Inheritance Group Spork: Chapter Three

[pangolin20]

Kyogre wrote in antishurtugal, 2011-11-21 02:24:00

The Official Inheritance Spork, Part 3: Shadows on the Horizon

Hello, hello, everyone.

Welcome to chapter 3 of Inheritance: SHADOWS ON THE HORIZON.

Last time, Eragon rushed through the castle of Belatona to reach Roran, who had miraculously survived having part of the keep collapse on him. However, upon seeing his cousin, Roran proceeded to pass out.

Now, I’ll give credit where it’s due, so far this book is a lot better than the other three. Stuff makes no sense, the thing with the spear is lame, but it’s moving along pretty well. Compare to, say, the first book (how many chapters did it take for Saphira to hatch and then grow?) or Eldest.

There’s also a great deal less purple prose. But the style is still a little weird in places. For example, the first paragraph of this chapter:

In order to catch Roran before he struck the floor, Eragon had to drop Brisingr, which he was reluctant to do. Nevertheless, he opened his hand, and the sword clattered against the stones even as Roran’s weight settled into his arms.

There’s nothing technically wrong, but the way the two sentences are structured makes a weird break in what should be a single fluid motion. It also seems like Eragon hesitated when he really didn’t have time to do so. (Also, hesitating about dropping your sword to catch your cousin? Not cool. Especially not when you’re such a killing machine that you don’t need a sword anyway.)

Arya and Blodhgarm have somehow managed to keep up with Eragon’s mad dash, but he only notices them now.

Eragon also breaks radio silence to tell Saphira that Roran is okay, which is just weird. For one, since when does Saphira care that much about Roran? For another, is it really worth risking a mental assault for? Seems like a weird set of priorities, especially since Paolini made such a big deal of not being able to contact Saphira in the first chapter. It’s not like he needs anything from her.

Roran is the only survivor, because he was shielded by plot armor, I mean, the eaves. Fortunately, he is mostly unhurt, except his wrist is broken.

Eragon cast a meaningful glance at Blödhgarm. The elf’s features tightened with a faint display of
displeasure, but he went over to Roran.

I’m not sure why Blodhgarm is so reluctant. I guess it might be because elves look down on humans. Honestly, I don’t see why Eragon didn’t do it himself. He’s a competent healer, I think.

With some pretty lame dialogue (“I’ve about had my fill of this Lord Bradburn. He has held his seat overlong, I think, and ought to be relieved of his responsibilities. Wouldn’t you agree? ... I would give him a few gentle taps from my hammer in memory of everyone we have lost today.”), they set out to finally capture the lord of the town.

Of course, everyone that Eragon saw during his mad rush has cleared out. There’s some searching, where for some reason, they pause on every floor to let Blodhgarm search with his mind. Now, my question is, why does Blodgharm need to be on a floor to radar it? Couldn’t he have searched all the floors while they were in the courtyard?

They finally run into resistance on the stairway up to the third floor, in form of a “thicket of jabbing spears.” I instantly thought of the movie 300, when they made a wall of shields with spears sticking out. Mm-hm.

Roran (for some reason leading, despite being the weakest and slowest member; actually, maybe he was the only one who didn’t get out the way, in which case it’s kind of dick move from the others to let him get hurt) runs into the spears and gets injured.

Instead of falling back, he rams his shield into the spears, trying to push them back. (…) Remember, Roran is an ordinary human, with ordinary human strength. He’s also at an elevation disadvantage, on the stairs below the spearmen. I’m not that great at combat things, but this seems like a strange move on his part.

Eragon is able to just pluck one of the spears out of the hands of the enemy soldiers and throw it back. Well, Eragon is some sort of dragon-powered elf mutant with extreme protagonist power, so I guess it’s not too out there. He continues to do this until the defensive formation is broken.

Then they clean up the remaining the soldiers. Odd point: Roran hits a soldier’s helmet, causing it to ring. Now, I personally think that the head is a very strange target to go for with a hammer, being small and high up. Also, how would a helmet full of head ring? The sound should be too muffled. And I imagine Roran’s hand would also vibrate rather uncomfortably after that.

Eragon, Arya and Blodhgarm score many more kills, meanwhile. Because they are elf-things and better than you.

Eragon is also totally getting off on combat. It gives him “a sense of clarity unequaled by any other activity.”

They finish, and Eragon offers to heal Roran before moving on. (Why is Eragon back on healing duty?) Roran refuses. Honestly, I don’t see why. We have no indication that Eragon is low on MP, and the wounds appear to be reasonably light. Letting them go unhealed may be lead to a disadvantage if they run into more resistance.

They finally find Lord Bradburn in the highest room of the westernmost tower. I have to wonder, did they try the westernmost tower on the first try, or did they go up the easternmost one first? This is why just a mental search of the whole place to start with would have been better. Anyway, Eragon, Arya, and Blödhgarm break in.

To Eragon’s relief, he only had to kill three of the guards before the rest of the group placed their weapons and shields on the floor in surrender.

I guess one-sided massacre is not the kind of combat Eragon enjoys.

Bradburn refuses to order his troops to stand down. He’s racist, sees elves as “filthy, unnatural creatures” and Urgals as monsters. (You know how he was supposed to be important, according to those “future facts about Inheritance” Paolini released long ago? Yeah, no. This is all we see of him. The most important part is the contents of his armory.)

Arya instead takes control of his mind and figures out what wards he’s using. (What happened to elves’ minds being dangerous for humans? I mean, she’s probably driving him insane just from this.)

She puts him to sleep, though the guards think she killed him. (If you stretch it quite a bit, this is the start of a long plot thread about how humans distrust other races and how everyone needs to learn to cooperate. Maybe.)

As Eragon attempted to convince them otherwise, he heard one of the Varden’s trumpets being winded far off in the distance.

Saved by the bell. (I actually want to know how crowd control would have gone, given that none of those four are exactly good with people… except maybe Roran. Maybe.)

(Wait, trumpets can get “winded?” How?!)

Arya and Eragon look for the cause of the trumpets and the cheering. We get description of Belatona, “a large, prosperous city, one of the largest in the Empire.” Then, the Varden camp. Notably: “stretched out on the bare ground, hundreds of wounded men.” A thunderstorm is moving in. (None of this is in any way relevant later on.)

Eragon yells down to the courtyard (three stories up, over all the happy noise; nice lungs).

“Shadeslayer! Look! The werecats are coming! The werecats are coming!”

First, geographical. The lake is to the north. Most of Belatona is to the south and the west, the Varden camp further out, the rain even further. In the east is the Jiet River (“Jiet river,” the river not capitalized). The cats are coming from the other side of that river. Something about this seems very odd to me. Very, very odd. Maybe the idea of cats wanting to cross a river. (Wouldn’t it have made more sense for them to have snuck into the city and camp individually, only to emerge from the shadows right next to the Varden?)

Now, two points.

One. Eragon has magic eagle/elf eyes, so he can see cats miles away on the other side of the river. (And also consider, this is a pretty major river, flowing either into or out of a lake. It’s bound to be pretty wide.) But why can the Varden see them well enough to point them out? And identify them? And for that matter, shouldn’t they have better things to do with their time?

Second. Since when are werecats famous enough (and major fighters enough) to warrant this kind of reaction from ordinary human troops? We’ve seen exactly two werecats in three books, one of them with the elves, one with Angela. How likely are ordinary humans to know about this species? They looks like cats most of the time and don’t like talking to people. Sure, Solembum changes into human form to fight, but still. And for that matter, I never got the impression that werecats are particularly powerful. Mystical, with special powers and tricks, useful spies and saboteurs, but not powerful.

Well, in any case, that’s it for chapter 3. I’d say this wasn’t a particularly bad chapter, by Paolini standards. Overall, it’s basically transition from “Roran’s okay!” to “We’ve finished capturing Belatona” to “The werecats are coming!” It’s… necessary, I suppose. There are going to be some chapters that are just kind of slow. I understand that. Really.

But it’s still pretty bad.

37 comments

[1]

torylltales
November 21 2011, 12:02:31 UTC
I think Paolini's taking a leaf out of Gloria Tesch's books by having chapters that add nothing and are only a few pages each. Might be how he managed to stuff seventy of them in there.

Am I the only one who wondered if the guy yelling about the werecats was named Paul Revere, or something similar? I'm not even an American and I know that catch-phrase. "The werecats are coming! The werecats are coming!", really.

What's next, Roran's big speech about how We Will Fight Them On The Beaches?

[1A]

distinctvaguens
November 21 2011, 15:01:38 UTC
I actually thought the phrase was an obtuse reference to The Lord of the Rings and the way the Eagles arrival was announced. But in both occasions in the books AND in your case, there was a reason to proclaim the news frantically. In this case, not so much. As ana0119 points out it already doesn't even make sense on a few levels besides.

[1B]

mage_apprentice
November 21 2011, 15:42:11 UTC
You're not the only one who was thinking "The redcoats are coming! The redcoats are coming!" from that line. Though, it's more likely that Paolini got that from "The eagles are coming! The eagles are coming!" from Lord of the Rings.

How about Roran telling the soldiers not to stab until you see the whites of their eyes?

[1B1]

torylltales
November 21 2011, 19:39:08 UTC
Roran's "I Had A Speculation" is still one of Alagaesia's most inspiring speeches, just short of his Gettëyšbērgħ Address.

[1B1A]

charlottehywd
November 23 2011, 20:50:51 UTC
This is fantastic.

So, is the main pro-Varden book called "The Tome of Khommeian Sehnsse" then?

[1C]

predak123
November 21 2011, 22:01:10 UTC
I thought it was either an allusion to Tolkien's eagles in The Hobbit, or a redcoats/Russians are coming line.

[1C1]

silverphoenixx
November 22 2011, 04:53:16 UTC
"the eagles are coming!" was what I thought of as soon as I read that, too. It's more likely taken from Tolkien than a reference to Paul Revere, considering all the "borrowing" Paolini has already done from Middle Earth.

[2]

mage_apprentice
November 21 2011, 15:37:53 UTC
It gives him “a sense of clarity unequaled by any other activity.”
There are actually accounts from soldiers, especially Civil War soldiers, who would rather go to battle than stay at camp. The reason for this is because the soldiers have to keep focused on their single task during battle and it keeps them calm rather than staying at camp where they're given time to think about all the death and destruction that's happening in battle.
Eragon, however, feels no remorse for killing enemy soldiers so it's perfectly okay to call him a blood-thirsty monster. :D

Wouldn’t it have made more sense for them to have snuck into the city and camp individually, only to emerge from the shadows right next to the Varden?
That would make more sense and be pretty cool, but Paolini goes for what is stereotypically cool.

Chapter 4 isn't ready quite yet, but I'll get it posted soon.

[2A]

ana0119
November 21 2011, 22:34:50 UTC
You know, I've heard that too, but I don't think saying that "combat exhilarates" your hero is a good idea, especially if the sentence before described how he killed soldiers by way of severed limbs(!!).

Work, spork-slave! Work!

[2A1]

mage_apprentice
November 21 2011, 22:38:06 UTC
Good point.

Uuuggghhh! I'm working! I'm worki--ooohh! TV Tropes!

[2A1A]

jair_greycoat
November 21 2011, 23:14:56 UTC
Quick! Someone drag mage_apprentice away from the web-browser!

[3]
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[3A]

jair_greycoat
November 21 2011, 17:51:28 UTC
I do not think there is any innuendo in that sentence. If a sentence like that can be objectively proved to have it, then epic fantasy would hardly be the only genre to be guilty.

[3A1]
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[3A1A]

mage_apprentice
November 21 2011, 19:18:03 UTC
Judging from this, then you must have a ball with Shakespeare. Accidental as well as limitless purposeful innuendos all throughout every single play.

[3A1A1]

jair_greycoat
November 21 2011, 20:18:16 UTC
Or maybe Shakespeare was just using the language of his day and it was perfectly acceptable. (I would that someone could actually quote him doing it on purpose. . . I can’t think of any.)

[3A1A1A]

mage_apprentice
November 21 2011, 20:34:32 UTC
Much Ado About Nothing

"Nothing" was slang for vagina and gossip in Shakespeare's day. Guess what the play is about.

[3A1A1A1]

jair_greycoat
November 21 2011, 20:43:20 UTC
Ugh. My opinion of Shakespeare just turned black. He is now OUT of my mind. I’ll just stick to the retold versions of his plays.

[3A1A1A1A]

mage_apprentice
November 21 2011, 20:47:14 UTC
Come on. Some of his dirty jokes are just a side thing compared to the overall play. Much Ado About Nothing is more like a naughty comedy. Perhaps you'd like his more serious works (which Hamlet, as a true tragedy, still his despite the occasional dirty pun) instead of something like A Midsummer Night's Dream.

[3A1A1A1A1]

jair_greycoat
November 21 2011, 21:07:57 UTC
Yes, I know. It just really surprised me. The only thing I can think of is that after reading certain plays of his, my mind must have automatically deleted the dirty data from memory in order to protect itself. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. I certainly won’t be assuming he used acceptable language anymore, at the very least.

[3A1A1A1A1A]

mage_apprentice
November 21 2011, 21:11:02 UTC
Shakespeare is well-known for his wordplay. He invented a good number of words in the English language. If it's dirty, Shakespeare can slip it in without anyone the wiser.

[3A1A1A1A1A1]

jair_greycoat
November 21 2011, 21:22:50 UTC
I’m starting to wonder what kind of person it would take to want to do that.

[3A1A1A1A1A1A]

predak123
November 21 2011, 22:06:08 UTC
To make dirty jokes? . . .a funny person? ;)

Really, though, Shakespeare made loads of dirty jokes. I personally find them hilarious for the most part.

[3A1A1A1A1A1A1]

distinctvaguens
November 22 2011, 02:53:51 UTC
Oh yeah there's plenty of course jokes and innuendo in Shakespeare. It just normally goes over our heads. I remember Romeo's friend saying nearly nothing but innuendos.

[3A1A1A1A1A1A1A]

predak123
November 22 2011, 03:08:23 UTC
I remember in high school I had a Shakespeare class where we read several of his plays. Half of the class would give me funny looks when I would start giggling immaturely at something and they hadn't figured it out yet. XD

[4]

unboxed_project
November 21 2011, 17:06:47 UTC
I'm now seeing the werecats as the characters from Cats the musical. It... helps, oddly enough. They're pretty stylin', now.

I may just start randomly assigning musical characters to other species, as well. The Varden are the students from Les Miz, the elves all have Phantom masks, and Eragon is dressed as Christine Daae.

*is ridiculously pleased with how entertaining this all is*

[4A]

predak123
November 22 2011, 03:09:45 UTC
. . .I'm picturing Eragon singing "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" at Brom's tomb.

Status: Amused. ^_^

[4A1]

unboxed_project
November 22 2011, 05:15:54 UTC
See?! It makes perfect sense!

[4B]

charlottehywd
November 23 2011, 20:55:27 UTC
I really hope that the King of Cats is named "McCavity" (or however it is spelled).

So, what are all of the "bad guys", then?

[5]

jair_greycoat
November 21 2011, 17:48:52 UTC
(Wait, trumpets can get “winded?” How?!)

I believe he is using it correctly here. I think it’s archaic English, and means that the horns were being blown upon.

[6]
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[6A]

lady_licht
November 21 2011, 21:40:04 UTC
Similar here.
"blöd" means "stupid" in German. How can anyone expect me to read this name without giggling?!

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[6A1A]

lady_licht
November 21 2011, 22:25:11 UTC
Perfect! XD

[6A1A1]

predak123
November 22 2011, 03:11:39 UTC
I obviously need to pick up some Scandinavian and Germanic languages. XD

[6]

swankivy
November 22 2011, 15:01:02 UTC
In my essay I say the same thing about the mental contact thing. Why does he "risk" it to tell Saphira that Roran's okay? (He could have told a lot of people if he needed to get the word out.) And then in the next chapter it's like he's talking mentally to her again and there doesn't seem to be any way by which they've determined it's safe.

Also, the sword dropping thing--I mentioned this too, but pointed out that it makes no sense that he HAS to drop his sword. If he can take stairs five at a time and punch a dude so he lands 30 feet away, shouldn't he be able to catch and support (not even having to CARRY) his cousin with ONE arm?

And the whole werecat thing is annoying when it leads into the next chapter. Paolini tries his best toanswer the very question you brought up--like "where the hell have they been all this time?"--with some of the worst SPOKEN exposition I've ever seen.

[6A]

ana0119
November 22 2011, 18:35:29 UTC
Honestly, I just don't remember this issue from the previous books. I always thought the "Rider-dragon" bond was too different to be "hacked" like that. Or that Saphira could totally own any human who tried to use her to get into her Rider's head.

For the sword, I figured it was a balance issue. He just emphasizes it too much. It should be a clause in an ongoing sentence, at most.

I don't even care where they there were. They're cats. They hid, somewhere. The bigger issue, to me, is why do people know and care about them. If they hid, they're not going to be common knowledge. And they're certainly nothing to get worked up about. They're cats. Good spies maybe, but as a fighting force?

[6A1]

swankivy
November 22 2011, 19:07:35 UTC
I'm not sure why he was worried about it being hijacked after an attack on his dragon. It seems very very silly to have him randomly worrying about something that has no precedent, only to have it peter out and just kinda get forgotten about.

Don't know why Eragon would have a balance issue catching Roran in one hand and holding Brisingr with the other. If he really did have to drop the sword, though, we don't need all that info. "Eragon dropped his sword and caught his cousin" is fine. If he has an after-effect of wincing at the thought of dropping his precious sword, fine, but the way he squeezes these inappropriate words into the action really bugs me.

And yes, with the werecats, it's not really so much where they were but why they want to join up with the Varden forces now after this fighting has been going for quite a long time and the cats just kinda let everyone else duke it out. So Paolini feels he has to make excuses for why now, of all times, the werecats are showing up to ally with the Varden. After all, he's got to make excuses and shove a bunch of exposition into Nasuada's speech, as she as-you-know-bobs the hell out of King Halfpaw.
"As you know, your people were like this and did this and some people don't even believe you exist, etc., hello, I'm a character in a fantasy novel talking to the readers so they understand this situation my author just made up and we can pretend there's history behind it." The werecats aren't just cats, though--they're dwarf size and can battle in their big forms, and they can also control regular cats.

[6A1A]

ana0119
November 22 2011, 19:25:38 UTC
One of the great advantages of written works is that you can exposition without having anyone say it, geez.

Still, the werecats are more tricksters than warriors. I just have trouble imagining them as the sort of raw power brawling force the dwarves or a dragon are.

(And what do you know, they end up used for spying.)

[7]

jamoche
November 23 2011, 21:31:35 UTC
Eragon had to drop Brisingr, which he was reluctant to do

In the hands of a better writer this would be an indication that the sword had some sort of influence over him - yes, the sword is powerful, but with that power comes a risk of losing control to it.

Here it just means he's afraid to scratch the shiny.

Eragon cast a meaningful glance at Blödhgarm. The elf’s features tightened with a faint display ofdispleasure, but he went over to Roran. I’m not sure why Blodhgarm is so reluctant.

"There are people out there seriously wounded and you want me to waste my time and effort over a minor wound just because he's pals with you. Twit."

[7A]

ana0119
November 23 2011, 23:34:43 UTC
"There are people out there seriously wounded and you want me to waste my time and effort over a minor wound just because he's pals with you. Twit."

I don't think that's it at all, though. Blodhgarm (and all the elves, really) doesn't seem to do much in the way of healing. We don't really see it, in any case. Also, all those wounded guys are out there, and Roran is here, behind enemy lines and they're about to go fighting their way through the keep. Healing him is a frankly natural decision.

And then there's the issue of how important Eragon is. Yeah, maybe Roran is getting special treatment because he's Eragon's cousin, but Eragon is basically the backbone of the Varden's war effort and the elves' object of adoration. Shouldn't they make some effort to keep him happy and mentally stable?