Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty
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theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-06-03 11:44:00
LOCATION: United Kingdom, Birmingham
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crankyMUSIC: Mr Wonderful
Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty
In the next chapter, we find out that Azhure… you know, I’m getting really sick of typing that name, not least because of the awkward spelling. What did sticking an “h” into the word “azure” really accomplish anyway?
Anyway, so Cerhulean- uh, I mean Azhure – now has a personal maid on top of everything else; a Ravensbundwoman named Imibe, who has just finished styling her hair for her.
Am I the only one who’s slightly uncomfortable that the tribal hunter gatherer woman who joined the “civilised” army was rewarded with a job as a servant?
Anyway, blah blah Azhure needs a maid because she’s so busy nowadays. And we’ve got a Jeod now, as apparently “a [sic] historian had even arrived, declaring he’d come to take notes and keep records of Axis SunSoar’s journey through Prophecy”.
…it’s “an historian”, not “a historian”, author. Weren’t you an fucking historian yourself?! Where the hell was the editor?!
Don’t even get me started on the rest of it. I’d be more okay with it if the historian showed up afterwards to write an account of everything that had happened, but as it is this just reads like more Sue worship. Axis has a biographer now! Which makes sense since he’s accomplished… uh, nothing particularly noteworthy, thanks for asking.
Meanwhile Azhure has the love and admiration of everybody, as whenever she walks around Lakesview people bow and curtsy to her. Naturally she pretends to be embarrassed about this, but given her previous displays of egotism I’m not buying it.
Now Axis shows up, asking her to show him her “finery”. Oh great, now we’re going to get even more clothing description. Just what the story needs. Wasn’t there supposed to be a war going on right now?
Boooring! I want more descriptions of fancy dresses! And jewellery! And shiny Sue hair!
Sure enough, we’re informed that Axis is wearing his pretty gold silk tunic with red pants, while Azhure is wearing “a simple black gown, cut in stark lines that both emphasised her tall, lithe figure and directed attention to the fine bone structure of her face and her unusual smoky eyes”.
Oh my GOD I GET it, Azhure is physically attractive! I DON’T CARE! What does this add to anything? Oh that’s right – nothing! And I still have no fucking idea what “smoky eyes” look like. Oh, and add another Sue Point for having special eyes. At least they don’t change colour when she’s angry. (Yet).
Axis gives Azhure a pair of “dark-gold drop earrings”, which he “clips” onto her ears. They have clip-on earrings in Fantasy Land now? Also, what the hell is “dark-gold”?
Axis says the two of them make an “elegant pair”, and then Azhure starts crying and says soon he’ll be off to Carlon to be with Faraday, his “queen”, and then goes on about how what she and Axis have together is “insubstantial as a reflection across water” and blah blah blah, angst.
Axis being Axis, he immediately decides to make it all about him, claiming that he wuvs her and she isn’t just a casual fling, and then demanding to know whether she loves him in return or whether this is just her way of saying she’s breaking up with him. Screw you, Axis.
Azhure lies, claming that she’s, like, totally guilty about Faraday (suuure you are), and asks if he feels bad about it too. He answers that he “suppose[s]”. Wow, I’m so buying it that you really mean that, Axis. He goes on about how the three of them are being “manipulated beyond our own free will” by the stupid prophecy. Yeah, nice try at getting yourself off the hook by pretending your own choices didn’t change anything, jackass. This isn’t the last time he’s going to use the stupid prophecy as an excuse for acting like an asshole, either.
It gets even better as he adds that they can’t “deny the magic of Beltide night”. Oh, so we’re still pretending that wasn’t rape? Good to know.
He finally says “I will not let you go, nor lose you”. Screw her own wishes then, I guess. Azhure adds that he’s still going to marry Faraday and he answers that he has to because of that line in the stupid prophecy about Faraday lying with the man who kills her husband.
I love how he’s not even trying to resist the stupid prophecy. That or he’s just lying about it because he wants to make it with both hot chicks and has no interest in compromise. Or otherwise not getting what he wants, as and when he wants it.
Azhure says okay, she’ll leave, but Axis just tightens his grip on her and says he won’t let her, adding that Faraday will understand and surely Borneheld has lovers on the side. Because you totally want to emulate the bad guy who you HATE, amirite?
Picture unrelated. /sarcasmAzhure tries to break away from him, but is forcibly restrained (yes, really), and Axis repeats his earlier demand, ie. “Stay with me. Dance with me” (and it still isn't cute or romantic). He adds that “Faraday will accept you”. Seriously, dude? Seriously. You seriously think you can be with both of them and that this won’t cause any problems at all? He’s either delusional or even more of an egomaniac than I thought.
I'm REALLY not kidding. If you read the scene closely and pay attention to the body language, the whole thing SCREAMS emotional abuse with the barely implied threat of physical abuse on top if Axis doesn't get his way. You do NOT treat your significant other like this.Azhure angsts about the idea of being Axis’ mistress rather than his wife, and spares some sympathy for Faraday, correctly thinking that she won’t accept it without “deep hurt”.
Guess you should’ve married Belial when you had the chance, Azhure. Because if you had you wouldn’t be in this mess, now would you?
Things take a turn for the creepy – or rather even creepier – as Axis asks “Can you walk away from me, Azhure?”, presumably while still physically restraining her.
Emotional abuse? What emotional abuse? They're in loooove!
GODS I hate it how some fantasy authors resort to “magic” or “destiny” or some other such bullshit to make the favoured couple stay together in eternal One True Love whether they like it or not. Rather than, oh I don’t know, developing an actual relationship based on mutual respect or something like that.
It’s not just lazy – it’s fucking creepy and horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Even less so when the "perfect", "destined" romance is FUCKING ABUSIVE. How the HELL has no-one called this vile excuse for a novel out on it before now? Because if anyone has I haven't heard a thing about it. And now I'm just plain depressed because I know how many other women love this trilogy and think the female characters are just so relatable and strong and blah blah blah. This is worse than Fifty Shades.
Azhure proceeds to throw herself another pity party, as she has a “terrifying” imaginary image of Axis and Caelum three hundred years in the future, laughing and joking as they try to remember her name and fail. “Mistress and mother, long dead and gone from their thoughts”.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Shut up, Azhure. And if you seriously think your kid is going to forget your name and then laugh about it, you really must not have a very high opinion of him. (Rather hilariously, she’s actually being very prescient in expecting Caelum to grow up to be a jackass. But I suspect it wasn’t intentional).
Finally she agrees to stay with Axis anyway, and again she “hates” herself for doing so. Just as she did at Beltide when she gave in to the date rape spell thingy. What an amazing and wonderful relationship these two have. And it’s so healthy too.
Then Azhure picks up the Sue Baby and whispers to him, asking him to remember her name. Meanwhile I’m sitting here drumming my fingers on my desk because I know perfectly well that none of this is going to be followed through on. And really, given how much Azhure has been built up (and up, and up) and how much the author obviously loves her, nobody with a brain should be buying this. I know I’m not.
Cut to the next scene, thank all that's holy. It’s now Rivkah’s birthday, and Axis holds a celebration. It’s also a party to thank his forces, apparently, as all the commanding officers are invited along with a bunch of other people, and we’re informed that this is “the first gathering of what would eventually becomes Axis’ royal court”, and it’s “time for [him] to assume the mantle of claimant to the throne of Achar. [snip] Powerful and glorious, Axis now needed a court to reflect his power and glory.”
Yup, there he goes again, making it all about him. And yet again the author feels the need to lecture us about how very Wonderful and Special and Important Axis is. "Glorious" my ASS.
Oh, and now Axis has another title: “Sun-King”. You mean like the Emperor of China? Giving your protagonist lots of extra cool-sounding titles doesn’t make him any more interesting or likeable, you know.
(…Rivkah’s birthday? What birthday?)
Blah blah blah, descriptions of everyone being dressed up, there’s “goblets” and “wine glasses” and lots of food. I’ve mentioned this before, but where are they even getting all this food from? In THE MIDDLE OF WINTER?
Predictably we now move on to even more Sue worship as Axis and Azhure enter the “hall”, and yadda yadda they’re both regal and magnificent and “beautiful” and Caelum the Sue Baby is also beautiful and perfect and wonderful, etc. etc. This literally goes on for over a page.
Might I add, Rivkah is glaringly absent from this scene. Because it’s not like it’s her birthday or anything.
Azhure goes in among the guests and everyone wuvs her, and Axis telepathically tells her that she could command them just as easily as he does and that she shouldn’t “underestimate [snip] [her] power or [her] abilities”.
Look, she already has an ego the size of a continent, Axis. She really doesn’t need any encouragement.
It only gets better, as then Caelum uses telepathy as well. The kid isn’t even old enough to walk, or talk (aloud), and yet he’s able to talk to her telepathically using complete sentences.
He tells her he knows her name. Aww. That’s so adorable. No, wait, the other thing. Moronic, that’s it. And once again we see that Caelum really is just the male Renesmee and absolutely nothing like an actual baby.
Anyway, now Azhure is happy again, so the problem she had in the last scene has just been conveniently hand-waved, because gods forbid she have any actual problems, let alone any that are unsolvable. That sort of thing is for the rest of us peons to worry about, because we’re not Sues.
Might I add, there’s still no sign of Rivkah. You know, the person whose birthday it is.
Cut to Azhure talking to Roland, who of course has ditched Borneheld to join the Sues. Apparently he’s still in a bad way, and on his arrival told Axis that he waited this long to stab his friend Borneheld in the back because he’s dying, and didn’t See The Light until those three Ravensbund guys got whacked.
After this he was taken to bathe in the “Lake of Life” outside, which can apparently do chemotherapy because it shrank his cancer and has given him longer to live. But hasn’t cured him entirely. So... why not just bathe in it again?
Wait, weren’t we in the middle of a scene here? Stop infodumping, author! The pacing here is completely shot to hell!
Now we cut to Roland’s POV, and he’s – what else? – thinking about how awesome and special Azhure is. Apparently she has “an indefinable quality about her”, and is “witty” (on the basis of no evidence, naturally). Roland also notes how Caelum is Special, and wonders if it’s his “fairy blood”.
There are fairies now? Also, I hate to find myself correcting a medieval historian (again), but in Ye Medieval Times fairies were considered EVIL. If you were thought to be a “changeling child” left by the fairies (ie. you were probably autistic or mentally ill), this could easily result in you being, oh I don’t know, tortured to death by ignorant parents trying to “cure” you or bring back the original kid they think the fairies took.
But nope – in this lah lah land we just get the modern day version where fairies are harmless and wonderful and pretty.
Right out of nowhere Azhure mentions Nevelon and how he was taken by a gryphon. She actually has the gall to express pity at this state of affairs.
Aren’t you the person who shot the guy through the hand and threatened to kill him slowly, Azhure? The fuck do you care about his having met a horrible death? You are such a fucking hypocrite.
Roland is “startled” that she apparently read his mind (without permission? How incredibly rude! Not to mention creepy as hell. Also, since when did she have that ability?).
Azhure mentions that they also lost some friends to the gryphons (...such as? All the named Good Guys are still alive, you liar), and then apologises for having wounded Nevelon. Ahahahah, yeah, I’m not buying it. You didn’t give a fuck about him.
She then spouts a piece of “wisdom”, ie. “It takes courage to accept what strange turns life provides.” Which doesn’t really make a lot of sense if you think about it. Since when were “strange turns” something life “provided”? I'm having flashbacks to Zarq's random Ice Cream Koans in TBV, and that is very much not a good thing.
Naturally Roland responds by kissing her Sue ass, saying how he once advised Axis never to marry but oh how wrong he was because without Azhure none of this would have been possible and how Axis is lucky to have her, and how “your name is almost as legendary as his”.
Oh my god shut up. I can’t take any more of this! ARGH!
Mercifully Belial and EvenSong show up to interrupt the conversation, and they start talking about the wine they’re drinking while making vague references to Axis’ “supply routes”. Belial says that's thanks to Burdel – the Evil Noble who’s been executing people for talking about the stupid prophecy – who is “wreaking havoc” and so they’ve lost half their supplies. He asks Roland if this was Borneheld’s idea, and the answer is yes. Hampering your enemy by interfering with his supply routes - I see Teh Bad Guy Who Is So Bad is using sensible strategy again. How terrible.
Belial adds that soon they’ll have to move South, and Azhure leaves in a huff because that’s where Faraday is. I’m getting really sick of her little tantrums. You made your bed, sweetheart – deal with it.
Cut to Axis for another weak attempt at comic relief, as he’s being harangued by a merchant trying to hawk a load of useless merchandise. Har har, hardee har har. He’s rescued by Rivkah – oh, so you finally remembered she exists, did you? – and apparently she’s going for the mutton dressed as lamb look tonight, as she’s wearing a “revealing” black gown. Heavens!
The merchant’s buddy slips Axis a letter with Priam’s seal on it, which must be from former Queen Judith. He opens it, and let me guess – it’s going to be more Sue praise disguised as a plot point.
In her letter Judith says they haven’t had a good relationship so far but that’s just her fault. Nope, it definitely had nothing to do with Axis being a total asshole who was rude to everyone at every opportunity. She explains how Priam wanted to ally with him, and then goes on to say she considers him “the rightful heir” [WHY?], and that his “name and fame spread”. Of course. She tells him that if he comes to Embeth’s house he’ll be welcome.
Axis quickly burns the letter, and thinks about how Judith has risked a lot (unlike him).
Cut to – oh wow, something actually exciting! Or potentially so, anyway.
Ahem.
Cut to outside, where a “dark man” has just arrived. He goes over to the bridge and is asked if he’s true. He says yes and is invited to cross. Is it WolfStar finally showing up? Don’t get your hopes up; that would be too interesting.
Inside the Icarii Enchanters are still singing away and everyone’s dancing to something called the “Hey-de-Gie”, which is described in great detail because of course it is. Margarita invites Rivkah to dance and it’s all very romantic. Meanwhile Axis looks around for Azhure and spots her coming over to him. Belial is with her, and he brings up the topic of how they have to get moving soon.
Axis thinks about the contract with the GateKeeper and how he has to get a move on, and agrees while thinking about the “Lover” mentioned in the stupid prophecy. He wonders if it’s Faraday or Azhure. (Duh?).
Demi shows up and says Borneheld has gathered reinforcements and looks likely to march on Sigholt. Still being competent and proactive, I see. That monster.
Cut back to the stranger, who has made it to the keep. A guard stops him, but he reveals his face and says he has to travel with Axis and Azhure. The guard almost tells him to go away, but then Ogden and Veremund show up and say he’s “a good man” and “vital to the cause”, so he’s let in.
Cut back to Axis. After some praise for Margarita’s amazing dancing – apparently he was the best of the best, sir! despite having a lame leg – Axis calls for silence. He gets it and then starts making a speech.
This oughta be good.
He spouts some niceties about how great everyone’s been doing, while Possibly WolfStar watches secretly. For some reason he gets all teary at the sight of Axis and Azhure together, and he’s surprised to see Caelum.
While Axis keeps on blathering he catches StarDrifter’s eye and it’s mentioned that “for once” he’s looking at him instead of staring creepily at Azhure. That’s… really not a good thing, author.
Finally, after some rhetoric about rebuilding Tencendor, the “dark man” steps forward. I was actually fully expecting it to be WolfStar, but nope. It’s Raum. Fakeout!
For some reason, Azhure is shocked by what’s become of him. But we don’t get to find out what, because the scene is cut off there. That was a cheap trick, Douglass.
20 comments
bewdtamer19
June 3 2018, 14:11:27
a Ravensbundwoman named Imibe
For some reason, that name reminds me of Iblis. Eh, it's a fitting name to have when you're working with or for the devil.
it’s “an historian”, not “a historian”
Idiot asking here, but um, why do you need to use "an" instead of "a"?
Oh my GOD I GET it, Azhure is physically attractive! I DON’T CARE! What does this add to anything?
Oh, silly Epistler. We totally need to know that because it reminds us how super-mega-ultra special Azhure is!
he wuvs her and she isn’t just a casual fling
Considering the fact that Axis just fucked Faraday and then threw her away to chase after other women, that don't mean anything.
You seriously think you can be with both of them and that this won’t cause any problems at all?
Maybe he's trying to say that Faraday is into polyanormous relationship? Actually, three main characters in a polyanormous relationship would make this shit a bit more interesting.
Axis and Caelum three hundred years in the future, laughing and joking as they try to remember her name and fail.
...Seriously? This is supposed to be a love that is more truer and special than yours, and yet the woman sincerely believes that her man will just forget about her? As supposed to just remembering her fondly for the rest of his life? What?
It only gets better, as then Caelum uses telepathy as well. The kid isn’t even old enough to walk, or talk (aloud), and yet he’s able to talk to her telepathically using complete sentences.
Not!Renesmee, hmm? *loads up his shotgun for later*
theepistler
June 3 2018, 15:12:02
Idiot asking here, but um, why do you need to use "an" instead of "a"?
There's a long boring explanation for that, which you can read here.
Considering the fact that Axis just fucked Faraday and then threw her away to chase after other women, that don't mean anything.
Yeah, if I was with a guy who's a known womaniser and who ditched his last girlfriend on a whim just to be with me, I wouldn't be taking his word for it either.
Maybe he's trying to say that Faraday is into polyanormous relationship?
Actually he's just assuming he can talk her into one, even though she's shown absolutely no interest in polyamory. It's a classic case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. He refuses to ditch Azhure because she's hot and good in the sack, but he thinks he can somehow be with Faraday as well, and that Faraday won't be the least bit bothered by his infidelity. (Spoilers: She absolutely will not be okay with his infidelity, or the multiple bastard children).
...Seriously? This is supposed to be a love that is more truer and special than yours, and yet the woman sincerely believes that her man will just forget about her? As supposed to just remembering her fondly for the rest of his life? What?
Because if there's an opportunity to indulge in some whining and melodramatic self-pity, you can bet your ass Azhure's gonna take it. Even if she has to jump through hoops and cast aspersions on her own kid to do it.
Not!Renesmee, hmm? *loads up his shotgun for later*
Yup. The kid isn't treated like a human being at any point. He's an accessory. You know those people who have kids just because "babies are so cute!" and then parade them around in adorable little costumes? That's pretty much what we have here. A kid who's an accessory/pet, not a person.
cmdrnemo
June 3 2018, 16:42:45
According to your link there. Whether you use 'an historian' or 'a historian' depends on how strongly your accent pronounces the 'h'. There is apparently no right answer there. I have to say an historian. A historian sounds weird and wrong.
Like this book weird and wrong. Also Azhure and Axis aren't in an epic romantic relationship. They are in a dumpster fire. I don't think she has to worry about being forgotten. You never forget the first time you stand in fire.
bewdtamer19
June 3 2018, 17:24:06
Just finished reading the link you posted. Personally, I think it just comes down to how you pronounce historian. What is Sara Douglas's nationality, anyway?
theepistler
June 3 2018, 17:30:41
She was Australian. Over here the accepted form is "an historian".
bewdtamer19
June 3 2018, 17:47:13
Maybe she did use the correct version in the original, but the editor changed it when they exported it to other countries?
theepistler
June 3 2018, 17:50:59
Given all the other typos I've found in this book, I'd say it's just sloppy editing.
torylltales
June 3 2018, 16:46:30 Edited: June 3 2018, 17:01:51
Given Douglass's usual naming patterns, I'd happily accept Azhure over, say... SummerSkyBlue or LapisLazuli or something.
On the other hand, applying the "Azhure" name-making pattern to other objects... Lhapis Lhazuli sounds like a dog breed.
edit: I can't believe someone actually made this... a lapis lazuli lhasa apso.
Shared here because anything is more worthy of my attention than Azhure and Axis fawning over each other's nails.
theepistler
June 3 2018, 17:14:16
Thunderpuppy!
snarkbotanya
June 3 2018, 19:20:20
Azhure needs a maid because she’s so busy nowadays.
And yet she has time for the maid to style her fucking hair. Priorities! Next we'll be talking about the folds of her dress and shit.
…it’s “an historian”, not “a historian”, author. Weren’t you an fucking historian yourself?! Where the hell was the editor?!
To be fair to Douglass, the "a historian" vs "an historian" thing is a bit debated in this day and age. It's certainly one that trips me up; I like to be as stylemanual- accurate as possible, but "an historian" still sounds wrong to me, probably because I rarely elide my H's. The "an" is, after all, there because the H on an unstressed syllable sometimes elides.
Either way, the expletive infix would take an "a".
Azhure adds that he’s still going to marry Faraday and he answers that he has to because of that line in the stupid prophecy about Faraday lying with the man who kills her husband.
Here's a hint, Axis: marriage and sex are not mutually inclusive. You don't have to marry Faraday to sleep with her. Though either way you're still being an utter douchebag to her... but then, douchebaggery is par for the course for this arrogant dickwaffle, isn't it?
He’s either delusional or even more of an egomaniac than I thought.
Why not both? Because I'm pretty sure it's both.
This is worse than Fifty Shades.
Ehhh... I don't think I'd go that far. Axis is horrible, no doubt about it, but Christian Grey freaking pretends to be a Dom so that he has an excuse to beat his girlfriends, and also when Ana jokingly says it's over he breaks into her apartment and rapes her. In terms of sheer wrongness, he is very hard to top.
Hampering your enemy by interfering with his supply routes - I see Teh Bad Guy Who Is So Bad is using sensible strategy again.
And yet somehow, Axis still has enough supply to throw this ridiculous party. I can only conclude that the common people of Lakesview will be going to bed hungry for the next week.
theepistler
June 3 2018, 21:16:13
To be fair to Douglass, the "a historian" vs "an historian" thing is a bit debated in this day and age.
Says the woman who when I consulted her in private during the sporking process said "yes that's definitely incorrect". That's the last time I ask you for advice, you traitor.
Here's a hint, Axis: marriage and sex are not mutually inclusive. You don't have to marry Faraday to sleep with her.
I think the only reason nobody notices this ridiculously obvious oversight is because that would ruin the upcoming, uh, "plot twist". Which is that Axis doesn't marry Faraday. He just lies to her about Azhure by default, sleeps with her, gets her pregnant, then drops the bombshell after the fact and makes Azhure his Queen instead.
I know I keep saying this, but what exactly is noble and heroic about this piece of shit?
Ehhh... I don't think I'd go that far.
I take some considerable pride in saying I've never actually read Fifty Shades. And in any case, this is one of those nasty questions along the lines of "would you rather contract bubonic plague, or be thrown in a barrel of sulfuric acid?" (And I wish both would happen to Axis and Christian Grey, in that order).
I can only conclude that the common people of Lakesview will be going to bed hungry for the next week.
You know what sort of person throws an extravagant party with ridiculous amounts of food when people are starving? A villain. When Joffrey pulled a similar stunt in Game of Thrones, the populace were so infuriated they attacked him and his entourage and people were beaten to death by starving rioters.
snarkbotanya
June 3 2018, 21:28:09 Edited: June 3 2018, 21:29:37
Says the woman who when I consulted her in private during the sporking process said "yes that's definitely incorrect".
Did I? I don't recall... it is technically incorrect by style guide standards, I won't deny that, but that doesn't mean it doesn't sound weird to someone (me) whose accent doesn't tend to elide H's.
I think the only reason nobody notices this ridiculously obvious oversight is because that would ruin the upcoming, uh, "plot twist". Which is that Axis doesn't marry Faraday. He just lies to her about Azhure by default, sleeps with her, gets her pregnant, then drops the bombshell after the fact and makes Azhure his Queen instead.
O___O
WHAT
Axis, I think you need to be sent to douchebag rehab.
I take some considerable pride in saying I've never actually read Fifty Shades.
I haven't either, but I have read a rather thorough sporking.
And in any case, this is one of those nasty questions along the lines of "would you rather contract bubonic plague, or be thrown in a barrel of sulfuric acid?" (And I wish both would happen to Axis and Christian Grey, in that order).
True... and that would be a fitting end to both those douchecanoes.
You know what sort of person throws an extravagant party with ridiculous amounts of food when people are starving? A villain. When Joffrey pulled a similar stunt in Game of Thrones, the populace were so infuriated they attacked him and his entourage and people were beaten to death by starving rioters.
Eyyup. Yet another way in which Douglass proves that she totally picked the wrong side.
theepistler
June 3 2018, 21:41:10
WHAT
Oh yeah. Which is why I'm not buying it when he pretends to feel guilty about the whole situation. Because as you'll see, breaking the news about Azhure and Caelum is done in such a way that feels outright calculated to be as humiliating as possible for Faraday. He doesn't even have the basic decency to handle it in private. Oh no, he waits until he has a very big, very important audience.
snarkbotanya
June 3 2018, 22:39:10
I just... I can't even...
Axis SunSHIT, the best part of you dribbled down StarDumbfuck's leg thirty-odd years ago, you horrid, rotten little cumbubble! I hope Gorgrael tears out your heart, eats it, and dances on your grave.
*deep breaths*
Seriously, that little shit-nugget ought to be thrown into a volcano.
theepistler
June 3 2018, 22:50:29 Edited: June 3 2018, 22:53:23
I think the intention was to show that Axis is flawed and makes mistakes (and indeed Faraday is pretty much the only one who doesn't instantly forgive him for being an asshole). But he gets so much ridiculous over-the-top praise and adoration at all other times that it... really just doesn't work. The whole Faraday thing is the only time he doesn't get instantly let off the hook for doing something douchetastic. For one thing he at some point (possibly in this book) ties Azhure up and beats the shit out of her with a whip, but she just gets over it because "it was all a misunderstanding" or some bullshit like that.
Physically assaulting, raping and emotionally abusing his girlfriend? Zero consequences.
Torturing people to death without a trial? Zero consequences.
Being a rude little snot to people he's supposed to be allying with? Zero consequences.
Screwing Faraday over in the most vile way possible? Token consequences at best.
snarkbotanya
June 4 2018, 09:01:33
How absolutely disgusting. It's no wonder Axis is such a little shit: nobody's ever taught him to act any other way, including the goddamn author!
The "token consequences" thing is especially vile considering that the Avar supposedly support her and will be pissed if Axis fucks her over. Isn't that supposed to be something he doesn't want to happen?
bewdtamer19
June 4 2018, 17:10:02
Way I see it, Douglas tried to write Axis like Paolini writes Eragon. She wants him to flawed, complex character who readers can relate to, but at the same she wants him to be the most perfect, badass, hot, butter-wouldn't-melt-in-his-mouth kind of guy. She wants it both ways. The end result?
An unbelievably flawless, narcissistic douchebag of a character who is never allowed to lose or be wrong about something, who everybody sings praises to. Fuck that.
theepistler
June 4 2018, 17:35:21
Yeah, that's pretty much it. She wants him to be "flawed" but also clearly adores the guy and can't bear to let him suffer any sort of meaningful loss or consequences. (And it's the same with Azhure). The result? An asshole who keeps getting let off the hook for no very good reason.
There are plenty of characters who are objectively speaking, douchebags. But plenty of them are likeable in spite of their bad behaviour (Shakespeare's Richard the Third, Sherlock Holmes, Rick from Rick and Morty, Bojack Horseman, and so on). The difference is that with likeable douchebags you see other characters react appropriately, and you see them suffer the consequences for acting like jerks. Of course, it helps if you can also make the douchebag character funny and entertaining, which all of the above are.
With unlikeable douchebag characters like Axis you keep waiting for the other characters to catch on, or for the author to become aware that the character is a huge asshole and write him accordingly... and yet it never happens. And Axis isn't even fun to read about, most likely because of that. So instead of hoping he'll realise his faults and become a better person, as we do with the douchebags we like, I just want him to die horribly.
hergrim
June 4 2018, 20:28:35
A more realistic depiction of a talking baby.
I thought we could all use a bit of laughter after this awful, awful chapter.
theepistler
June 4 2018, 20:35:26
Heheheheh, nice one.