Inheritance Spork: Chapter Fifty-Two: And All The World A Dream

[pangolin20]

watersheerie wrote in Antishurtugal, 2012-10-30 19:33:00

MOOD: cold

Inheritance Spork: Chapter Fifty-Two: And All The World A Dream

Sorry for the delay, this was a rather...interesting chapter to spork.

I know that some of the fans like to claim that we ‘haters’ look for things to hate. Honestly, I feel that the opposite is the truth; we look for the good in these books. Really, I don’t think anyone started reading the Eragon books, thinking they were going to hate them. It’s just not our fault that these books are so terrible. But there are good points, and I’ve noticed that us ‘haters’ are willing to give points to CP when he deserves it. We are willing to see the good in these books when it is there, it’s the fans who are unwilling to see the bad.

Really, who thought that giant snails were a good idea?

Anywho, this chapter has some good potential in it, yet at the same time…well, let's get on with the spork.


Nasuaada is being tortured. Bad King Galbatorix is mind-raping her. He’s trying to break her mind by flooding it with shit that is obviously not real. Nasuaada is laughing, no really, the chapter begins with Nasuaada laughing her head off as Galby sends her on a bad acid trip.

When I said this chapter had potential, I meant it. The idea of the villain, The Villain of this story, trying to break someone’s mind is interesting and can be done well. Having one’s mind tampered with, while not a new idea, can be a very effective when done properly. Particularly when presented as a form of punishment or torture. It’s one thing to damage to body, but mental pain and the scars that are left behind are sometimes shown to be a worse fate.

On Deep Space Nine episode “Hard Time”, Chief O’Brien was falsely accused of espionage and the punishment consisted of a false memory being implanted in his mind. The memory was of a 20 year prison sentence that while fake, was extremely traumatic and left O’Brien paranoid and emotionally damaged. The course of the episode shows the deterioration and pain O’Brien suffers from this false memory, yes those 20 years never happened, but to O’Brien those 20 traumatic years were vivid and horrifyingly alive in his mind. Ultimately Captain Sisko has to temporarily relieve O’Brien of his duties so that he can recover.

This is a perfect example of how the idea of false memories and images can be used effectively as a means of punishment and torture. O’Brien’s mind had been broken by the memory implant, he suffered from it and we see his suffering and the effects of this false memory. To add to the impact of this episode is seeing the change in O’Brien himself. O’Brien was a major character on DS9, a favorite of mine in fact. We saw him at work, with his family, the friendship that grew between him and Dr. Bashir. We knew him as a character, a person, knew his personality and quirks. And so when we see the dramatic shift in personality, the change that comes over him within “Hard Time”, it really hits home how much this fake memory is hurting him.

And now we come to CP and how he handles this idea. See, the first problem here is the levity and lack of danger. For one thing, Ol’ Galby seems to be beaming obviously false images and memories into Nasuaada’s head. Why? I really can’t tell. I mean, he’s trying to confuse her, I guess. But I feel that what would be more confusing would be a memory that is close to be real. Make Nasuaada believe that she has escaped Galby’s clutches, show her images of her breaking out and going on to lead the Varden to victory, then living a happy and fulfilled life afterward. Then break her out of that memory, show her that it was false. Then try it again, in a different fashion. Have Nasuaada wake up back in the Varden camp, try and make her believe that her kidnapping and captivity with Galby was a bad dream.

These sorts of scenarios are remarkably effective because they have the potential to be true. Showing her drug-fueled dreamscapes might make her think that she’s gone insane. Showing her realities that are possible and then showing that they are false will make her doubt her sanity to begin with. She’ll begin to doubt whether she is within the dream world or reality, she’ll doubt her mind, her own memories. That is how you do it.

And CP does sort of attempt this. At one point Galby tries to trick Nasuada into thinking that she is in the future, having survived the war and now lives with Murtagh and their children, though at times she suffers ‘attacks.’ It’s a good attack on Galby’s part, it shows a possible future with Nasuada as someone whose mind can’t be trusted. This is a point in CP’s favor. Then we get a couple more illusions that had the potential to be true; a fellow captive named Rialla and a captured Eragon. However these latter illusions were ‘told’ rather than ‘shown’ and the effect is kind of lost as Nasuada recounts these events with no emotion whatsoever.

All of these illusions are also ruined in that Nasuada immediately figures out that they are illusions. See, we never see her genuinely doubt herself, she always knows that Galby is trying to trick her and none of it is real. So the whole point of the chapter, seeing Nasuada’s mind torture, fails because there really is no torture. She always figures out the illusion immediately, or shortly thereafter. The whole point of breaking a character’s mind with mental torture is to make them doubt their mind and sanity. To leave behind mental scars, rather than physical. But CP focuses on elaborate descriptions and Galby causing her pain, rather than doubt. Really, for a supposedly mastermind villain, Galby is quite stupid. You can cause her body pain in real life, that’s not the point of mental torture. And as the pain is an illusion, an obvious illusion, none of it truly hurts Nasuada. In fact at one point Nasuada talks about how ‘entertaining’ one of Galby’s illusions was.

It had been rather dashing and exciting, and she had been tempted to find out how the sequence of events would resolve itself, but by then he felt she had played along with Galbatorix’s false show for long enough. Pg. 528

The words of a woman being tortured.

Second problem is the character herself, and this is an issue that has started with the first book of this God-awful series. As I mentioned before part of the impact and awesome’ness of the DS9 episode centered around the character of O’Brien. We already knew him, we knew something was wrong; we saw the shift in personality and saw the change. It’s different with Nasuaada though. She, like all characters in the Inheritance Vomit-fest, is incomplete. A 2D, cardboard cutout. I really don’t know much about her, after four books the character of Nasuaada is sadly lacking. Thus her torture comes off as being almost cold and clinical. There is no attachment to the character, no warmth, no connection. We can’t relate to her and so her suffering has no impact.

And as I pointed out before, she isn’t really suffering to begin with. We get purple-prose saturated descriptions of her torture, of the dreamscapes she wanders through, and none if it hits an emotional chord. It’s all description and embellishment, like CP is covering what should be a raw, emotional torture scene with a three foot layer of sugary frosting. There is no real emotion; sure we get melodramatic descriptions of THE PAIN. But of emotion? Well, look at the beginning of the chapter. She’s fucking laughing. Even Nasuaada doesn’t take this seriously and it makes me not want to take this whole situation seriously as well.

And still she laughed. Pg. 522

Watching them crawl toward her, Nasuaada began to chuckle Is this all he can think of? I have stranger dreams nearly every night. Pg. 523

She laughed again. Now Galbatorix was just trying to punish her. Pg. 526

I mean, really? She spends almost the entire chapter laughing. I get that CP is trying to show how brave she is (cue Nala “I laugh in the face of danger.”). But at the same time, there is no sense of danger, or suffering for that matter. This relates to a well-known problem of CP in that he’s afraid to truly hurt his characters, at least permanently. Eragon’s scar is removed completely, Arya’s marks of torture vanish and she was able to conveniently prevent rape from happening. Now Nasuada gets a pass in that her torture isn’t really torture. She will have no scars from this, either emotional or physical. Nothing will really affect her character here, this chapter might as well not exist as it has no impact on the character or story. Really, the only person who sort gets some character development is Murtagh, as we see him risking his life to help Nasuada. And I almost feel as if this is an accident, as this chapter is supposed to be about Nasuada, not Murtagh.

The almost whimsical chapter title doesn’t help either. It seems to be a more fitting title for a nursery rhyme rather than a torture chapter.

There really isn’t much more to add here. This chapter just disappoints me and these books disappoint me. I think that deep down; CP does have some writing talent. You see it in these bits and flashes throughout the books, moments when you think that ‘hey, this kid isn’t so bad after all.’ But then he ruins it, drowns it in purple prose and filler, chokes it death with thesaurus abuse and poor character development. If I could sum up this series with one word it would be ‘disappointment.’ This chapter had potential, it had a chance, and it flopped. We could have had a moment like in DS9 “Hard Time.” The moment where we see O’Brien breaking down, at the edge of his sanity, screaming out in pain and confusion at his best friend, Bashir;

“I’m not your friend! The O’Brien that was your friend died in that cell!”

Instead we get this;

She started to laugh again, and she continued to laugh even as Galbatorix forced her to confront horror after horror in an attempt to find the particular combination of pain and fear that would break her. She laughed because she knew her will was stronger than his imagination… Pg. 531

One person suffered from genuine torture and pain, the other didn’t. Can you guess which?

30 comments

[1]

ana0119
October 31 2012, 01:53:05 UTC
I suppose he was going for a "laughing mad" impression. But that's only effective if it comes after a period of struggle, so we can see the character try and try only to be unable to try any longer and just let go.

Honestly, calling Nasuada 2-D is giving her too much credit. A flat character has actual characteristics; they're just all very simple and unvaried (i.e. a loud, boisterous character who never stops being loud and boisterous and never experiences any doubts). Nasuada doesn't even have clear characteristics. You would be hard pressed to decide when and if she's out of character because she has no character.

[2]

rhyson
October 31 2012, 03:24:03 UTC
And little does Paolini realize that he neutered his villain. Along with turning the leader of the Varden into a tickle-me-Elmo.

Whoops. :P

[2A]

watersheerie
October 31 2012, 11:55:27 UTC
Tickle-Me-Elmo would probably be a more effective leader of the Varden.

[2A1]

rhyson
October 31 2012, 16:12:24 UTC
Yeah, probably would have done a darn, good job of keeping the morale up. :)

[3]

venusrain
October 31 2012, 04:11:28 UTC
...I would have thought that after all that she would start to think that EVERYTHING is one of Galby's illusions, but nooooooooo. Gotta make everything BORING. <(-A- )>

This chapter is so weird (and this is coming from someone who made a millenia-old bipedal moth adorable).

[4]

predak123
October 31 2012, 08:11:04 UTC
This was very well written and you not only referenced The Lion King, you also spent a lot of time talking about Deep Space Nine. Awesomesauce! *fistbump*

[4A]

watersheerie
October 31 2012, 11:51:10 UTC
Thanks.

Hell yeah, Star Trek is my obsession. Never got to see all of DS9, but the Dominion War story arc is so powerful, and the characters are simply amazing. Definitely an under-rated show in the Trek-verse.

[4A1]

predak123
November 1 2012, 04:07:38 UTC
Are you able to get Netflix? It has the entire show. I marathon-watched it last year, and just. . . wow. I loved it. I think it didn't get much attention because it was running at the same time as Voyager, but DS9 is definitely the superior show. O'Brien is also my favorite. :D

I <3 DS9. Heck, I dressed as Jadzia Dax as my costume today. My spots seemed to go over well with people. XD

[4B]

angel_renoir
November 1 2012, 06:26:47 UTC
Lion King? Where? I didn't catch the reference.

[4B1]

predak123
November 1 2012, 08:35:26 UTC
"(cue Nala “I laugh in the face of danger.”)"

[5]

torylltales
October 31 2012, 09:55:14 UTC
Excellent spork, very well written and thorough. I like the way you used examples and examined the scene in detail. You've definitely done justice to this very sporkable chapter.

[5A]

watersheerie
October 31 2012, 11:52:32 UTC
Thank you much :D

[6]

amanda_sheree
October 31 2012, 09:58:59 UTC
I was nodding in agreement throughout this article. I haven't read the third and fourth books, but your introduction got my attention, and there really was so much potential with this bit of story. Your examples from the other stories were so powerful; I was cringing for the guy, even based only on the bits you posted.

I do think and agree that Paolini did want to show Nasuada was strong, but it's cheapened because she never really suffered, at least mentally and emotionally. There were no lingering effects.

It sounds like there was so much potential. I think you're spot-on when you say he was afraid to hurt his characters. I can relate to that, because it can be hard to let characters suffer, but then they're stripped of growth and sometimes humanity.

[6A]

watersheerie
October 31 2012, 11:54:36 UTC
Thanks.

It's kinda a pet peeve of mine, reading stories where you know that the author is sheltering them. Meyer is a prime culprit. LKH has flat out said that she will never kill off anyone who is close to the main character.

It's not just the missed opportunity for growth and humanity, but it also diminishes the desire to read such a story when you basically know how it will end and know that you don't have to fear for the characters. They will never suffer or die, so why care?

[6A1]

amanda_sheree
October 31 2012, 17:30:40 UTC Edited: October 31 2012, 18:04:13 UTC
Yeah; that's another good point. It pretty much kills any tension and suspense, too.

Edited because I missed capitalizing "It."

[7]

emrlddragon
October 31 2012, 12:59:28 UTC
I can see how her laughing could work. I mean, if she knows she is being tortured, she hasn't got anyway to fight back, so she laughs no matter what. But like you said, this has to be coupled with the real consequences of that torture, even if she refuses to show it to Galby.

*whistles "Giggle at the Ghosties"*

[7A]

syntinen_laulu
October 31 2012, 21:14:55 UTC
Or laughing in a mad or hysterical way because she's on the edge of losing it.

[7A1]

emrlddragon
November 1 2012, 13:36:35 UTC
I think Paolini was trying to make Nasuada sound brave though.

[8]

mage_apprentice
October 31 2012, 17:15:49 UTC
It really does scream out that Paolini just wants the coolness of torture without getting into nitty gritty consequences, that or he has no clue what torture does to a person.

Would anyone mind if I tried my hand at this with my own OCs?

[8A]

predak123
November 1 2012, 04:24:53 UTC
"Would anyone mind if I tried my hand at this with my own OCs?"

Torture in a book isn't exactly unique, so I don't see why not.

[8A1]

mage_apprentice
November 1 2012, 04:46:45 UTC
I actually mean write a small snippet of what I want to do on the thread. ^^;

[8A1A]

predak123
November 1 2012, 08:43:24 UTC
Well, one of the points the OP was making is that you can't see the effects of the torture without first knowing the character's nature; we don't really know much about Nasuada, which means any changes in her are not going to show up very well, whereas in DS9, we KNOW O'Brien, and so it's very shocking to see the changes. You can go ahead and write your thing if you'd like, but I don't think it'll mean much to us, since we don't know what your OPs are like, based on a small snippet.

So yeah, I think it'd be fine if you wanted to, but I think you're going to get a lot more out of it than any of us will.

[8A1A1]

mage_apprentice
November 1 2012, 18:14:35 UTC
Oh I get it now. Sorry. ^^;

[9]

angel_renoir
November 1 2012, 06:24:17 UTC
I was head-scratching during the "future with Murtagh and children" thing. Galby made those whacko memories, so... WHY MURTAGH OF ALL PEOPLE? Why not one of the Varden leaders? Why Murtagh? Is CP trying to "hint hint nudge nudge" the romance at us?

Unless what he gave was some kind of "mental imagination bait" and let her head fill up the blanks herself, implying that she's starting to have feelings for Murtagh. I didn't get the impression that it was Nasuada conjuring up the images herself, though. All I understand is that Galby is feeding her with all these crap, so that fails.

I agree that playing minds tricks could be great if done well. I remember reading a fanfiction where the character is living two realities. One is reality follows the canon, one is the AU. If she sleeps in one reality, she wakes in the other. As the story progressed, she was becoming more and more freaked out because she can't tell which one is a dream and which one is real. Sadly the story got abandoned by the author and i never knew why this is going on, but you get the idea.

[9A]

torylltales
November 1 2012, 08:05:15 UTC
The Matrix has you, Nasuada.

[9A1]

angel_renoir
November 1 2012, 12:31:37 UTC
*snerk* It wasn't an Eragon fanfic, actually. But LOL Matrix XD

[9B]

emrlddragon
November 1 2012, 13:44:20 UTC
And doesn't it also imply that Galby knows about their little affair. Which should make Nasuda paranoid about her trust in Murtagh, and whether or not she should be trying to protect him or if he is just screwing with her in a killing with kindness sort of way.

[9B1]

angel_renoir
November 1 2012, 14:02:31 UTC
Yep, that's true! If I were Nasuada I would wonder if Galby knows what Murtagh is doing and, if yes, whether or not I should tell Murtagh about it. And I would also wonder what would make Galby draw that conclusion and wonder if it was ME thinking up weird things and what would that mean.

I HATE THIS ROMANCE.

I ship Murtagh/Arya out of spite for canon. RAWR.

[9C]

Anonymous
November 9 2012, 22:42:04 UTC
And it makes even less sense when you realise that Galby isn't supposed to know that Murtagh is helping her. Unless he somehow knows, he should think that they;'re enemies.

[10]

adder_snake
November 13 2012, 13:58:39 UTC
Just a quick point. IF THE PERSON YOU ARE TORTURING IS LAUGHING, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!

This scene was like the terribly cliched torture scene out of some bad movie, where the hero doesn't break and just laughs as the villain does villain stuff *insert generic evil thing here*. That's probably where Paolini got his idea of torture from. Unfortunately...that's not how it goes. And since this is supposed to be a serious novel, this oh-so-tragic scene just made me lol.

Also, this just goes to show how not evil Galbatorix is. I mean, if the worst torture he's willing to inflict elicits laughter instead of screams, and he's allowing Murtagh to heal her (he MUST know, since apparently he knows what ever Murtagh does, and it's not like Paolini would contradict himself...wait...oh), anyway, the point I'm trying to make, is that he's treating her pretty humanely. I mean she gets fed, she can use the bathroom, she has padded manacles, he isn't torturing her enough to make her scream in agony...this seems like a pretty humane guy, especially considering that this is taking place in a Medieval-type world! This does not make me feel like Galbatorix is DA EVILZ!

So, faillll Paolini!