.I once killed a dragon in Skyrim really quick,but struggled against a cave bear that killed me 3 times in a row

[2B1]

Anonymous
November 18 2016, 03:03:33
CP would be a horrid DM, because he thinks too technical, and the last thing you want is a DM who's unable to bend the rules. Many new DMs forget that the rules are a suggestion, that house rules can be made, while others can be ignored if the party doesn't care for them. And above all else, being a good DM requires the one thing that he lacks... imagination.

I recall a few times where my party had to break into a place, and one players, thinking like CP, saying: "We're lvl 14, the most they'll have a mooks. We got this!" His character and his team mates barged in, no plan, thinking they could beat the dungeon based on leveled lists. They all died, learning the hard lesson that the world doesn't revolve around them - the dungeon had mixed units ranging in level and experience, just like a real squad or group of adventurers. Also, I had a dungeon where an "anti-magic field" caused any and all magic go haywire, so it was random who'd it would target. So, really, even a D&D campaign can do a better job at suspense than this chapter can, but it really boils down to imagination. A competent writer would've gotten in the heads of the defenders, think of ways of making this place fortified from top to bottom, and then thinking.... ow are the heroes getting in?


-RR

[2B1A]

minionnumber2
November 19 2016, 20:12:14
^ This. Good action doesn't have to be a life-or-death struggle in every fight but it has to be interesting at least. Anything to break up the Kick In the Door (or rather, Swoop In With a Dragon and Stab Them In The Face) tactics.

[3]

Anonymous
November 14 2016, 11:09:33
And the lesson of Tucker's Kobolds is that even the CR 1/4 monsters of the world should be treated as individuals with lives and feelings, rather than expendables to be thrown onto PC blades. A GM should play them sincerely. If you come into their homes and fuck around then they will do everything in their power to fight back. Not because they were part of a specially built challenge but because they're alive.

[3A]

minionnumber2
November 14 2016, 19:56:46
And, as one of my favorite authors is fond of saying, no matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style. Playing dirty can go a long way and there is literally no reason they SHOULDN'T have expected a rescue attempt.

[4]

torylltales
November 14 2016, 15:00:14
I love how this chapter sets up the running gag of Eragon complaining about needing a sword. Since I'm doing the "I need a sword!" chapter, It's
interesting to see how often this phrase crops up in the nest 300-something pages.

[4A]

theepistler
November 14 2016, 18:53:27
"I have ridiculously powerful magic, super speed, super strength, super senses and a pet dragon, but I need a sword! Don't ask me why - I just do, okay?"

[4A1]

Anonymous
November 14 2016, 22:36:40
You already know the answer.
“simbolism"?
Who cares!? Itz because is cool!

[5]

hergrim
November 14 2016, 21:30:49
Now I am firmly opposed to anyone who flies using a quiver. Why? Arrows can fall out of a quiver all too easily. What I don’t think is very common knowledge is that even the longbowmen in English medieval armies didn’t use quivers. They were, I think, used mostly by hunters. But in battle, the English had specially made arrow bags made to contain large amounts of arrows, hold them in, without crushing the fletchings. Archery isn’t exactly my strong point but I can assure Paolini that if Saphira does a twist in mid-air, Eragon may find himself with an unfortunate surprise when he reaches to take an arrow from his quiver.

Now, while Paolini would probably never know this, there is a certain type of quiver - dubbed a "closed quiver" used by horse archers that would partially solve this problem. While not entirely enclosed, it is closed in at the top to a large degree and comes with a flap or hinged lid that can be used to completely shut the quiver and prevent arrows from falling or moisture from entering.

Quivers do show up quite heavily in military contexts through history, though, from the Assyrian back quiver to the lathe turned quivers in the Nydam bog to the Bayeux Tapestry and various manuscript illustrations. The Nydam quivers at least seem to have had lids, and I'd be surprised if the other medieval or earlier quivers didn't have some way to keep the rain out, even if it was just a bag acting as an internal liner that could be rolled up and over the fletchings.

Hunters are most associated with three or fewer arrows in their belt rather than a quiver.

[5A]

kris_norge
November 15 2016, 11:18:04
Ok... Good to know about the closed quivers. Do you by any chance have any medieval paintings/pictures of archeological findings of these things? I'm always interested in collecting new sources.

[5A1]

hergrim
November 15 2016, 17:29:30
There's a great collection here: https://plus.google.com/photos/114591808679565730249/albums/5352830649942950385

[6]

theepistler
November 16 2016, 10;14:46
“Daybreak was fifteen minutes away when Eragon rolled upright”

This bit really bugged me too. Not only does it make no sense that someone living in a medieval fantasy world with no clocks knows what minutes are or uses them in such precise terms, but... even if clocks did exist and Eragon had one, how in the hell would he know that it was exactly fifteen minutes until dawn? Dawn doesn't come at the exact same time every morning! Is there a news report on the magical TV where the weatherman tells viewers what time dawn will be the next day? I reeeaally doubt it.

That aside, this description is simply not evocative or interesting in the slightest. Numbers are not interesting and evoke no emotion or atmosphere. Much as saying the heroes are up against exactly twenty soldiers doesn't make the situation sound tense or dangerous. Paolini has a really bad habit of throwing in exact figures when they're neither needed nor wanted. And it's really not realistic at all, either. The "characters", such as they are, are constantly able to just "know" exactly how big something is, or how many things they're looking at. I mean, come on. If you're suddenly confronted by a gang of armed men, are you really going to just stand there and count them rather than reacting with "OH SHIT I'M IN TROUBLE!"? If you enter an impressively huge room, are you going to stand there thinking "hmm, it's about 500 metres across", or are you going to react with "oh wow, it's huge!"?

Yet another example of Paolini's characters acting like emotionless robots. They're almost always way too calm and collected, and never "in the moment". You can see it again during the boring fight scene in this chapter, where Eragon is supposed to be fighting for his life but is actually shown as very calmly describing everything in minute detail. This has the effect of removing any sense of immediacy or danger, and makes Eragon come across as bizarrely numb and removed. It ruins any notion of either of them being in any actual danger.

This is just... not how real people think or act. Why do none of Paolini's characters ever freak the fuck out when something bad happens unexpectedly? Why does no-one ever panic and run? Especially given that neither Eragon or Roran are hardened career soldiers and both of them are basically just kids? Hell, one of my characters actually IS a hardened career soldier, and when he's up against an impossible number of enemies with no-one to back him up, guess what he does? He goes "oh shit!" and runs away very fast. Eragon and Roran really have no sense of self-preservation at all, do they? They seem utterly incapable of actually experiencing fear - and I mean REAL fear. The kind of fear that makes your heart race out of control and sweat run down your back. The kind of fear that leaves you incapable of rational thought and acting on blind instinct. And frequently that instinct is "run and hide somewhere so I don't fucking DIE". That's not cowardice - it's a perfectly normal, human reaction to danger.

Oh wait - none of these characters actually are normal, rational human beings with real emotions or instincts. Never mind. *eyes Paolini's big fancy house and sighs wearily*

[6A]

kris_norge
November 16 2016, 10:36:28
It's almost as if the characters are aware they have impenetrable plot armour and thus have no need to experience fear.

[6A1]

theepistler
November 16 2016, 10:40:34
When will people learn that protecting your characters from any actual harm makes your books REALLY boring and devoid of any suspense? If there's absolutely zero chance of any of them dying or suffering any lasting injury, why should we even care that they're in danger?

Oh, right - we don't. And that's half the reason why Paolini's fight scenes are so utterly tedious to read. You just want to get it over and done with because you already know full-well that the outcome will be yet another FLAWLESS VICTORY!!

[6A1A]

doomotter
November 16 2016, 18:12:01
And when they do get hurt they are healed and never have to deal with it again. there is literally no consequences to their risks or failures.

Eragon gets horrifically mangled to defeat a superior foe? get turned into an elf and everything is okay! Sapphire gets hurt hitting on golden boy dragon? she gets healed and nothing is learned.

[6A1A1]

theepistler
November 16 2016, 20:09:38
Yep. Everything is 100% consequences free. No-one ever makes a mistake and suffers real consequences for it. Injuries are instantly healed, leaving no disabilities or even scars behind. Gods forbid anyone who's been in half a dozen battles wind up with so much as a limp. No-one even suffers from real PTSD - that's conveniently fixed too. I was so bloody irritated when Eragon starts having a traumatic nightmare and Saphira just swoops in and takes it away. He's not even allowed to suffer from insomnia, FFS! Even I get that sometimes, and the closest I've ever come to a battle is watching a punch-up outside a pub! (Yes of course I called the cops).

[6A1A1A]

Anonymous
November 18 2016, 03:23:02
Having run D&D, I've seen players freak out, no matter what level. If I force them into low-light fighting, cramped areas, traps, new monster mashups, etc, they know that they're in for a surprise. As I mentioned before in the comments above, I had a dungeon with "anti-magic field," which allow targeted magic to fire, but whatever the intended target was always random ... it could hit anyone, even the caster. The team was so paranoid about it that they had to learn to rely on their other skills and cleverness to solve the adventure. A good campaign should be like a real fight; it should feel like a life or death struggle - every time! No matter if you're level 1 or a super-powered level 20 adventurer. If there's no risk of dying, there's no tension; no tension, combat scenes become static and pointless.

Also, I use a small sand clock to time people's turn in combat; 30 seconds, if you haven't decided what you're doing, your turn is forfeit and you stand around with your thumb up your ass for a round. Some players hate it, but this is how combat is in real life, there's no slow-mo, and most people who are in brawls, don't really piece together what happened until after the fact; never during the action. This is applicable to writing as well. No character should see in minute detail what's happening, cause that's not possible. If you're writing a combat scene and it takes LONGER to read the scene than it does to act it out, you're doing it wrong. Action scenes should be quick, fast, and even vague, as fights with multiple opponents are impossible to track down. If anyone has been those kind of fights, you'll know that most of the focus is forward to your opponent, while being aware as best you can of the sidelines.

-RR

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theepistler
November 18 2016, 10:14:20
Well said! (I really gotta try this D&D thing one day).

I think it's pretty bleeding obvious that Paolini has never been in any sort of high-adrenaline situation. Or if he has he doesn't know how to translate what it feels like onto the page. I've never been in a fight or a car crash, thankfully, but even so I know what it feels like to have something sudden and violent happen to you. Such as the time I was standing on a stool, putting up a poster. The stool tipped over and next thing I knew I was on the floor, injured in several places. It was over in half a second. And you know what my first thought was? It was "What the fuck just happened?". To this day I still have no frigging clue how the stool tipped over, or how exactly each of my injuries was inflicted. All I know is that I fell down and spent the next week walking with a limp.

When I write battle scenes, I strip everything down and have the characters experience it pretty much as a blur. In one of my books a guy goes into battle, and actually blanks out a lot of it. At one point he realises he's lost his helmet and has no idea when or how that happened. Later on he ends up in the middle of the enemy camp and isn't sure exactly how he got there. If there's one thing that kills a person's ability to pay close attention to things, it's adrenaline.

And if you want your characters to come across as actual human beings, you simply cannot write action scenes as if they were a turn-based RPG with no time restrictions on people's turns. Which is how all of Paolini's "exciting" fight scenes are written. They're slow, they're needlessly detailed, and they're boring. A climactic fight scene should NEVER be boring. I mean, come on.

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Anonymous
November 18 2016, 06:36:52
The light being red is actually reasonable. It takes time for the human eye to get used to darkness - about 15-20 minutes for it to get as good vision in the dark as possible. If you then look at a light source your dark vision will be nullified instantly and you will need another 15-20 minutes of darkness to regain in. Red light, however, does not affect the eye the same way as other types of light, and therefore you will keep your nightvision even if you light your way with a red lantern - or in this case - magic.

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Anonymous
November 18 2016, 11:47:37
He was pointing out that the Razac should not have gotten dazzled by the red light despite their hoods.
-TTT


Original repost:


epistler posting in as_sporkive, Apr. 24th, 2019, 09:32 PM

Originally posted by Kris_Norge