as_sporkive | Brisingr Spork Chapter 39: Reunion

theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-12-24 21:52:00

MOOD: festive
MUSIC: The Pogues - Fairytale of New York

Brisingr Spork Chapter 39: Reunion

Hey everybody! It’s Christmas Eve, and I’m feeling festive! In fact, I think I feel a song coming on!

[Caption: Cover image of 'You Got a Friend in Me' from Toy Story Two]

You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot, Happy Christmas your arse, I pray god it’s our last.
The boys of the NYPD Choir still singing ‘Galway Bay’, and the bells are ringing out for Christmas day-

What? I hate Christmas carols, okay? Now, alternative Celtic rock on the other hand…

Anyway, so here’s your present from me to you – another sporking! This one is a rather short chapter, but it contains more painful attempts at friendshipbonding so it’s pretty annoying to read.

In the last chapter Eragon decided to run off and ditch his protesting guards, because he’s a rude prat with no good manners or common sense. This one opens with him running, and we’re spared no description as he dodges around various dwarves – somehow able to provide agonisingly intricate descriptions of the scenery despite the speed he’s going – and then jumps over a group of “Knurlcarathn” who were in his way. Um, what the hell is a “Knurlcarathn”? It sounds like some sort of German pastry. And why is Eragon using this dwarvish term anyway? Does he speak the language now? I guess I could check the index in the back, but I’m supremely annoyed that I should have to.

[surprise guest Toryll: It’s even worse than you think, because the Knurlcarathn are a particular clan. How does Eragon know they are from that particular clan, speeding past them so quickly? I don’t recall anything about the dwarves advertising their clan affiliations in flashing neon letters on their hats, in any of the myriad exhausting descriptions of dwarvish customs and fashion.]

Maybe they wear name tags?

Okay, I looked it up. Apparently it means “stonemasons”. It actually appeared a few times earlier in the book, but I must have blanked it out due to boredom and/or Jim Beam. Why is it necessary to state the trade of the guys he jumps over anyway? Oh right – it’s not. Paolini just felt like sticking it in there by way of another piece of misplaced world-building.
Eragon being Eragon, he of course gets smug satisfaction from seeing their amazement. That Power Boner must be throbbing something fierce right about now. Random dwarves yell “hail, Argetlam!” as he jogs by, just to remind us that Eragon is super duper important [Toryll: “Hail to the teenage human who unwittingly led an army to our doors and destroyed our greatest treasure in the ensuing battle!”], and he runs on between a pair of “giant gold griffins”. Paolini was actually asked if there are real griffins in Arglebargle, and thankfully the answer was no.Thank heavens for that; given how badly he butchered dragons I’d hate to see him get his grubby mitts on griffins as well.

He finally emerges into the open. Cue some unnecessarily detailed description of the landscape outside, and Eragon likes it and thinks about how being outdoors has “freed him of his usual worries”.

…such as? No, really – what “worries”? Anyone? Bueller?

Eragon follows a “cobblestone” path to a pair of doors set into the mountainside, and for no reason at all Paolini specifies that they’re thirty feet high. I feel like I’m reading the Bible all of a sudden what with all the pointlessly precise numbers and measurements I keep being spoonfed. A couple of guards rush to open the doors for him, and on the other side is a tunnel full of pillars encrusted with gemstones. I’d like to visit this place with my trusty screwdriver; I’d walk away with enough treasure to retire on. The dwarves sure are an extravagant lot, aren’t they? If they can’t make it huge, they cover it in shiny shit. I’m surprised Eragon doesn’t need sunglasses.

[Caption: 'Bling Bling Baby!' written in a glittery font.]

[Toryll: given dwarven past-times also examined in detail in the series, I’m not sure “shiny shit” is too much of a dysphemism, either.]

There are a lot of mysterious doors in the tunnel, and Eragon wonders where they lead. Then he gets claustrophobic at the idea of going that deep underground and stops thinking about it. Maybe he’s really just scared of being overly curious about anything; it would explain a lot.

Halfway along the tunnel he “feels” Saphira… somehow; it’s not explained. He yells her name, and apparently he has Super Shouting Power on his list of random special abilities, because the narrator states that his voice has “the force of a dozen yells”. Now this could be explained away as the echo in the tunnel, except during the Dwarf Ninjas chapter his yell made the frigging walls shake.

When the fuck did Eragon get Super Shouting? Really, when? It just comes right out of nowhere! Has he been taking lessons from the Greybeards on the side? Can he use the Unrelenting Force Shout now? I mean really. It’s not enough that he’s got elfy looks, super speed, super agility, super strength, super hearing, super sense of smell, super eyesight, magic, telepathy, a dragon, super learning, super social status, the deference of Kings and Queens and about 600-odd magical accessories – now he gets to pull even more abilities right out of his ass whenever the author feels like it.

[Toryll: personally, despite there being a rich tradition of Super Shouting in the kind of media Paolini was likely to enjoy at the time, from Morrowind (Voice Of The Emperor was a racial ability for ) to Kung Fu Hustle (the Lion’s Roar), I think this was inspired by Christopher Lee’s interpretation of Saruman, with that powerful booming voice that echoed across the land and caused snowstorms in the mountains.]

Guys, I’m calling a cease and desist on this giving Eragon new power-ups thing. It’s gotten way, way out of hand. And he hasn’t even collected the big heaping pile of dead dragons and gotten inexhaustible magic supplies off them yet.

This is what happens when you’re writing wish fulfilment bullshit and have no idea how to handle characterisation. Eragon doesn’t have an interesting personality – in fact he barely has a personality at all. He’s just a cardboard cutout with no inner life. Rather than giving him hopes and dreams, fears, loves, regrets, personal opinions, quirks or mannerisms, Paolini just gives him accessories and power-ups and hopes the rest will take care of itself.

This is why Eragon comes off as a character in an RPG rather than an actual person [EDIT: I specifically mean those RPGs where the main character doesn't have a set personality and is a blank slate to serve as the player's avatar]. It’s not even that I don’t care about him – I actively can’t care about him, and don’t want to, to the point that I actively resist when Paolini tries to make me sympathise with his precious self-insert. I’m sure you’re all doing the same. Let’s face it – caring about Eragon and his non-existent problems is like trying to care about somebody else’s breakfast. And if that somebody keeps pestering you to care about said breakfast because it’s just so interesting, you’re going to get annoyed at them. Which is what it feels like when Paolini keeps pestering me to give a damn about Eragon.

“My protagonist is acting sad for a paragraph! Please pity him!”
“No.”
“Pretty please?”
“No.”
“But look, I’m describing his tears in precise purple detail! I demand empathy!”
“For the last time, NO!”

This is also why the upcoming reunion scene is going to leave me thoroughly unmoved.

Saphira calls back telepathically… even though Eragon hasn’t “opened his mind” to her yet. Plot hole!

Now Eragon “opens his mind”, or as Paolini puts it he “remov[es] every barrier around who he was”. How exactly does that work? The whole mental defences thing has never been clearly explained and the descriptions of it are infuriatingly vague. This becomes a bigger problem in the next book when we start getting a bunch of “mind-fights” which are supposed to be exciting or some junk like that but which mostly just come off as nonsensical.

Paolini describes their minds melding back together, and it’s typically melodramatic and vaguely creepy.

Like a flood of warm water, her consciousness rushed into him, even as his rushed into her. Eragon gasped and tripped and nearly fell. They enveloped each other within the folds of their thoughts [“folds”?], holding each other with an intimacy no physical embrace could replicate [Um, ew?], allowing their identities to merge once again [HOW are they “merged”?]. Their greatest comfort was a simple one: they were no longer alone. To know that you were with one who cared for you [is that why they do nothing but bicker and snipe at each other?], and who understood every fiber of your being [not hard since they’re both about as complex as a piece of dry toast], and who would not abandon you in even the most desperate of circumstances [when are either of them ever in remotely desperate circumstances?], that was the most precious relationship a person could have, and both Eragon and Saphira cherished it.

[Art for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, with Twilight Sparkle and Applejack]

[Toryll: eww.]

“Ew” is the word. I’m reading less “beautiful friendship” and more “unhealthy co-dependency”. Sad though it is to say it Paolini clearly has absolutely no idea how an actual friendship works or how to portray one convincingly, and I think it’s because he makes all his characters so very, very selfish and lacking in empathy. Take Eragon (and please don’t bring him back). He treats everybody he knows as if they exist to serve his personal whims and convenience, and I don’t just mean in the sense that he wants them to do things for him. He leeches off people emotionally as well, and he doesn’t give anything back.

Look at how he treats Saphira. He says he loves and cares about her, but in reality he treats her as his personal transport and tank, and when she coddles him emotionally by taking his nightmares away and such, he just accepts this as his due. He doesn’t reciprocate by asking after her own emotional wellbeing, or anything like that. In fact most of the time he doesn’t even bother to say thanks, let alone feel the slightest gratitude toward her.

I did a quick count, and Eragon thanks somebody for something about thirteen times in the entire book. Want to know how many times he thanks Saphira for doing anything?

Once. One time only. And it’s right here in this chapter.

And he’s like this with everybody. He doesn’t go out of his way to spend time with the people he supposedly cares about, and nor does her bother to ask after their welfare. He doesn’t even spend time thinking about them. For example, while he’s away he knows full-well that Roran is on his first dangerous mission into enemy territory. Does he spend any time fretting over the safety of his cousin-like-a-brother or scry him to see if he’s okay?

Nope. It never so much as crosses his mind. He just takes it for granted that Roran will still be there when he gets back. And when he does, he basically just ignores the guy anyway.

[Toryll: this is a consistent theme throughout the series: ‘out of sight is out of mind’. If something or someone isn’t right there in front of Eragon, he doesn’t think about it.]

I realise I’m rambling a bit now, so I’ll wrap it up here. The point is that because Eragon thinks and behaves this way, none of his supposed “friendships” ring remotely true. Instead he just comes off as an entitled little snot who thinks other people are there to keep him happy and nothing else. And this includes his supposed “soulmates” bond with Saphira. They don’t even act as if they like each other half the time, and the mind-meld thingy Paolini is making such a big screaming deal about here just boils down to talking telepathically and very occasionally sharing unspecified “emotions”.

Getting back to this fingernails-on-a-chalkboard chapter, Saphira comes flying down the tunnel and we’re spared no description of that. Eragon hugs his big scaly kitty around the neck, and for probably the first time in the entire book actually pays attention to her wellbeing, noting that she’s tired. Saphira tells him she’s been flying for three days with only one stop. Eragon shows some gratitude toward her for probably the first time in the entire series so far, and thanks her for pushing herself so hard since he couldn’t bear to be apart for even one more day.

This is a moment that would work if the two of them actually had a close and loving relationship, but as I just exhaustively explained, they don’t, so this wins a “who cares?” reaction from me, the bored reader.

[Caption: A skeleton slumped onto a laptop, with text 'Boring']

Saphira grouses about the Dwarf Ninjas incident, and nags at him for always getting in trouble when she’s not there. He points out that incident in the first book when the Urgals took him captive and her only contribution was to “bugle in alarm”. Yeah, remember how utterly useless Saphira was in Eragon? That’s totally changed now, promise. Saphira shrugs it off saying she was smaller and less experienced then so it doesn’t count.

What, you were too stupid to know how to charge in and bite things when your frickin’ “partner-of-heart-and-mind” was in mortal peril? Nice retcon, Paolini.

Unfortunately, after this Paolini tries his hand at “comedy” again, as Eragon retorts that he’s never “helpless” – he just has “powerful enemies”. For some damn reason (seriously, even Eragon doesn’t know), the two of them find this hilarious and start cracking up laughing. It gets to the point where Eragon is rolling on the ground and Saphira keeps laughing up fireballs.

Does anyone seriously roll on the ground laughing outside of a cartoon? Serious question. Either way this is goofy as hell.

[Toryll: even if they did, this over-the-top reaction removes any agency for the reader to react to the alleged “joke”.]

Yeah, it’s worse than a damn laugh-track.
Oh, but it gets worse. Saphira gets the hiccups, and this is also supposed to be funny. You can tell because now Eragon starts crying with laughter. And I start cringing myself to death. This scene goes on and on, growing steadily less funny by the minute. Eragon sure is easily amused. This is the sort of thing a three year old would crack up at. I feel like Paolini is flashing up a big neon sign. THIS IS FUNNY. LAUGH NOW. FUNNY. LAUGH NOW. Flash, flash, flash.

[Caption: Red cans with open mouths and text 'Canned Laughter' on them.]

[Toryll: Reading this is like being the only sober person in a room full of falling-over drunks. Awkward, painfully unfunny, and really just annoying and frustrating.]

Can reptiles even get hiccups? It just occurred to me to wonder.

Mercifully, Eragon finally says they should get going and then “eagerly” climbs on her back, which still vaguely creeps me out. Saphira heads off, and we’re informed that they’re both “happy”.

[Toryll: told, not shown. Of course.]

Aww. Somebody fetch the insulin.

Next up is doomotter with Ascension. And then the boring dwarf election subplot will finally be over and we can move onto the next boring subplot.

Happy Christmas, everyone! Here’s hoping every author who writes saccharine bullshit like this wakes up with plenty of coal in their stocking tomorrow. The rest of us, meanwhile, can PAR-TAY!
(Note: Jewish and other non-Christmas-celebrating members of the comm. are welcome to join in. Everybody's invited!)

[Caption: Picture of Pinkie Pie celebrating with text 'Lets all get drunk']

26 comments

[1]

cmdrnemo
December 25 2017, 11:12:45
I want to defend video game RPG protagonists. My Darth Revan, Commander Sheppard, and Inquisitor Lavellan were all absolutely dripping with personality. As was the dragon born and to a lesser extent the grey warden. They didn't feel it quite as much because by the time I played them I expected fully voiced PCs. Come to think of it. My Sith Inquisitor also had a great personality. Bioware gives some pretty solid dialogue options. Oh, and the wizard from Diablo 3. That may be my all time favourite fantasy character. Li Ming is on point.

The thing about comedy. It's all about the timing. Even in written work. You need to be able to hit the beats. The quick build up. The followed by a solid punch. A stream of easy words followed by something it takes a moment to grok. Purely written work makes comedy even harder. You can't control the speed the reader is going at. There's no tone to play with. You just have to throw things out there and hope. But, there is a great way to ruin it: scenery descriptions. Make them sit there for hours pouring over details unending. Let the mind drift into that semi hypnotized unfocused state. Then hit them with a not witty comment. Pure fail, every time.

Off topic, like I ever had a topic. Shouts are a great thing to give Eragon. Sad as it is that Paolini would never think to make them awkward. Never give his characters an uncool moment. If the characters don't look good at all times how could anyone grow to like them? But, I can at least imagine him trying to get the waiter's attention and accidentally Fus Ro Dahing the dining hall of a dwarven castle. And that is at least slightly funny.

[2]

ghostwyvern
December 25 2017, 12:25:41
Like Cmdrnemo, I feel you're doing video games a disservice by declaring that they're on par with Eragon as far as character development. I've seen lots of games with more characterization and development than Eragon gets. Mostly not in the protagonist (sorry, going to have to disagree about Commander Shepard and Inquisitor Lavellan, in this case--though Lavellan surely has grown some after the end of the Trespasser DLC!), but in the supporting cast. Bioware is definitely a good example for this. But there are other games, such as Pillars of Eternity, Divinity Original Sin, etc. that offer similar opportunities for story and character growth.

tl;dr Not all games have poor writing.

[3]

theepistler
December 25 2017, 13:26:13
I meant those RPGs where the protagonist doesn't have a personality and is just a stand-in for the player, obviously. Which is exactly how Eragon (and Bella Swan) is written - as a stand-in for Paoini's personal fantasies rather than a human being. That's why he's so detached and emotionless and doesn't care about other people - because on some level he's aware that none of them are real and therefore don't actually matter. When you're playing an RPG you can be as much of a rude murderous dick as you like and you don't feel about it because you know you're not doing it to real people and won't suffer any real-world consequences. Eragon is the same.

[4]

thegharialguy
December 25 2017, 23:48:30
To hop back on the "Everything was better in Eragon" train. He did actually think about Roran in the first book sometimes. Up to and including scurrying him the first time he ever tests out the ability. And this is when he has even less reason to worry mind you. Also I'm not sure it's too Paolini's benefit to remind us how contrived Eragon's capture (and escape) in the first book was. It was fine at the time when you're reading it, but put any sort of thought into it after the fact and nothing makes sense.

The importance of Fairytale New York in Ireland cannot be overstated. Good to see it getting its dues abroad.

[4A]

theepistler
December 26 2017, 10:42:08
Yeah, Eragon was so much more human and fallible in the first book. He wasn't likeable because he whined constantly and acted like an idiot, but at least he wasn't perfect. All that changed in Eldest when Paolini wrote himself into a corner and resorted to a ridiculous Deus Ex Machina to get himself out of it. After that Eragon was never relateable again. The original Eragon would have been appalled by the idea of slaughtering hundreds of people in cold blood, but Eldest Eragon is completely fine with it. It's as if Paolini got rid of the original character and replaced him with someone else. (And then he did the same with Roran, replacing him with an arrogant, violent piece of shit who acts like the world owes him a living).

The "Eragon gets captured" bit in the first book was so pointless. In the end it only really served to stretch an already overlong book out longer, and as you say it was stupidly contrived. You can tell when the author is forcing something because characters who would otherwise make a difference suddenly become entirely useless. In this case it was Saphira, who just sits there like an idiot when under normal circumstances she would have immediately attacked. This made her come across as pretty pathetic when she's supposed to be a fearsome dragon (tm).

The importance of Fairytale New York in Ireland cannot be overstated. Good to see it getting its dues abroad.

Agreed! It's one of my favourite songs of all time.

[4B]

torylltales
December 27 2017, 16:53:01 Edited: December 27 2017, 16:53:12
A clever writer could make the fact that Eragon seems to completely forget his friends and family after the Elfification Orgy-dance a sinister foreshadowing of the mind-controlling nature of the totalitarian elves with reference to the original Riders. Maybe Galbatorix is the only Rider who was able to break the enchantment and retain his own human mind, and that's why he (was able to) rebelled.

[4B1]

theepistler
December 27 2017, 19:43:26
Yeah, it was about that point when Eragon stopped giving a shit about anyone, wasn't it? Interesting...

[4B1A]

torylltales
December 27 2017, 21:02:59
It could have been a slow-burn psychological thriller sub-plot about Eragon gradually losing his humanity, memory of his human life, human thoughts and emotions, and finally his capacity for empathy for humans, and then in an unexpected twist it turns out only Galby can help him to regain himself. Only the slow process of becoming an elf makes it harder and harder to trust Galby, let alone listen to him.

That could have been a brilliant subversion, but perhaps a bit too dark and psych for the sequel to Eragon.

[4B1A1]

theepistler
December 28 2017, 10:31:27
That would have been awesome. Man, if I were Paolini reading this comm. I'd be incredibly embarrassed by how unimaginative everyone's making me look. Not that it's very hard, really.

[4B1A1A]

torylltales
December 28 2017, 12:11:52 Edited: December 28 2017, 12:15:23
It's not even all that original, I'm certain that theme/plot twist has been used before. The Pleasure Island bit in Pinocchio, for example. Oh, and the machine in Neverending Story 2 that steals a memory for each wish Bastian makes.

[4B1A1A1]

theepistler
December 28 2017, 13:04:58
Yeah, but at least then there might have been some semblance of actual conflict, sigh.

[4B1A2]

cmdrnemo
December 31 2017, 03:16:34
I have been playing around with a bit of fanfic for Eragon that does basically that. Except slightly darker because the dead dragons of the Shiny Kajigger are working to get revenge on elves and men.

[5]

snarkbotanya
January 3 2018, 07:19:23
They enveloped each other within the folds of their thoughts

Apparently their thoughts are Bad Erotica vaginas. Gives a whole new meaning to "mind rape", doesn't it?

Yeah, it’s worse than a damn laugh-track.

How NOT to Write a Novel actually has a name for this particular flavor of bullshit: "A Confederacy of Shills (wherein characters laugh disproportionately)". It's filed in the chapter about the three things you absolutely should not do if you can't do them well, those three things being sex scenes, jokes, and postmodernism.

[5A]

theepistler
January 3 2018, 11:27:00
Since when did thoughts have "folds", anyway? Describing something as abstract as a thought is tricky, and Paolini routinely fails at it by resorting to bizarre nonsensical metaphors like this one.

It's filed in the chapter about the three things you absolutely should not do if you can't do them well, those three things being sex scenes, jokes, and postmodernism.

Paolini tried to write a sex scene in Eldest, but mercifully, hardly anyone noticed. I wish he'd stop trying to be funny, too, because he's terrible at it. It's always either stupid slapstick or Angela randomness. Being "random" is not funny and is a good part of the reason why I keep wishing Angela would fall into an active volcano and die.

[5A1]

snarkbotanya
January 4 2018, 09:27:52
I could buy thoughts having "folds" if it were established that there's some kind of cloth- or paper-like sensation, but that itself would be quite tricky to do correctly. Paolini really shot himself in the foot by trying to describe telepathy in his purple prose. Not only does it show that he's got a tendency towards bizarre metaphors, but the fact that he overdescribes it like this perfectly showcases that he doesn't give the reader enough credit to let them fill in certain details on their own. When he's vague, it's not to let the reader guess at something; it's because either he doesn't actually know the answer or he never realized there was a question in the first place. Both are likely a symptom of his tendency to rush to the next scene he finds "exciting".

Wait, there was an attempted sex scene in Eldest?

[5A1A]

theepistler
January 4 2018, 11:21:36 Edited: January 4 2018, 11:22:10
Wait, there was an attempted sex scene in Eldest?

I'm afraid so:

Wrapping his arms around his wool-stuffed pillow, Roran listened to
the faint sounds that drifted through the house at night: the scrabble of a
mouse in the attic and its intermittent squeaks, the groan of wood beams
cooling in the night, the whisper and caress of wind at the lintel of his
window, and... and the rustle of slippers in the hall outside his room.
He watched as the latch above the doorknob was pulled free of its
hook, then the door inched forward with a rasp of protest. It paused. A
dark form slipped inside, the door closed, and Roran felt a curtain of hair
brush his face along with lips like rose petals. He sighed.
Katrina.
~Eldest, page 184

Cut to next morning and they're naked in bed together.

Lips like rose petals - snicker.

[5A1A1]

snarkbotanya
January 4 2018, 11:58:36
I will admit to skimming the Roran sections a bit on my first readthrough as a preteen. I wanted to get to the fight scenes and had no use for the stupid village romance bullshit. I'm kinda surprised I didn't catch this on a later look, though... I guess it just got lost in the Sea of Irrelevant Detail.

lips like rose petals

This just confirms what I've always said about why we don't want an honest-to-Priapus sex scene in a Paolini book: because he would use all the terrible erotica tropes. The vagina would be "velvet folds" or "open petals" and the penis would be a "throbbing manhood". Blech.

[5A1A1A]

theepistler
January 4 2018, 20:28:41
To be fair, I also missed it. It's pretty easy to overlook.

Paolini has said the Galactic Brick is aimed more for an adult audience. Wanna bet whether he tried to put an actual non fade-to-black sex scene in there?

...Oh GOD I hope it doesn't involve tentacles. D:

[5A1A1A1]

snarkbotanya
January 4 2018, 22:12:44
Hays Code sex scenes are usually easy to overlook in non-romance novels.

Paolini has said the Galactic Brick is aimed more for an adult audience. Wanna bet whether he tried to put an actual non fade-to-black sex scene in there?

That's a tough one... I really wouldn't put it past him to do that, though, seeing as the man(child) obviously doesn't know his limits. I'd like to think he's improved since the Inheribricks, but considering how the cycle generally showed a downward trend in quality, I'm not optimistic.

...Oh GOD I hope it doesn't involve tentacles. D:

I'll stock up on Brain Bleach just in case.

[5A1A1A1A]

theepistler
January 4 2018, 23:27:14
Hays Code sex scenes are usually easy to overlook in non-romance novels.

True. To be fair I've written more than one of them myself, and I can't really fault Paolini for using a fade-to-black. He was writing for a YA audience after all - a full-blown sex scene definitely wouldn't have made it past the censors.

I can however criticise the mention of "slippers" right before this scene. According to my quick 'n' dirty google search, medieval peasants would NOT have worn slippers of any sort. 16th century dandies, maybe. Subsistence farmers, no.

I'll stock up on Brain Bleach just in case.

I don't think our collective sanity could survive a Paolini sex scene. D:

[5A1A1A1A1]

snarkbotanya
January 5 2018, 07:32:41
I generally don't write sex scenes either. I have tried writing them just to experiment, and I really don't think the results are all that good, so none of that in a work I want published. I'm not sure whether my novel-in-progress qualifies as YA, but regardless, there won't be any sex scenes.

I don't think our collective sanity could survive a Paolini sex scene.

I dunno, I'm already pretty low on sanity, and that seems to have given me some degree of resistance. I'll need Brain Bleach, but I could probably survive it through sheer Trainwreck Syndrome.

[5A1A1A1A1A]

theepistler
January 5 2018, 09:51:18
Yeah, I generally avoid sex scenes myself. I'm not good at it and it always feels like I'm intruding on my characters' privacy! Plus what does it really add to the story anyway?

I dunno, I'm already pretty low on sanity, and that seems to have given me some degree of resistance. I'll need Brain Bleach, but I could probably survive it through sheer Trainwreck Syndrome.

I could probably handle it. I survived TBV and both its sequels, after all. *gibbers*

[5A1A1A1A1A1]

snarkbotanya
January 5 2018, 10:11:13
Nothing, really. I mean, maybe a character mentions something during pillow talk afterwards that impacts the plot, but still... I'd rather have that plot point discovered some way that doesn't involve feeling like a leering voyeur.

I survived Breaking Dawn and Gloria Tesch's attempt at a rape scene in Maradonia and the Law of Blood. I can survive a Paolini sex scene.

[5A1A1A1A1A1A]

theepistler
January 5 2018, 10:15:20
You survived my descriptions of the TBV shenanigans as well, don't forget. ;-)

[5A1A1A1A1A1A1]

snarkbotanya
January 5 2018, 10:18:30
True... those did get pretty WTF. Got some awesome CAH cards out of 'em, though.

[5A1A1A1A1A1A1A]

theepistler
January 5 2018, 10:29:32
I noticed. XD