BattleAxe Sporking: Part Five
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theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-01-13 21:38:00
MOOD:
anxiousBattleAxe Sporking: Part Five
In the next chapter we return to Axis, who’s cranky because he doesn’t want to travel with a group of icky women. See? He really is a jock. While stomping around in a sulk he starts calling for “Belial”. You mean he’s trying to summon an ancient Hebrew demon? AWESOME!
Now this book is finally about to get interesting!
Now this book is finally about to get interesting!
Oh wait, “Belial” is just the name of his lieutenant. And no, he’s not any sort of demonic entity Man Was Not Meant To Wot Of. He’s just some guy. Why is he named after a Hebrew demon? Just ’cause. It doesn’t have any secret double meaning or anything; it’s just there for no reason, like all the other names that don’t fit the setting in the slightest.
Anyway so, Belial is a good guy who’s older than Axis but fiercely loyal, blah blah I don’t care, stop dictating at me, author. In case we were at risk of liking Axis, he’s rude and irritable at Belial and then continues to be rude and irritable when his friend-with-benefits, Embeth, shows up with an escort of other women.
Axis bitches about why there’s so many maids and retainers, and sneerily asks if she’s planning to teach his men needlework. He then adds that they’d better not all fall off their horses like a bunch of stupid wussy girly girls while they’re on the march.
See? I told you he was a complete and utter jackass. If this guy holds a high station in this society but is otherwise a lowly bastard, why the fuck did nobody teach him any manners? If he works for the Fantasy Pope, shouldn’t he have some idea of what diplomacy is? Because so far he’s mouthed off to literally everybody he’s spoken to in the entire book. And somehow he keeps getting away with it.
Well, when I say “somehow” I really mean “because he he has special Sue privileges”.
This charming little display of misogyny and rudeness somehow doesn’t bother Farady in the least, and she has a giggle instead, which Embeth joins. I guess that would imply that Embeth doesn’t have a problem with being spoken to like that either.
Borneheld actually shows he has better manners than his sainted brother, because he comes by to see Faraday off, which is a rather nice little gesture for him to make. Faraday brushes off his attempts at being pleasant, and continues to wangst about Axis. Unfortunately Axis returns at this point on his horse, Belaguez. Why does his horse have Spanish name? He just does. Naturally of course, Belaguez is a stallion. Real heroes never ride mares or geldings; that would be an affront to their masculinity.
Faraday is “mortified” (…because?), and we switch to Axis’ POV (STOP DOING THAT) as he recalls seeing Faraday at the banquet and feels sorry for her because Borneheld is patting her leg. He and Borneheld taunt each other like a couple of children, and then Borneheld mocks him for not getting a hot fiancee by using a stupid horse metaphor, saying he was lucky to get something this well-bred ifyouknowwhatImean.
Faraday reacts with a little display of Grrrl Power as she gets pissy at him and thinks “she was no mare to be passed between men at the highest price!”
Again – this is Fantasy Medieval Europe. Being sold off to a suitable husband who wants you because of your breeding is what happens to every nobleman’s daughter. The author is trying to make Faraday come across as a Strong Female Character by making the mistake of having her object to the social mores of her time even though she grew up with them and has nothing to compare them to, and therefore has no reason to have modern day Women’s Lib. ideas about getting to choose your husband. Marrying for love is a very modern idea, and it’s still considered foolish in some parts of the world, and in Medieval Europe a woman who sulked and threw tantrums about being married off to a rich guy would get very short shrift indeed. Shouldn’t Faraday already know all that?
Apparently not, because she “accidentally” startles her horse, which nearly knocks Borneheld over. Borneheld is fooled into thinking she’s just bad at keeping her horse under control, but Axis notices and in yet another POV switch he thinks about how “the girl ha[s] spirit”.
Yeah, douchy misogynistic guys often claim they like a girl “with spirit”. It doesn’t make them any less off-putting. In fact, isn’t “I like a girl with spirit” the cliché line
authors like to give to creepy rapists when the intended victim fights back?
I’m just sayin’.
Predictably he takes the opportunity to taunt Borneheld even more, so I guess now he and Faraday have something in common: they both like being mean to Borneheld and they both have the maturity of a thirteen-year-old.
Finally Axis calls on his Axe-Wielders, who chant back that they “follow his voice” (how did they all hear him anyway?), and off they go.
We’re now nine chapters into the book, by the way, and virtually nothing has happened. What is it with some fantasy authors having no ability to tell a story with any sort of efficiency? Shouldn’t the plot kick off in the first chapter rather than being hinted at for nine of them while the characters sit around exchanging dull dialogue?
In any case we’re now onto my least favourite part of any fantasy novel: Endless travelling! We’re with Embeth for the time being, and she gives us a boring description of just how many guys there are and how efficient they are at travelling as a group. Kitty has stowed away with them and keeps schmoozing up to Axis for some reason. Some of the other women moan about having to travel so fast and Embeth tells them they’re travelling at a “soldier’s pace” because it’s necessary. Oh goody, the old “prissy rich women have to deal with roughnecks and bitch about being deprived of their comforts” chestnut. Never seen that one before.
Finally they’re approached by none other than Timozel, and the POV jumps to Faraday without warning for a big infodump on what he looks like. All you really need to know is that he’s about 21 and rides a gelding. Hmm, only a gelding? I spy foreshadowing.
Timozel has come to pass on an invitation for the women to join Axis for dinner tonight, and the POV now jumps to him to exposit that Timozel knows Axis is knocking off his mum and isn’t happy about it. Is that more foreshadowing I spy? The POV jumps again to one of the noblewomen, and she accepts the invitation.
Seriously, there’s about three POV switches on one freaking page, most of them entirely unnecessary. Where the fuck was the editor?
Cut to Axis by his campfire. He greets Faraday and wonders if she’ll admit to her “ill-mannered stare” on the night of the banquet. 1) Why the hell would she, and 2) Since when was Axis in any position to judge other people for being rude?
Faraday greets him in return and addresses him as “Rivkahson”. The POV jumps to Embeth, who is aghast, and we get EVEN MORE FUCKING TELLING about how Axis is super duper sensitive about his parentage and how nobody ever refers to Rivkah as his mother, but Faraday just did the “impossible” by “gracefully” making Axis’ mother “a virtue rather than an embarrassment”.
Okay, one – how did she make it a virtue? She just called him “Rivkahson”. That’s not making it a virtue; it’s literally just stating that he’s Rivkah’s son. And two, how is it “impossible” or “graceful” to do that? For some reason I’m reminded of the ridiculous scene in Brisingr in which Roran promises Katrina a farm in Carvahall and everyone is all “gasp! Shock! He just staked his honour as a man and a husband on the downfall of the Empire!” like this is somehow a daring or impressive thing to do when he’s already fighting on the Varden’s side.
No. Just no. Roran is not daring or impressive, and Faraday isn’t brilliant with words, and I wish the author would stop telling me what to think about her annoying characters.
Another POV jump takes us to Axis, who is shaken up and can’t think of anything to say. Then we go back to Embeth one sentence later, and Faraday makes a little speech about how she’s heard Princess Rivkah was an amazing person and must have really loved and been proud of Axis, etc. Embeth is shocked and thinks Faraday is Totally Awesome, and then Faraday’s face lights up with a “beautiful smile” and Axis’ eyes “darken”. Embeth sees this and has an instant “uh-oh” moment and thinks she should do something ASAP to avert “the tragedy”. Boy is she thinking several plot points ahead. And apparently she’s psychic as well.
Embeth interrupts the, uh, romantic moment by suggesting that Axis play his harp for them and Timozel can accompany him on the lute. Axis says sure as long as the women sing along, and we get an infodump about how he has an “unexpected flair for music and song” and was already a whiz at the harp when he was a kid.
Timozel, of course, is “far less skilled” because he’s not the Chosen One Mary Sue.
We don’t actually get to see the musical performance – instead the author just cuts it short saying they enjoyed a few songs, then jumps to Gilbert’s POV as he makes note of the, uh, simmering sexual tension between Axis and Faraday and silently vows to report it. Oh no, etc.
A few days later the company arrives in Tare, Lady Embeth’s home. Embeth invites the other women to stay in her home along with Axis and Belial, and Timozel is allowed to join them rather than stay with the camp, albeit after Axis gives his permission, which pisses the kid off even further. As you would expect this is told, not shown.
Embeth very much wants to talk to Faraday (a good hard slap might also be in order), but Faraday’s mum keeps Faraday to herself and makes her participate in boring discussions about dresses and the duties of being Borneheld’s wife, etc. Now Faraday finally starts to show some common sense as she realises she can’t let her attraction to Axis get in the way and faces up to the fact that she’s just interested in him because of his glamorous position and so on. She also correctly berates herself for being mean to Borneheld and sees that he didn’t mean to be rude and was in fact trying to be nice to her. She also thinks about how he’s had a pretty rough life, especially given that he lost his father and became Duke at only fourteen, and reflects that maybe she can change him.
Finally she decides to talk to Embeth about it, since Embeth is an older woman and has had similar experiences to what she’s about to go through.
She goes to Embeth’s room at night, and apparently Embeth didn’t think to lock the door because Faraday barges in on her and a naked Axis. Humiliated and embarrassed, Faraday runs back to her room. Embeth comes after her and finds her crying like a little bitch. Boo frickin’ hoo, the guy you already know you can’t get involved with has a girlfriend.
Embeth explains that she and Axis have been doing the deed together for about three years, but they’re not in love; they’re just friends who have sex sometimes. She then explains to the idiot that she’s now legally bound to Borneheld and that as his wife it’s her duty to look after his estate and so on and that love isn’t a guarantee. She also talks about the importance of duty and how the people who live in Borneheld’s lands rely on her. Faraday asks if she loved her deceased husband, and Embeth says he was good to her and she did indeed eventually come to love him.
Faraday concludes that this will happen for her too with Borneheld, and cheers up. Embeth puts her to bed and then returns to her room, thinking about how she’s still worried because Borneheld isn’t like her own husband. Yes, that’s because he’s Evil. Or something. The author wants us to think he’s an awful person, anyway. How he’s a bad person I’m not really sure, because so far he hasn’t done anything douchey. Disliking Axis doesn’t count, because Axis is an asshole who keeps deliberately provoking him.
Sue Trait 5#: Anyone who doesn’t like the Sue is Bad.
10 comments
Anyway so, Belial is a good guy who’s older than Axis but fiercely loyal, blah blah I don’t care, stop dictating at me, author. In case we were at risk of liking Axis, he’s rude and irritable at Belial and then continues to be rude and irritable when his friend-with-benefits, Embeth, shows up with an escort of other women.
Axis bitches about why there’s so many maids and retainers, and sneerily asks if she’s planning to teach his men needlework. He then adds that they’d better not all fall off their horses like a bunch of stupid wussy girly girls while they’re on the march.
See? I told you he was a complete and utter jackass. If this guy holds a high station in this society but is otherwise a lowly bastard, why the fuck did nobody teach him any manners? If he works for the Fantasy Pope, shouldn’t he have some idea of what diplomacy is? Because so far he’s mouthed off to literally everybody he’s spoken to in the entire book. And somehow he keeps getting away with it.
Well, when I say “somehow” I really mean “because he he has special Sue privileges”.
This charming little display of misogyny and rudeness somehow doesn’t bother Farady in the least, and she has a giggle instead, which Embeth joins. I guess that would imply that Embeth doesn’t have a problem with being spoken to like that either.
Borneheld actually shows he has better manners than his sainted brother, because he comes by to see Faraday off, which is a rather nice little gesture for him to make. Faraday brushes off his attempts at being pleasant, and continues to wangst about Axis. Unfortunately Axis returns at this point on his horse, Belaguez. Why does his horse have Spanish name? He just does. Naturally of course, Belaguez is a stallion. Real heroes never ride mares or geldings; that would be an affront to their masculinity.
Faraday is “mortified” (…because?), and we switch to Axis’ POV (STOP DOING THAT) as he recalls seeing Faraday at the banquet and feels sorry for her because Borneheld is patting her leg. He and Borneheld taunt each other like a couple of children, and then Borneheld mocks him for not getting a hot fiancee by using a stupid horse metaphor, saying he was lucky to get something this well-bred ifyouknowwhatImean.
Faraday reacts with a little display of Grrrl Power as she gets pissy at him and thinks “she was no mare to be passed between men at the highest price!”
Again – this is Fantasy Medieval Europe. Being sold off to a suitable husband who wants you because of your breeding is what happens to every nobleman’s daughter. The author is trying to make Faraday come across as a Strong Female Character by making the mistake of having her object to the social mores of her time even though she grew up with them and has nothing to compare them to, and therefore has no reason to have modern day Women’s Lib. ideas about getting to choose your husband. Marrying for love is a very modern idea, and it’s still considered foolish in some parts of the world, and in Medieval Europe a woman who sulked and threw tantrums about being married off to a rich guy would get very short shrift indeed. Shouldn’t Faraday already know all that?
Apparently not, because she “accidentally” startles her horse, which nearly knocks Borneheld over. Borneheld is fooled into thinking she’s just bad at keeping her horse under control, but Axis notices and in yet another POV switch he thinks about how “the girl ha[s] spirit”.
Yeah, douchy misogynistic guys often claim they like a girl “with spirit”. It doesn’t make them any less off-putting. In fact, isn’t “I like a girl with spirit” the cliché line
authors like to give to creepy rapists when the intended victim fights back?
I’m just sayin’.
Predictably he takes the opportunity to taunt Borneheld even more, so I guess now he and Faraday have something in common: they both like being mean to Borneheld and they both have the maturity of a thirteen-year-old.
Finally Axis calls on his Axe-Wielders, who chant back that they “follow his voice” (how did they all hear him anyway?), and off they go.
We’re now nine chapters into the book, by the way, and virtually nothing has happened. What is it with some fantasy authors having no ability to tell a story with any sort of efficiency? Shouldn’t the plot kick off in the first chapter rather than being hinted at for nine of them while the characters sit around exchanging dull dialogue?
In any case we’re now onto my least favourite part of any fantasy novel: Endless travelling! We’re with Embeth for the time being, and she gives us a boring description of just how many guys there are and how efficient they are at travelling as a group. Kitty has stowed away with them and keeps schmoozing up to Axis for some reason. Some of the other women moan about having to travel so fast and Embeth tells them they’re travelling at a “soldier’s pace” because it’s necessary. Oh goody, the old “prissy rich women have to deal with roughnecks and bitch about being deprived of their comforts” chestnut. Never seen that one before.
Finally they’re approached by none other than Timozel, and the POV jumps to Faraday without warning for a big infodump on what he looks like. All you really need to know is that he’s about 21 and rides a gelding. Hmm, only a gelding? I spy foreshadowing.
Timozel has come to pass on an invitation for the women to join Axis for dinner tonight, and the POV now jumps to him to exposit that Timozel knows Axis is knocking off his mum and isn’t happy about it. Is that more foreshadowing I spy? The POV jumps again to one of the noblewomen, and she accepts the invitation.
Seriously, there’s about three POV switches on one freaking page, most of them entirely unnecessary. Where the fuck was the editor?
Cut to Axis by his campfire. He greets Faraday and wonders if she’ll admit to her “ill-mannered stare” on the night of the banquet. 1) Why the hell would she, and 2) Since when was Axis in any position to judge other people for being rude?
Faraday greets him in return and addresses him as “Rivkahson”. The POV jumps to Embeth, who is aghast, and we get EVEN MORE FUCKING TELLING about how Axis is super duper sensitive about his parentage and how nobody ever refers to Rivkah as his mother, but Faraday just did the “impossible” by “gracefully” making Axis’ mother “a virtue rather than an embarrassment”.
Okay, one – how did she make it a virtue? She just called him “Rivkahson”. That’s not making it a virtue; it’s literally just stating that he’s Rivkah’s son. And two, how is it “impossible” or “graceful” to do that? For some reason I’m reminded of the ridiculous scene in Brisingr in which Roran promises Katrina a farm in Carvahall and everyone is all “gasp! Shock! He just staked his honour as a man and a husband on the downfall of the Empire!” like this is somehow a daring or impressive thing to do when he’s already fighting on the Varden’s side.
No. Just no. Roran is not daring or impressive, and Faraday isn’t brilliant with words, and I wish the author would stop telling me what to think about her annoying characters.
Another POV jump takes us to Axis, who is shaken up and can’t think of anything to say. Then we go back to Embeth one sentence later, and Faraday makes a little speech about how she’s heard Princess Rivkah was an amazing person and must have really loved and been proud of Axis, etc. Embeth is shocked and thinks Faraday is Totally Awesome, and then Faraday’s face lights up with a “beautiful smile” and Axis’ eyes “darken”. Embeth sees this and has an instant “uh-oh” moment and thinks she should do something ASAP to avert “the tragedy”. Boy is she thinking several plot points ahead. And apparently she’s psychic as well.
Embeth interrupts the, uh, romantic moment by suggesting that Axis play his harp for them and Timozel can accompany him on the lute. Axis says sure as long as the women sing along, and we get an infodump about how he has an “unexpected flair for music and song” and was already a whiz at the harp when he was a kid.
Timozel, of course, is “far less skilled” because he’s not the Chosen One Mary Sue.
We don’t actually get to see the musical performance – instead the author just cuts it short saying they enjoyed a few songs, then jumps to Gilbert’s POV as he makes note of the, uh, simmering sexual tension between Axis and Faraday and silently vows to report it. Oh no, etc.
A few days later the company arrives in Tare, Lady Embeth’s home. Embeth invites the other women to stay in her home along with Axis and Belial, and Timozel is allowed to join them rather than stay with the camp, albeit after Axis gives his permission, which pisses the kid off even further. As you would expect this is told, not shown.
Embeth very much wants to talk to Faraday (a good hard slap might also be in order), but Faraday’s mum keeps Faraday to herself and makes her participate in boring discussions about dresses and the duties of being Borneheld’s wife, etc. Now Faraday finally starts to show some common sense as she realises she can’t let her attraction to Axis get in the way and faces up to the fact that she’s just interested in him because of his glamorous position and so on. She also correctly berates herself for being mean to Borneheld and sees that he didn’t mean to be rude and was in fact trying to be nice to her. She also thinks about how he’s had a pretty rough life, especially given that he lost his father and became Duke at only fourteen, and reflects that maybe she can change him.
Finally she decides to talk to Embeth about it, since Embeth is an older woman and has had similar experiences to what she’s about to go through.
She goes to Embeth’s room at night, and apparently Embeth didn’t think to lock the door because Faraday barges in on her and a naked Axis. Humiliated and embarrassed, Faraday runs back to her room. Embeth comes after her and finds her crying like a little bitch. Boo frickin’ hoo, the guy you already know you can’t get involved with has a girlfriend.
Embeth explains that she and Axis have been doing the deed together for about three years, but they’re not in love; they’re just friends who have sex sometimes. She then explains to the idiot that she’s now legally bound to Borneheld and that as his wife it’s her duty to look after his estate and so on and that love isn’t a guarantee. She also talks about the importance of duty and how the people who live in Borneheld’s lands rely on her. Faraday asks if she loved her deceased husband, and Embeth says he was good to her and she did indeed eventually come to love him.
Faraday concludes that this will happen for her too with Borneheld, and cheers up. Embeth puts her to bed and then returns to her room, thinking about how she’s still worried because Borneheld isn’t like her own husband. Yes, that’s because he’s Evil. Or something. The author wants us to think he’s an awful person, anyway. How he’s a bad person I’m not really sure, because so far he hasn’t done anything douchey. Disliking Axis doesn’t count, because Axis is an asshole who keeps deliberately provoking him.
Sue Trait 5#: Anyone who doesn’t like the Sue is Bad.
10 comments
[1]
cmdrnemo
January 14 2018, 05:49:39
I also prefer women whose souls are still attached to their mortal bodies. As far as I am concerned no one never should mix up romance and necromance.
Belial, the Lord of Lies, stole the throne of Caldeum replacing emperor Hakan II. His reign was short lived. He made the mistake of attracting the attention of the nephalem. The same nephalem that later laid waste to both heaven and hell killing every demon so foolish as to, well... exist really.
I don't mind a bit of a slow start with fantasy or sci-fi. There should be a certain amount of world and character establishment going on. So you have a better understanding of how that world works differently than ours before everything kicks off. That breaks down in stories like this one. This is generic European fantasy.
The only potentially unique things are the monsters. So to properly establish that, you need to show the monsters early. It should be pretty obvious right? Show how the world is unique. Then use that to start the story.
You can do that differently if you are playing games with dimensional or time travel. Then it might make more sense to show how the main characters interact with their normal world. Before they go off and find a new unfamiliar one. In that context you have characters who are going to be introduced to a completely new world at the same time the reader is. So the reader never feels they have to catch up to what everyone else around here has known for years.
[2]
snarkbotanya
January 14 2018, 07:02:18
Oh wait, “Belial” is just the name of his lieutenant. And no, he’s not any sort of demonic entity Man Was Not Meant To Wot Of. He’s just some guy. Why is he named after a Hebrew demon?
*headdesk* Seriously? Directly ripping off King Priam was bad enough, but at least they're in kind of a similar role what with being King and all. Belial the Random Dude, though? That's just... no.
In fact, isn’t “I like a girl with spirit” the cliché line authors like to give to creepy rapists when the intended victim fights back?
It is indeed... *shudder* To be honest, the way Axis has been behaving, I really wouldn't put it past him.
Okay, one – how did she make it a virtue? She just called him “Rivkahson”.
This could work if matronyms were a typical thing in this setting that bastards are denied... but no, that would require an actual culture, and Douglass isn't going to write one of those. As-is, I have no idea. It just sounds clumsy. Seriously, try saying "Rivkahson" out loud. That, my friends, is why you need to be careful of your naming conventions: if you aren't, you'll end up mixing a language and a patronym/matronym creation scheme that really don't go together.
Faraday’s mum keeps Faraday to herself and makes her participate in boring discussions about dresses and the duties of being Borneheld’s wife, etc.
Wouldn't a medieval girl have been instructed in that shit from day fucking one, or at least when she started approaching puberty? You'd think "How to Be a Good Noble Wife" would have been a core class in Faraday's educational curriculum...
[2A]
theepistler
January 14 2018, 08:13:31
Every time I read the name Belial, I pictured the cover of this book right here. The giant bug monster on it literally IS Belial, as in the demon. Awesome book, by the
way.
It is indeed... *shudder* To be honest, the way Axis has been behaving, I really wouldn't put it past him.
He has absolutely no problem with physically assaulting women. (In the next book he ties up and beats the shit out of one purely because he thinks she might be Evil). I wouldn't put it past him either.
This could work if matronyms were a typical thing in this setting that bastards are denied... but no, that would require an actual culture,
As a matter of fact, if I'm not mistaken this is the only time anyone has been referred to by either a matronym or a patronym. So it's entirely meaningless.
Wouldn't a medieval girl have been instructed in that shit from day fucking one?
Exactly! Faraday is more than old enough to be married; she should have gone to the capital knowing full well she'd likely be betrothed to some guy during the visit. Instead when it happens she acts like this is an unpleasant surprise. *facepalm*
[3]
theepistler
January 14 2018, 08:00:37
This is basically the entire "romance", by the way. After this one conversation and later on a brief make-out session with some painfully cheesy dialogue, we're supposed to buy it that they're "in love". As in would-die-for-each-other stuff of legends Epic Romance. I'm really not kidding. They have absolutely nothing in common and are acquaintances at best, but they're totally "in love", you guys. You can tell because the author keeps desperately reiterating it.
[4]
torylltales
January 14 2018, 10:30:05 Edited: January 14 2018, 10:30:22
I thought the names were ridiculous last time, but now the author is just fucking with us. Seriously, Belial? Who's next, 'Abaddon, King of the Evil Empire'?
Actually that's a thought, can we confirm that Sarah Douglass and Gloria Tesch are not the same person?
[4A]
Anonymous
January 14 2018, 13:01:38
Well, seeing as Tesch is still alive...
[4A1]
Anonymous
January 14 2018, 14:45:50
Yeah, Ms Douglass died of cancer several years ago.
(OR DID SHE??)
~Epistler
[4B]
Anonymous
January 16 2018, 05:26:09
I'd find an evil overlord named Abaddon threatening if his arms didn't fall off so easily.
[5]
ghostwyvern
January 14 2018, 12:13:56
Well, I had a huge post prepared and accidentally hit tab instead of undoing my capslock while editing it.
Basically: Commoners got to choose their spouses based on love in medieval Europe, and I'm sure the nobles noticed. Dissatisfaction with arranged marriages is probably one of the contributing circumstances to the idea of courtly love. And it'd be fine if Faraday were a dissatisfied wife who's already married, and Axis was her beloved knight whom she idealized because she didn't have to live with him and see the bad side of him.
However... Borneheld is not an old man, he's not been described as ugly, he's a duke with great wealth, and he's heir to the throne. He's also been polite to Faraday and has shown no inclination to harm her in any way. Rather than bemoan her fate, Faraday ought to be having fits of glee and struggling to suppress her excitement to maintain a facade of modesty around the other ladies. There probably were nobles who protested arranged marriage, but since that's how society worked and it was practical, they wouldn't have gotten far in changing things. And a girl being that ungrateful about such a good match would probably have been punished for complaining about it. After all, such a marriage could seal important alliances or maintain the loyalty of a noble's vassals if he offered his daughter's hand in marriage as a tournament prize. Faraday could have found herself with an elderly man or a man who beat her for fun. She could have been married to someone whose language she didn't speak in some faraway land, never to see anyone she knows and loves again, all for the sake of sealing a trade agreement. Faraday 's not even
giving Borneheld a chance to court her during their betrothal.
Some Google research tells me (among other things) that medieval sidesaddles were poorly designed, so horses wearing them had to be kept to a walk to keep women from falling off. If the women were sidesaddle, then the horses would probably need to be led--and they aren't, and are traveling at a good pace, so we can assume the women are astride. If the ladies are riding astride, then they have probably been taught to ride and are competent. They'd have good reason to be insulted by Axis suggesting they're going to fall off their horses.
Everything you've said about Axis screams that he's insecure in his masculinity, maybe because he's illegitimate. And let's face it, he's not charming. He's abrasive, obnoxious, insubordinate, and rides a stallion to prove he's a big mighty manly man. He's illegitimate, has no land or prospects, and the military unit he commanded has now been put under Borneheld. He's supposed to be popular with women, but with the insults he's tossing out, I find that hard to believe. Now... how exactly has Faraday found anything about him attractive other than his physical appearance?
I'm not sure why Faraday is so torn up about Axis sleeping with Embeth, either. For starters, she shouldn't have barged in. And she's probably heard of Axis's reputation with women. Moreover, Faraday is betrothed, so she'd be unwise at best to go sleeping with Axis. Infidelity could sometimes result in execution even for commoner women. Someone who's betrothed to the heir to the throne could expect no better fate than Rivkah's exile, and it's quite likely that Faraday could be beheaded. If she absolutely had to get Axis in bed, the smartest thing to do would be to wait until she's consummated her marriage, so that her infidelity could be more easily hidden. Then again, we've established Faraday isn't all that smart...
[5A]
theepistler
January 17 2018, 19:56:24
Axis really, really reminds me of Roran. He's the same ridiculous caricature of masculinity, and has the same bullshit arrogant attitude toward his superiors. And as you'll see later on, he also gets his ass kissed into next week for doing the least little thing. I wanted to strangle the little snot.
As for all the rest of it, you're completely right. Faraday's attitude toward the whole thing makes absolutely no sense. I could maybe buy it if there was an actual established romance between her and Axis - like they were truly, madly, deeply in love and it was based on something other than stupid shallow looks-based lust.
Then I'd completely understand her being upset about having to marry someone else. But as it is there is no established romance between her and Axis. She's just attracted by his animal magnetism or some junk like that. It makes her come off as a first class idiot, and when he starts coming on to her in return it makes him look like a predator. (Don't forget, she's 18 and he's 28).
cmdrnemo
January 14 2018, 05:49:39
I also prefer women whose souls are still attached to their mortal bodies. As far as I am concerned no one never should mix up romance and necromance.
Belial, the Lord of Lies, stole the throne of Caldeum replacing emperor Hakan II. His reign was short lived. He made the mistake of attracting the attention of the nephalem. The same nephalem that later laid waste to both heaven and hell killing every demon so foolish as to, well... exist really.
I don't mind a bit of a slow start with fantasy or sci-fi. There should be a certain amount of world and character establishment going on. So you have a better understanding of how that world works differently than ours before everything kicks off. That breaks down in stories like this one. This is generic European fantasy.
The only potentially unique things are the monsters. So to properly establish that, you need to show the monsters early. It should be pretty obvious right? Show how the world is unique. Then use that to start the story.
You can do that differently if you are playing games with dimensional or time travel. Then it might make more sense to show how the main characters interact with their normal world. Before they go off and find a new unfamiliar one. In that context you have characters who are going to be introduced to a completely new world at the same time the reader is. So the reader never feels they have to catch up to what everyone else around here has known for years.
[2]
snarkbotanya
January 14 2018, 07:02:18
Oh wait, “Belial” is just the name of his lieutenant. And no, he’s not any sort of demonic entity Man Was Not Meant To Wot Of. He’s just some guy. Why is he named after a Hebrew demon?
*headdesk* Seriously? Directly ripping off King Priam was bad enough, but at least they're in kind of a similar role what with being King and all. Belial the Random Dude, though? That's just... no.
In fact, isn’t “I like a girl with spirit” the cliché line authors like to give to creepy rapists when the intended victim fights back?
It is indeed... *shudder* To be honest, the way Axis has been behaving, I really wouldn't put it past him.
Okay, one – how did she make it a virtue? She just called him “Rivkahson”.
This could work if matronyms were a typical thing in this setting that bastards are denied... but no, that would require an actual culture, and Douglass isn't going to write one of those. As-is, I have no idea. It just sounds clumsy. Seriously, try saying "Rivkahson" out loud. That, my friends, is why you need to be careful of your naming conventions: if you aren't, you'll end up mixing a language and a patronym/matronym creation scheme that really don't go together.
Faraday’s mum keeps Faraday to herself and makes her participate in boring discussions about dresses and the duties of being Borneheld’s wife, etc.
Wouldn't a medieval girl have been instructed in that shit from day fucking one, or at least when she started approaching puberty? You'd think "How to Be a Good Noble Wife" would have been a core class in Faraday's educational curriculum...
[2A]
theepistler
January 14 2018, 08:13:31
Every time I read the name Belial, I pictured the cover of this book right here. The giant bug monster on it literally IS Belial, as in the demon. Awesome book, by the
way.
It is indeed... *shudder* To be honest, the way Axis has been behaving, I really wouldn't put it past him.
He has absolutely no problem with physically assaulting women. (In the next book he ties up and beats the shit out of one purely because he thinks she might be Evil). I wouldn't put it past him either.
This could work if matronyms were a typical thing in this setting that bastards are denied... but no, that would require an actual culture,
As a matter of fact, if I'm not mistaken this is the only time anyone has been referred to by either a matronym or a patronym. So it's entirely meaningless.
Wouldn't a medieval girl have been instructed in that shit from day fucking one?
Exactly! Faraday is more than old enough to be married; she should have gone to the capital knowing full well she'd likely be betrothed to some guy during the visit. Instead when it happens she acts like this is an unpleasant surprise. *facepalm*
[3]
theepistler
January 14 2018, 08:00:37
This is basically the entire "romance", by the way. After this one conversation and later on a brief make-out session with some painfully cheesy dialogue, we're supposed to buy it that they're "in love". As in would-die-for-each-other stuff of legends Epic Romance. I'm really not kidding. They have absolutely nothing in common and are acquaintances at best, but they're totally "in love", you guys. You can tell because the author keeps desperately reiterating it.
[4]
torylltales
January 14 2018, 10:30:05 Edited: January 14 2018, 10:30:22
I thought the names were ridiculous last time, but now the author is just fucking with us. Seriously, Belial? Who's next, 'Abaddon, King of the Evil Empire'?
Actually that's a thought, can we confirm that Sarah Douglass and Gloria Tesch are not the same person?
[4A]
Anonymous
January 14 2018, 13:01:38
Well, seeing as Tesch is still alive...
[4A1]
Anonymous
January 14 2018, 14:45:50
Yeah, Ms Douglass died of cancer several years ago.
(OR DID SHE??)
~Epistler
[4B]
Anonymous
January 16 2018, 05:26:09
I'd find an evil overlord named Abaddon threatening if his arms didn't fall off so easily.
[5]
ghostwyvern
January 14 2018, 12:13:56
Well, I had a huge post prepared and accidentally hit tab instead of undoing my capslock while editing it.
Basically: Commoners got to choose their spouses based on love in medieval Europe, and I'm sure the nobles noticed. Dissatisfaction with arranged marriages is probably one of the contributing circumstances to the idea of courtly love. And it'd be fine if Faraday were a dissatisfied wife who's already married, and Axis was her beloved knight whom she idealized because she didn't have to live with him and see the bad side of him.
However... Borneheld is not an old man, he's not been described as ugly, he's a duke with great wealth, and he's heir to the throne. He's also been polite to Faraday and has shown no inclination to harm her in any way. Rather than bemoan her fate, Faraday ought to be having fits of glee and struggling to suppress her excitement to maintain a facade of modesty around the other ladies. There probably were nobles who protested arranged marriage, but since that's how society worked and it was practical, they wouldn't have gotten far in changing things. And a girl being that ungrateful about such a good match would probably have been punished for complaining about it. After all, such a marriage could seal important alliances or maintain the loyalty of a noble's vassals if he offered his daughter's hand in marriage as a tournament prize. Faraday could have found herself with an elderly man or a man who beat her for fun. She could have been married to someone whose language she didn't speak in some faraway land, never to see anyone she knows and loves again, all for the sake of sealing a trade agreement. Faraday 's not even
giving Borneheld a chance to court her during their betrothal.
Some Google research tells me (among other things) that medieval sidesaddles were poorly designed, so horses wearing them had to be kept to a walk to keep women from falling off. If the women were sidesaddle, then the horses would probably need to be led--and they aren't, and are traveling at a good pace, so we can assume the women are astride. If the ladies are riding astride, then they have probably been taught to ride and are competent. They'd have good reason to be insulted by Axis suggesting they're going to fall off their horses.
Everything you've said about Axis screams that he's insecure in his masculinity, maybe because he's illegitimate. And let's face it, he's not charming. He's abrasive, obnoxious, insubordinate, and rides a stallion to prove he's a big mighty manly man. He's illegitimate, has no land or prospects, and the military unit he commanded has now been put under Borneheld. He's supposed to be popular with women, but with the insults he's tossing out, I find that hard to believe. Now... how exactly has Faraday found anything about him attractive other than his physical appearance?
I'm not sure why Faraday is so torn up about Axis sleeping with Embeth, either. For starters, she shouldn't have barged in. And she's probably heard of Axis's reputation with women. Moreover, Faraday is betrothed, so she'd be unwise at best to go sleeping with Axis. Infidelity could sometimes result in execution even for commoner women. Someone who's betrothed to the heir to the throne could expect no better fate than Rivkah's exile, and it's quite likely that Faraday could be beheaded. If she absolutely had to get Axis in bed, the smartest thing to do would be to wait until she's consummated her marriage, so that her infidelity could be more easily hidden. Then again, we've established Faraday isn't all that smart...
[5A]
theepistler
January 17 2018, 19:56:24
Axis really, really reminds me of Roran. He's the same ridiculous caricature of masculinity, and has the same bullshit arrogant attitude toward his superiors. And as you'll see later on, he also gets his ass kissed into next week for doing the least little thing. I wanted to strangle the little snot.
As for all the rest of it, you're completely right. Faraday's attitude toward the whole thing makes absolutely no sense. I could maybe buy it if there was an actual established romance between her and Axis - like they were truly, madly, deeply in love and it was based on something other than stupid shallow looks-based lust.
Then I'd completely understand her being upset about having to marry someone else. But as it is there is no established romance between her and Axis. She's just attracted by his animal magnetism or some junk like that. It makes her come off as a first class idiot, and when he starts coming on to her in return it makes him look like a predator. (Don't forget, she's 18 and he's 28).