Touched by Venom Parts Two and Three

[pangolin20]

theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-05-06 10:41:00

Touched By Venom: Parts Two and Three



Part Two: The Bestiality Begins

Zarq wakes up from her venom trip, and her mother explains to her that yes, she is a Djimbi. She also says “hey-o” a lot, which is a random word pretty much every character in this trilogy uses. No I don’t know what it means or why people say it all the time. They just do. We meet Zarq’s dad, who seems like a decent enough sort (in fact he’s the only male character in the trilogy who isn’t a huge jerk. Naturally this means he must die), and we get a completely gratuitous description of Zarq listening to her parents screwing, which is apparently something she’s so used to hearing at night that she finds it comfortingly familiar.

I’m beginning to wonder if there’s a single chapter in this book which doesn’t have some mention of sex in it.

Oh, but it gets worse. Way, way worse. 22 pages into the novel, the first instance of dragon bestiality pops up. Zarq narrates to us how the Djimbi are the original inhabitants of her home country, Malacar, and how people say that they abduct children and feed them to baby dragons, after which they molest the little creatures by sticking their fingers “…where fingers shouldn’t go, and tongues and cocks and anything else our fevered imaginations could come up with. There’s some truth to all that”.

Yeah.

We then learn about how the eeevil white people, known as the Xxeltekers and no I have no idea how to pronounce that came to Malacar and immediately set about – what else? – indiscriminately raping every native woman they came across because that’s what Evil White People do. Eventually they and another presumably “ivory-skinned” (yes, that’s the term the author uses) race of invaders took over the whole country and the Djimbi were relegated to Filthy Barbarian status and banished to the depths of the jungle.

Wow. Subtle.

Anyway, long story short, the invaders eventually set up an evil theocracy thingy with evil rich aristocrats. All of this is told rather than shown, and while it’s believable it’s still not very engaging, in part because so far the characters are boring and unlikeable and there’s no plot.

Zarq gets up in the morning, and we learn that today is the “Day of Doom”, which is an odd name given that it’s just the day when the dragonmaster may possibly choose one of the clan to join his apprentices. We also see the women doing their morning prayers/yoga, pressing their foreheads to the ground in supplication, which I can’t help but picture as a group of Muslims praying to Mecca. Ten bucks says it was intentional, too.

Zarq and Waivia bicker, we learn that Zarq isn’t pretty (the horror!) and that Waivia is a childish bitch. They seriously do the “am not!” “are too!” thing like they’re a pair of six year olds. We also learn that the Day of Doom had other names, one of which is Dragonmaster’s Snatch, and thanks a lot for that mental image, Ms Cross.

Dono, the little freak, shows up demanding the sexual favours Waivia offered him and did I mention this kid is nine years old? She refuses, not because of that but because he didn’t get a whip for her, and Zarq ends up getting into a fight with him. Eventually Dono clears off, swearing revenge, and I can’t say being threatened by a skinny nine year old with no teeth is exactly going to have me quaking in my boots.

Waivia then reveals her plan to become a “pleasurer”, in other words a glorified hooker. There’s no mention of wanting to marry a handsome nobleman or anything like that; her way to a better life is becoming some guy’s whore. I know this series is supposed to be centred around dragons, but honestly it’s really centered around sex. Everything in this series is somehow linked to sex. And I do mean everything.

We then get a very uncomfortably sexual description of how hot Waivia is, uncomfortable in part because it’s given to us by her primary school aged sister, who apparently sees fit to include a reference to jungle cats with swolen vulvas, and no I’m not making that up. I’m wondering how she even looks this hot when she’s a dirt-poor serf. You would realistically expect someone that lowly to have broken fingernails, grubby skin and possibly a few missing teeth, but nope. Apparently you can live in a stone age village making pottery for ten hours a day and somehow look like a supermodel.

We also get a tediously detailed description of the poor oppressed women making breakfast for the clan, most of it made-up fantasy foodstuffs, but the main ingredient is dragon eggs. Yeah, the people who worship dragons eat their eggs for breakfast. Seems legit.

Finally the village elder guy shows up. He has some sort of nasty growth on his neck, which we totally needed to hear about, and he leads the clan in some prayers before sending them all off to work. Zarq ends up cutting vines in the jungle with her mum, and yet again I’m struck by how implausibly rebellious and free-spirited her mother is without suffering any consequences whatsoever. Given how absurdly oppressive this society is supposed to be, I’m not buying it.

Anyway, so then Kratt (the same guy who will eventually murder Zarq’s father because he is Evil) shows up on his dragon, acting like a spoiled rich brat with an ego the size of a planet (in other words, Eragon). He asks for Waivia, who strolls right up to him like a prom queen. She then “kowtows” and what is this very specific Chinese term for grovelling doing in this setting, and manages to make it super sexy. Yet again we learn how Waivia is basically sexiness incarnate with the bodacious booty and the sensual hips, etc. etc., and again this is being described to us by her little sister. Who is nine freakin’ years old, might I add. When your own kid sister is essentially ogling your hot bod, you have problems. And by “problems” I mean “a sister who needs professional help”.

Kratt checks her out, naturally, and she just walks off like a big tease. So he leaves again. Well that was anti-climactic.

We also learn that dragons have “oval-shaped” bodies, and I’m really having trouble picturing that. It sounds like something I drew in Microsoft Paint when I was six.

Part Three: Everything Goes To Hell, Surprising Nobody

The clan gets on with preparing for the Dragonmaster’s Vagina Snatch, and we learn that if Kratt claims Waivia as his new squeeze the clan will be nicely rewarded. The alternative is that she may become a “kiyu”, or one of the ordinary, low-class sex slaves who doesn’t get to service handsome noblemen. (The horror! Also, am I crazy or is “kiyu” a Japanese word? It sure as hell looks like one).

Meanwhile we get even more description of dragon-centric holy rituals, and everyone goes to the local temple thingy for the Dragonmaster’s Pussy Snatch. Here we get a nice little anachronism, as one of the acolytes is described as having “acne”. Yah-huh. The word “ovaries” also pops up, and apparently chillies look like them. Whut.

Anyway, so everyone waits for the dragonmaster to pick out his latest apprentices, and here we learn that if a boy is picked he will be flogged with venom-soaked whips and suffer even worse if he survives it.

And yet people want to be chosen for this. Riiight.

I can understand why the clan would want it, since we’re informed that if a boy is chosen from a particular clan that clan will be given lots of free goodies, but why the fuck would anyone volunteer to be essentially tortured to death even if it does mean Daddy gets a new pair of shoes?

Dono, apparently. In fact he deliberately breaks the rules by coughing to get the dragonmaster’s attention rather than sitting quietly like everyone else.

And then we… uh, cut away for some exposition from Zarq. She gives us a boring linguistics lesson in which we learn how children are named (predictably, everyone is referred to as their father’s possession, eg. Dono’s full name is Yeli’s Dono). Zarq, however, has a man’s name, and a nobleman’s name at that.

Apparently everyone was okay with her mother doing this. Why, I have no freaking idea. But, you know, Zarq is Special and therefore has a Special name. As she spends most of the trilogy trying to do things only men are allowed to do, this is probably supposed to be foreshadowing. Really obvious, clunky forshadowing.

We also find out about Dono’s backstory, but all you really need to know is that his mother was a sex slave who died giving birth to him and his father wouldn’t acknowledge him. So at the age of seven he ripped out all his teeth in order to prove himself and be recognised as a Man, which actually worked. And yes, the description of all this is about as bloody and unpleasant as you would expect.

Cut back to present day. Everyone is mortified, but the dragonmaster is amused by Dono’s cheek and chooses him. Here we are informed that Zarq and Dono were both suckled by her mother, which makes him her “milk brother”, and no this will not be important. Exit Dono (though not permanently, I’m sad to say).

In the next chapter the author starts using an irritating little writing device in which Zarq describes her memories of the next few days as friezes painted on tile panels, and lists the contents of each “panel” as a different memory. It’s as pretentious and annoying to read as you would expect.

We also get yet another pointlessly revolting aside, where Zarq finds a sex toy shaped like a dragon, thinks it’s a drinking vessel, and nearly drinks out of it. And as if that wasn’t enough we’re informed that the thing hasn’t been cleaned and reeks of sweat and man-batter. Isn’t this just such a charming book?

Meanwhile the clan is expected to give all their stuff away before they’ll be paid for handing Dono over to the dragonmaster (good riddance). Naturally they’re very excited about all the cool stuff they’re going to get, and as you’d expect Zarq describes everyone having lots of sex. It’s honestly starting to become tedious.

A neighbouring clan busts in and strips the place bare like your average angry mob, then splits. We get another infodump about the origins of Zarq’s name – she’s literally named after the founder of Malacar (who subsequently died of STDs, harhar). So her name is even more Special than we suspected.

One guy badmouths the Emperor and is quietly murdered. And by quietly I mean they hack him to bits with a machete. Then Zarq’s mum uses Djimbi magic to… uh… make some nice painted tiles. I think. It’s described so vaguely and with so much weird imagery that it’s honestly hard to tell if it’s real or just some sort of metaphor or dream sequences. Oh, and we also get a completely gratuitous description of her naked boobs because of course we do.

A week of starvation passes, and finally the goodies show up… but Zarq’s clan doesn’t get a damn thing because, apparently, Dono being chosen doesn’t count because he cheated to get the dragonmaster’s attention. So yeah, it’s basically all Dono’s fault, not that he’s likely to care. Waivia is super pissed at her mother for some obscure reason, and spends most of her time sulking like a bratty teenager.

Anyway, since everyone is now desperate the clan elder sells Waivia to a neighbouring clan as a sex slave, and good riddance to her too. Zarq’s mother freaks out and refuses to let her go, and when this doesn’t work she begs Zarq of all people to “bring my baby back”. Yeah, she’s asking a nine year old kid to fix everything. And guess what? This will be what drives 99% of the plot from now on: Zarq’s mum wanting to have her eldest daughter back at any cost, and that cost will include screwing Zarq over five ways to Sunday, because fuck her I guess. Only the hawt elder daughter counts!

I have a couple of problems with this. One is that hanging an entire freaking trilogy on this is incredibly weak. This is supposed to be epic fantasy, not The Days Of Our Lives. Another is that Waivia is not a remotely likeable character. She’s a selfish entitled bitch. So we don’t care if they get her back or not. (And no, she never does become a better person; she’s as unlikeable by the end of the trilogy as she is at the beginning, and in some ways rather worse. For one thing she clearly doesn’t give a shit about the living hell her sister went through largely due to her). A third is that Waivia has never been shown as having a close relationship with her mother, who has also not been previously shown to adore her eldest daughter, and is no more likeable than Waivia is, and every bit as entitled and selfish. Ms Cross seems to be under the impression that “strong female characters” have to be permanently pissed off, demanding and uncaring. Zarq herself will quickly grow to fit this mould. You can be a nice, friendly, gentle person and still be “strong”, you know. Being a jerk doesn’t make you strong or admirable. It just makes you a jerk.

Likewise, everyone in a story being a cruel selfish jerk isn’t “realistic”. It’s just obnoxious and, in fact, highly unrealistic. It’s no more believable than everyone being a human Care Bear who never so much as makes a frowny face.

And, of course, the entire rest of the book will continue to be slathered in incredibly off-putting sex, most of it utterly gratuitous. We haven’t even gotten to the female circumcision yet, or the really hardcore bestiality. And if you don’t want me to include extracts of those parts of the book, you’d better send me money. Otherwise, odds are I’ll quote them anyway just so you can suffer along with me.

96 pages in – almost one third of the way into the book – and there’s still no identifiable plot or a single sympathetic character. Woo.

I need a drink.

27 comments
[1]

hergrim
May 6 2017, 12:04:25
I've been looking at reviews for the books and...a lot of them are positive.

Touched by Venom

Can't understand the controversy, but male readers seem to be the ones most likely to not "get it", if that tells you anything. Roc's marketing strategy is also bad, the cover artwork and Carey's endorsement works against this book.

This is not light entertainment, but a more literary and cerebral read of thoughtful social commentary. Cross deftly weaves in subtle, understated commentary on not just sex oppression, but that of class and race, as well as the power dynamics of religious and political oppression on us all.

As a new writer, it predictably, but occasionally falls down in a few patches, where Cross doesn't quite 'pull it off', but this is a minor criticism of an overall highly talented work by a new writer.

My only concern is that this potential talent, will be pressured to deteriorate into sensationalist trashy 'Sex & Violence' in order to sell. Nonetheless I am curious enough to get the second installment. I hope I'm not disappointed, after such a promising start.

Shadowed by Wings

Whatever flaws TBV had, are not found in Shadowed by Wings, its much more polished, much less graphic in its portrayal of violence (so if thats what you're looking for, you will be disappointed!!), the flow of the action/adventure more well-paced, and the story unfolds with some answers, particularly concerning the politics of Malacar. From SFRevu, Review of 'Touched by Venom' by Gayle Surrette:"Zarq .. doesn't observe or ask questions about what goes on around her. As the clan and her family are torn apart she simply watches with all the innocence of a young child. For most of this book, Zarq steps back from taking responsibility for her own life and lets passion, revenge, and anger rule her choices......I found myself ...to really want to sit Zarq down and let her have it, with her aloofness and stubbornness."

I agree with this portrayal of Zarq the whiny child in TBV - but that child has grown and mostly gone by the end of 'Shadowed by Wings', Zarq at 17/18 is a much wiser, mature young woman, her character far more fully developed than in TBV, as we witness the birth of a political revolutionary leader, where the Personal is indeed the Political. A much more satisfying ending than TBV too.... the final installment can't be published quick enough for me!

Forged by Fire

A breathtaking ending for this gripping tale of revolution and the feminist revolutionary,Zarq, who forged it.

In this final installment, Zarq has little time to savour her victory in the Arena in winning the ownership of her own Clutch at the end of Book 2. She and her few supporters are immediately attacked by Temple Auditors and again, she must hide, renounce her claim and also again, she forges relationships amongst the brutalised rishi she shelters with.

Still struggling with her dragon venom addiction, she is captured and then escapes with a pair of winged female dragons. Arriving deep in the jungle she finally learns the secret of breeding male dragons, the secret that will ultimately lead to breaking the power of the Temple and spark the revolution.

Janine Cross brilliantly weaves the realism of political intrigue and conflicting self-interests, while creatively overturning traditional magical fantasy narrative, into a rich detailed exploration of oppression, where the personal is indeed the political.

*****

I can understand how, in such a society, Waivia would want to become a sex slave to a nobleman. There are always going to be girls who see only the better food and clothes offered by a wealthy man, and don't think about what will happen to them in the long term. The more desperate the poverty, the better anything slightly shiny and less mud covered looks.

On the other hand, Waivia really shouldn't be at all attractive, given the world she seems to be living in. She should be short and skinny, with dirt ground into her hands, along with bruises from be beaten for disobedience. Also, she should probably have been raped or sold off into sexual slavery at 10 or 12. Come on Cross, be consistent! If you're going to make everything as filthy and grimdark as possible, you can't take any half measures.

[1A]

theepistler
May 6 2017, 16:57:59 Edited: May 6 2017, 16:59:30
Please. The portrayal of sexism (and every other "ism) in this series is about as subtle as a brick to the face. And I love how the critic implies that it's mostly men who don't "get it" because, you know... they're men, and therefore totally ignorant and probably sexist as well. In the next installment of the spork I talk about the ugly underlying themes in this book, which are incredibly demeaning towards men and don't make women look good either.

My only concern is that this potential talent, will be pressured to deteriorate into sensationalist trashy 'Sex & Violence' in order to sell.

Hahahah!

...oh wait, they're serious. Let me laugh even harder.

HAHAHAH!

I guaran-fucking-tee you that this thing was picked up because of all the trashy sex and violence. I mean, just look at the cover. It practically screams "trashy romance/sex novel". I do not for one second believe the publishers ever considered it anything other than cheap titillation posing as a "serious" fantasy novel. I mean, come on. It's the only reason anyone has even heard of this piece of junk.

(EDIT: Oh yeah, and that's some truly atrocious grammar right there, Serious Critic Person).

[1A1]

Anonymous
May 7 2017, 01:38:14
"guaran-fucking-tee"

That right there is called a tmesis. Just thought I'd educate the uninformed with some massively useless information.

[1A1A]

Anonymous
May 7 2017, 07:52:35
But can you tell us the word of which tmesis is a conjugated form?

[1A1A1]

Anonymous
May 7 2017, 18:08:28
Honestly no, but google does inform me its Greek.

[1A1A2]

torylltales
May 7 2017, 23:37:46
temnein, to cut. Some sources list temno, I cut. But they're just forms of the same word.

[1A2]

hergrim
May 7 2017, 16:35:26
From reading the reviews it seems that, whatever the original intention of the publishers, there are people who are picking up the series because they think it's a deep, subtle, nuanced look at female empowerment in a realistic misogynistic society.

[1A2A]

theepistler
May 7 2017, 16:44:37
*facepalm*

This of course means that anyone who calls bullshit is "sexist" and therefore Wrong and Bad and not worth listening to.

Honestly, they really are setting the bar low here. What, all you have to do to write a "female empowerment" story is slather it with rape and portray all men as either pathetic losers or misogynistic, violent assholes, while the women are all self-centered bitches who automatically know best? And the only way the author seems to know how to get us to like her protagonist is by doing all sorts of horrible things to her rather than giving her a freaking personality? Give me a break.

[1A2A1]

hergrim
May 7 2017, 17:42:47
There's a subsection of people who think exactly like this. Misandry is pretty much their answer to everything.

[1A2A1A]

theepistler
May 7 2017, 17:56:30
Sadly. You do NOT respond to oppression and stereotyping with more oppression and stereotyping! No wonder so many guys hate self-proclaimed "feminists" - they're literally being told "all men are violent/rapists/misogynists", and when they protest "well I'm not like that" they're immediately shouted down and told it's THEIR responsibility for how other guys they don't even know behave towards women. Which is bullshit.
I mean yeah, if you see one of your mates harassing a woman or saying sexist things you should probably call him out on it

It's really not that different to my own reaction to the Evil Imperialist White Stereotype villains in this book. I'm like "well yeah, there have been white people who have behaved like this, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea to write horrible caricatured white villains and play it absolutely straight. Kindly don't tar all Caucasians with the same brush by pretending we're ALL like that. It goes both ways, jackass".

But you know, it's not possible to be racist against white people because mumblemumble.

I really think it would be a lot more helpful if we stopped it with the whole "us vs them" bs, and just saw people as, y'know, people rather than members of some vaguely defined, 100% homogeneous group. It would probably solve a lot of problems.

[1B]

vaskrslacigla
May 6 2017, 18:58:40
Forged by fire..isn't that name of show on History channel?

[1C]

vaskrslacigla
May 6 2017, 19:00:32
Positive reviews.

Venom cock.

Why?

[1C1]

theepistler
May 6 2017, 19:26:02 Edited: May 6 2017, 19:26:37
My best guess is that they did it for the lulz. Just like the 15,000 people who wrote in votes for Harambe at the 2016 US Presidential election.

[2]

vorpal_tongue
May 6 2017, 20:53:37
Part Two: The Beastiality Begins

The Beastiality Begins

Watch on YouTube

[2A]

theepistler
May 6 2017, 21:05:46
Oh dear, please excuse the typo! I'll correct it right away.

[2A1]

vorpal_tongue
May 6 2017, 21:32:59
NOOOOOooohh shit.

She already changed it.

[2A1A]

theepistler
May 6 2017, 22:06:01
The other spelling makes so much more sense, but there you go.

[2A2]

Anonymous
May 6 2017, 22:53:27
Noooo!! It was such a great pun!!

I laughed, at least. I thought it was intentional

[2A2A]

vorpal_tongue
May 7 2017, 03:18:53
I'll make a petition to change it back. Who's with me?

[2A2A1]

Anonymous
May 7 2017, 03:57:51
I am! It was justo a menor thing, but it was funny!

[2A2A2]

theepistler
May 7 2017, 09:18:39
Oh, all right - I'll change it back. :)

[2A2A2A]

vorpal_tongue
May 7 2017, 14:07:35
It has returned! IT HAS RETURNED!!!

*Throws arms up in the air* Prrraise The Epistler! For She has listened!

[2A2A2A1]

theepistler
May 7 2017, 14:24:56
Oh, you. *blushes*

[3]

torylltales
May 7 2017, 13:07:14
I really want to comment, but I simply can't. This book is so terrible that I can't even stomach Epistler's characteristically excellent and cuttingly witty sporking of it.

I just so much want this entire thing to be erased from existence. Much like a certain steampunk-Gulliver's-Travels-sequel a portion of which I quoted to Epistler a while back.

[3A]

theepistler
May 7 2017, 14:27:50
Yeah, and thanks a lot for that, you bastard. I'm still traumatised.

[3A1]

torylltales
May 7 2017, 15:17:57
How do you think I feel?

[3A1A]

theepistler
May 7 2017, 15:19:55
...kinda squishy and hairy?