Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty-Two

[pangolin20]

theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-06-10 10:07:00

LOCATION: United Kingdom,
MOOD: jittery
MUSIC: Creature Feature - The Greatest Show Unearthed

Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty-Two

The next chapter cuts to Borneheld. Oh great, now we get to see the author dump on the poor sod again. I so didn’t miss that. He’s with Jayme, who’s in a foul mood and thinking about how Borneheld is an oaf who has lost half the Kingdom. He starts ranting about how Axis has captured Skarabost, which we didn’t get to see. I guess Early Birdel died? I don’t know; it’s not brought up.

Apparently Axis is now poised to seize two other provinces, and Borneheld is just sitting back and letting him do it. As for Borneheld himself he’s hoping Jayme will eventually shut up. When this doesn’t work he yells back at him about how he’s been out there fighting and risking his backside repeatedly while Jayme just sits around in luxury, manipulating people. He then breaks into italics, yelling that: “You have NO idea of what it is like to command an army that is half dead from fatigue and sad-heartedness!”

Ooh, that line was so close to almost being good. But then you had to go and ruin it with the “sad-heartedness” bit. This dialogue sucks so much.

Jayme throws it back in his face, pointing out the loss of Gherkinfort and the desertion of the Ravensbund, who somehow managed to get their entire army out of there despite there being sentries posted. I’m still not buying that. At all.

Borneheld for once doesn’t flare up and says he’ll let Axis come to him once his army is worn out and damaged from all the battles they’ve already fought, and then squash them with his own well-rested troops. Jayme whines that Axis will destroy the Fantasy Vatican well before he reaches Borneheld, and then mentally whines to himself about how everything’s gone straight to hell for him. He then self-righteously tells Borneheld that he can hear the “weeping souls” of the people of Skarabost and spins a pack of lies about how the Icarii are sacrificing children and raping the women (well, the second one is really not far off, to be fair).

Borneheld gets uncomfortable and thinks about the nightmares he’s been having, in which he sees the woman Axis met at the gates to the underworld. Apparently she keeps telling him she’s waiting for him to come to her, calling him Duke rather than King and saying his “blood condemns [him]” and how he’s going to die soon. Dude, spoilers! And apparently it’s somehow Borneheld’s fault that he’s related to people the gatekeeper personally dislikes, which doesn’t smack of bigotry at all.

Also, great job of making me feel sorry for the supposed villain again, author.

Cut to Faraday, who is as usual thinking about Axis. We’re reminded yet again that she’s ditched “Artor and his cruel and shallow ways”. How do we know he’s cruel or shallow? We barely know anything about this religion. Anyway, Faraday’s happy that Axis is on his way and has been listening to a lot of wild rumours. Yr is able to pass her information she gets from the captain of the guards, who is apparently “darkly virile”, whatever that means. I guess it was important that we be reminded of Yr’s sole personality trait, ie. being slutty.

We’re informed that when Borneheld came back to Carlon he relieved Faraday of all her queenly duties, though supposedly she was pretty much running the country while he was away. How does a bubble-headed eighteen year old girl know anything about running a country anyway?

Borneheld has officially given up on his unfaithful wife and has now found himself a girlfriend. Apparently it’s the same “blowsy woman” who Faraday’s dad was previously dating. For some reason the author always seems to use the term “blowsy” to refer to women characters we’re not supposed to like. I looked it up and it means either “ruddy in complexion” or “messy and shabby-looking”. I have no idea which one applies in this case, but let’s all boo and hiss at this nameless woman who likes sleeping with rich guys. What a horrible person she is. Double standard? What double standard? (And if Borneheld is King, why would he be shacking up with a woman who dresses like a transient?)

Anyway, now Faraday has a lot of free time on her hands she spends most of it wandering around the Sacred Grove and chatting with Ur, who is teaching her the names and histories of “tens of thousands of Banes” who have become trees. This results in Faraday becoming friends with the seedlings.

No, really. She’s friends with a load of pot plants now. Someone really shouldn’t have stopped taking her meds.

Also, she’s somehow able to memorise the names of forty-two thousand of the things. Nope, I’m not buying it. Not even close. Unless you have a photographic memory, this is simply not possible.

Cut to Raum, who’s still in a lot of pain. Which, oops, Faraday is causing every time she goes into the Sacred Grove. He even asks himself “why me?”, and Jackass replies that he’s the one who bonded Faraday to the Mother, so maybe that’s why.

Cut back to Faraday, who apparently knows what’s going on, but there’s nothing she can do about it until he’s able to enter the grove himself, which he can’t do right now because he’s so far from home. Guess he shouldn’t have bothered walking all that way, then.

We also learn that Faraday doesn’t need the magic bowl to enter the grove any more because now she can go there at any time, whenever she wants, for free. Yes, just keep removing all the limitations on the characters’ powers as it suits you, author. It's not incredibly lazy or anything.

She keeps the bowl as a souvenir, and cheerfully tells Yr that she can’t wait to be with Axis again.

Yeaaah, you’re really going to regret saying that later on, Faraday.

The next chapter is called “Axis’ Salutary Lesson”. Did I mention these chapter titles are ridiculous? Because yeah. And I guess we’re about to see Axis lay down the law to some of those poor ignorant non-Sues, hooray. Expect a lot of self-righteous douchebaggery. You know, again.

We open with some description. Apparently Early Birdel’s men are hanging out in some mountains and it’s going to be hard to get them out of there. Axis “loath[es]” the idea of siccing the Icarii on fellow humans because now apparently lingering prejudice is actually an issue. But unfortunately it looks like he’s going to have to go ahead and do that anyway.

Cut to the giant prick himself, pacing around in his “blood-red cloak”. No, I don’t know why we keep being reminded that the red cloak is red, but there you go. Is it really a good idea to make yourself this visible when you’re a commanding officer? Are snipers and assassins not a thing in this world?

The battle is currently taking place off-screen, and Axis reports it to Belial at second hand. Predictably, no Icarii have been lost and only the baddies have had any casualties. Just as predictably the baddies lose and Early Birdel pulls his men out of the mountain pass and heads back to Arcen, capital of Arcness (no really). Margarita remarks that this will mean a siege and Axis mentally grouses about how the place has “high walls, thick battlements and a good militia”, and besieging it will take months – time he doesn’t have.

Oh no! What will our hero do?!

Oh thank goodness, here’s Azhure. She knows all about military strategy! – maybe she can help!

Azhure is currently sulking and has been ever since the visit to Faraday’s house. Even Axis, slow on the uptake as he is, has noticed this, and yet he somehow hasn’t had any second thoughts about the getting with both chicks idea he had in his last chapter. Is this guy denser than a neutron star or what? Either way his selfishness remains truly monumental.

By the way, did I mention that TVTropes lists Axis as an “Asshole With a Heart of Gold”? Because so far I’ve seen plenty of Asshole, and absolutely no Heart of Gold. In fact I’ve seen very little Heart, period. I checked Amazon, and even big fans of the trilogy complained about what an awful person Axis becomes in this book (and he was already a huge jerk to begin with). That at least I can agree with.

Azhure suggests sending the Icarii after Early Birdel, but the answer is no, bad idea because reasons. Instead they ride off together and meet up with FarSight, who “now head[s] an elite fighting force”. Not that we actually got to see them in action or anything, of course. As always you’ll just have to take the author’s word for it.

Then – oh no – StarDrifter shows up. He mentions that they’re close to Fernbrake Lake – the place where Faraday was initiated. He wants to go and check it out but Axis says forget it. StarDrifter is pissed and whines about how the Icarii want their sacred sites back, wah wah, and Axis responds with some beautifully awful dialogue:

“Curse your impulsive nature, StarDrifter. It is too dangerous for you to fly off on a whim to view Fernbrake Lake. [snip] Think, StarDrifter, damn you!”

Because that’s totally how people talk, right?

StarDrifter finally gives in and Axis thinks about how all the Icarii enchanters are “beginning the arduous task of recovering the lost sites of the Icarii people”. Wait, what? How are they “recovering” them? Could I get a little clarification here? No? Well screw you, then.

And then the scene just kind of cuts off with a completely unrelated line about the army moving on. Well… okay then. Guess the author just got bored or something.

Cut to the next scene, as they arrive at Arcen. Axis asks Belial, Margarita and Demi Moore for advice, but they’re pretty much stumped. Axis angsts about how he only has three months to get his butt to the capital and murder Borneheld, or otherwise FreeFall won’t come back to life and continue to have absolutely no relevance to the plot.

But then Axis comes up with a Plan! What is the Plan? I don’t know. He just tells the commanders what to do, end scene. Therefore the plan will succeed.

…The suspense!!

In the next scene we find that they’ve set up camp as if for a siege, and Axis strolls around unarmed and chatting with his cronies. Naturally we’re informed that the people in the city admire him and have heard of the stupid prophecy and so on.

So it looks like the siege is going to be won with a nice dose of Sue Power. …You know, again.

The next morning Axis asks Azhure to wear her pretty black ballgown from the party. Wait, why did she bring that with her? He also tells her to leave her hair loose, which she does while thinking about how she suspects she’s pregnant but hasn’t told Axis. She thinks about how she really doesn’t want to face Faraday while visibly pumped full of more Axis Babies. Guess you should’ve made the creep wear a condom, Azhure.

Outside Rivkah is waiting, also dressed up, and Axis hands Azhure the Wolven and tells her to “look like a fairy creature”. Um, how? Is she supposed to throw some glitter on herself and go “too-wit-ta-woo” while prancing around a mushroom? And again, aren’t these people supposed to think fairies and magic are EVIL?

Basically, Axis just asked Azhure to try and make herself look like THIS charming lady.

Meanwhile Axis is all dressed up and looks like a “sun god”, because of course he does, and they walk up to the city gates. Early Birdel looks down at them and wonders what the hell they’re up to. Axis calls out a hello to him and also to some guy named – I kid you not – “Culpepper Fenwicke”. Man some parents are just cruel.

Or maybe he's just the heir to a big cookie fortune. Er, pun not intended.

Predictably, Culsaltnpepper is already an Axis Fan, having met him before just once, which is all it takes when you’re a Sue, and thinks about how “his respect now deepened tenfold”. Because… Axis mentioned him by name? Give me a break. He's on your doorstep with an army of fucking demons, you complete and total nincompoop! Axis exchanges some pleasantries with the guy, and then smarmily tells him his city has “dangerous criminals within” (ie. people who disagree with Axis, who as we well know are the evilest thing that ever evilled because shut up they just are). He demands that Early Birdel and his henchmen be handed over.

Early Birdel, being a cardboard cutout eeeevil guy, snaps back that Axis is half Forbidden and destroying the country. Axis, still setting off every Smarm Alarm in a ten mile radius, introduces Rivkah and says she can “clarify some of your misapprehensions”. I seriously just want to reach into the page and smack him – the levels of smug are off the freaking charts.

Rivkah starts talking, helped by some magical amplification from Axis. She tells Culpepper about how Jayme stole her son and left her to die. Conveniently, everyone believes her because Axis is also using “the Song of Truth-Seeing” – a spell which has never been mentioned before which forces people to recognise the truth when they hear it.

Yeah, this is one of those stories where “magic” is basically just a Deus ex Machina for making whatever the author wants to happen happen, as and when it’s convenient. Faced with an obstacle? Too stupid and unimaginative to come up with an intelligent solution? That’s okay – there’s a spell for that… suddenly… which totally existed all along shut up it so totally did.

There’s a term for this, and it’s lazy writing.

Rivkah goes on to tell everyone that, groan, Axis is the StarMan Mary Sue Special Guy Who’s Really Special and he “acts only for the truth” (except when he lies to people’s faces so he can keep screwing Azhure) and is “incapable of anything less” (except when he betrays the shit out of the woman he supposedly loves, but that doesn’t “count”, apparently, because who cares about Faraday?).

Axis takes his turn and pompously goes on about how Early Birdel has killed people who “sought to follow the way of truth”, and how “Truth-seekers have ever been persecuted”. Shut up, Axis. Seriously. I want to put an iron jaw clamp on this guy and throw him off a cliff.

Then he shows everyone a magical illusion of all the people we don’t know and don’t care about, looking worse for wear while hanging from crosses. Everyone is suitably horrified despite this being Ye Medieval Times with witch burnings and public executions and such. Shouldn’t they be used to traitors and heathens meeting a nasty end? Shouldn’t someone be yelling that they had it coming for spreading heathenistic pro-Axis propaganda?

If only.

Upping the melodrama, Axis lets everyone hear the final thoughts of the dead people we care so much about. At first they do things like think about their loved ones, but then – GAH – they all start thinking about Axis and how Axis is so great and how Axis will save/avenge them. Yup, as usual it’s all about him. Even people’s tragic deaths are all about him. Even while people are DYING it’s all about Axis and how great he is. Axis, Axis, Axis.

And then the author quickly assures us that Axis isn’t just making this up; they totally did die worshipping the ground he walks on.

Excuse me a moment… I just need some catharsis.

FUUUUUUUCKKKKK YOOOOOOOUUUUUU!

...Nope, I'm still nauseated and enraged beyond belief.

Continuing with the “please sympathise with the supposed hero” theme, Axis melodramatically declares that he just can’t take it any more, baaaww, and stops the spell before slumping on the spot. Inside the city everyone starts CRYING, including hardened soldiers.

ARGH FUCK YOU NO, NOT LIKE THIS!

Axis reiterates that Early Birdel is a criminal and demands that he be handed over. Birdbrain starts yelling uselessly about how he’s Culpepper’s overlord, and then orders him not to listen to Axis. What are you, six?

Axis tells him he has the Best Archers Ever and will destroy the city if he doesn’t get what he wants. Yeah, magical coercion and emotional blackmail not working? Just resort to violent threats! It’s the StarMan way.

He then uses the eagle to show Azhure a melon on the other side of the walls, and after telling everyone about said melon he gets her to shoot it. Naturally she hits the melon dead on, and Axis tells Salt ‘n’ Pepper that his archers can do that again, but next time it’ll be people’s heads.

As you would expect this does the trick, and Birdbrain is handed over with a few guys who tried to protect him. We’re assured that it wasn’t the threat which made up Pepperidge Farm’s mind, but the dramatic vision of “those that [Big Bird] had murdered”.

Handy rule of thumb: When the designated bad guys kill someone who likes Axis, it’s “murder”. When the designated good guys kill someone who doesn’t like Axis, it’s “justice”. Therefore, the following example of Axis having people who don’t agree with him killed without a trial or any sort of due process is to be considered morally good as a matter of course.

Because this isn’t a world that runs on real accepted human morality. This is a Mary Sue story, so therefore all morality is protagonist centered by default.

The soldiers are quickly stabbed to death, but Birdbrain and his sons are crucified. Axis, Mr Nobility and Goodness, stands and watches them die slowly over the next few hours and declares that this is “a salutary lesson”. The lesson of course being that if you disagree with the designated hero, you deserve a slow and horrible death along with your family. And I’d just like to reiterate that none of these guys got a trial first, or any chance to defend themselves whatsoever, which essentially makes this just petty revenge and murder on Axis’ part.

And here I was thinking half the point of heroism was being better than your enemies and not stooping to their methods while using the exact same justification they did. Silly me.

Fuck you, Axis.

21 comments

bewdtamer19
June 10 2018, 14:59:28
By the way, did I mention that TVTropes lists Axis as an “Asshole With a Heart of Gold”?

Not just that. I'd been to the site, and they also listed how Axis is also a deconstruction of Jerkass with Heart of Gold and Marty Stu. Both this and the example you listed above makes me wonder what the hell kind of drug the tropers were on when they wrote that. That, or they were imagining a different story.

R E P L Y

theepistler
June 10 2018, 15:09:01 Edited: June 10 2018, 15:09:20
Whut. How is one of the biggest examples of a Sue I've ever seen any sort of "deconstruction"? Axis' Sueness is played 100% straight, irony-free, and it's never highlighted or commented on by the text, or other characters.

This smacks of Eragon fans trying to claim that Eragon's murderous behaviour and lack of empathy are supposed to be "flaws" rather than just bad characterisation. Protip: If none of the other characters EVER notice and react appropriately, it wasn't intentional.


bewdtamer19
June 10 2018, 15:19:52

That's not the only entry that frustrated me. On the Moral Event Horizon entry, they listed Borneheld. They cited the event when he killed FreeFall. Jesus, even from fans and readers, he is still constantly shited on and shunned.

I do love TVTropes, but there are a few times when its hit-or-miss with them.


theepistler
June 10 2018, 15:28:43

Yeeaaah, killing someone you were raised to think is an evil monster isn't crossing any sort of moral event horizon. At absolute worst you could call it "misguided". That trope is bullshit.

I'll tell you who DOES cross the moral event horizon, and that's Axis. When he rapes Azhure. And again here when he has several people tortured to death without a trial. And then WATCHES THEM DIE.


snarkbotanya
June 10 2018, 15:29:22

Also, she’s somehow able to memorise the names of forty-two thousand of the things. Nope, I’m not buying it. Not even close. Unless you have a photographic memory, this is simply not possible.

I wouldn't even buy it if she did have a photographic memory. The world record for reciting digits of π is 67890... but previous records were a bit below 42k, and these are single digits we're talking about. Names are far more complex, and with that many people a bunch of them are just going to be the same, which adds distinguishing all the Johns from each other as a factor in Faraday's memorization. Additionally, those people who memorize digits of π aren't the people with photographic memories; they're people who develop mnemonics and practice memorizing things with them all the damn time. Being able to remember large lists of things is hard fucking work.

On top of that, human brains simply aren't wired to deal with such large numbers of people. There's a reason smaller-name celebrities tend to be more personally interested in their fans than the big names, and it's not "fame hasn't gotten to their heads as much" or even "bigger names don't have the time to take an interest in all their fans" (though the latter certainly is a factor, and the former can be), but because their brain just cannot keep track of everyone. Faraday does not have the mental or social capacity to be friends with so many individuals, and that's not a dig at her, it's a goddamn fact.

Is it really a good idea to make yourself this visible when you’re a commanding officer? Are snipers and assassins not a thing in this world?

Believe it or not, real-life medieval commanders did make themselves as visible as possible on the battlefield, and it wasn't just to show off, but also a kind of life insurance. Fancy clothing and heraldry meant that the person wearing it had money, which meant that it was often more profitable to their opponents to capture and ransom them than outright kill them. Some knights and nobles even went into battle with standards saying that whoever captured them would receive some exorbitant sum of money.

Of course, despite being a medieval historian, Douglass never makes any mention of this and pretty much treats it just as showing off.

Axis, Mr Nobility and Goodness, stands and watches them die slowly over the next few hours and declares that this is “a salutary lesson”.

Note that when Borneheld had people crucified, he wasn't actually there. He just came by to make sure everything was done right. Axis, on the other hand, stands there and watches as their lives slip away, and then fucking congratulates himself on it. Yeah, clearly Axis is the hero here.

theepistler
June 10 2018, 15:49:45

Basically, the ludicrous number of tree friends (lol did u see wat i did ther) is nothing but a further example of the author thinking that exaggerating everything to a ridiculous degree will make it more "epic". Rather than, y'know, more ridiculous. Paolini has the same issue, but quite possibly even more so.

Of course, despite being a medieval historian, Douglass never makes any mention of this and pretty much treats it just as showing off.

Yeah, I'm calling coincidence. Plus despite his fancy getup, Axis does not have any personal wealth that's ever referred to, nor any wealthy relatives willing to pay ransom for him. And Borneheld has at no point suggested he wants him alive, or offered a reward for his capture. The enemy very much just wants him dead. As do the rest of us.

Yeah, clearly Axis is the hero here.

Yup. Definitely. You can tell by the way the author lets him off the hook for torturing these guys to death without even bothering to find out whether they're guilty of anything first.

snarkbotanya
June 10 2018, 16:07:03 Edited: June 10 2018, 16:07:30

Speaking of warfare things, this book's depiction of medieval warfare, hell, warfare in general, is fucking ridiculous. I'm not an expert like Hergrim, but I do know that Axis's army not taking any casualties is evidence not that Axis is a great commander, but that Sara Douglass is completely disconnected from reality. No one is so good a commander that they won't take any casualties in a large-scale military operation like this. I could perhaps see it if it was just a quick, get-in-then-get-right-out attack meant to harass the enemy and decrease morale rather than defeat them outright, but that doesn't seem to be what these characters do, like, ever. Which brings me to another point, which is that this book seems to make a common fantasy novel (and pretty much every other form of popular media, really) error: assuming that the goal of an army is always to kill the opposing army in as close to its entirety as possible rather than, you know, breaking their morale and forcing them to surrender.


theepistler
June 10 2018, 16:33:29

Yeah, and even more ridiculously we keep being told Axis is a brilliant commander and yet every time there's a situation he could solve using his leet skilz he just gets out of it via some sort of stupid deus ex machina before it becomes necessary to use any strategy whatsoever.

...assuming that the goal of an army is always to kill the opposing army in as close to its entirety as possible rather than, you know, breaking their morale and forcing them to surrender.

Something else a lot of authors seem unaware of is that in this day and age, taking the FPS approach of shooting every enemy combatant in the building and leaving no survivors is actually considered a war crime.

Thing is, if Axis were actually an heroic character he'd be doing whatever he can to minimise deaths on both sides. Instead he's quite happy to just kill everyone who gets in his way en masse, and he's so uninterested in diplomacy that he whines about having to be nice to a guy he personally dislikes and then spends the entire meeting deliberately antagonising the shit out of him. And in an upcoming "negotiation" scene with a couple of other guys, you'll see Axis spend the entire thing threatening to murder the pair of them and slaughter their armies if he doesn't get his way, merely because they had the gall to ask him for some kind of benefits in return for helping him. (Seriously).

This just makes him look like even more of a hypocrite after the completely boring climactic battle in which thousands die, when there's a lot of handwringing about how unnecessary the whole war was and "oh if only there had been another way to resolve this!" Yeah, maybe having the maturity to resolve your differences with Borneheld would have helped.

Anonymous
June 12 2018, 18:04:05

You know, this can be our private joke. Axis is such a mighty sue, the crows fly on their backs above him. Douglas thought she was making Axis more impressive by making him wear finery into battle, when in reality, his clothes scream, 'Please don't kill me! I have money!'

-TTT


theepistler
June 12 2018, 19:42:45 Edited: June 12 2018, 19:48:47

Axis = Peacock.


vorpal_tongue
June 10 2018, 20:25:33

And then the author quickly assures us that Axis isn’t just making this up; they totally did die worshipping the ground he walks on.

... You fucking what? The most they would have known about the guy, in context of their beliefs, is that he's a damn heretic who sided with demons and monsters and is now marching with said demons and is going to potentially wipe them out. Hell, the only way it would realistically work is if Early Birdy was somehow worse than the Icarii.

Continuing with the “please sympathise with the supposed hero” theme, Axis melodramatically declares that he just can’t take it any more, baaaww, and stops the spell before slumping on the spot.

And not a minute later he ends up looking like a mood swinger in front of everyone when he says he'll kill everyone in the hold.

Actually, scratch that, his mood swing was probably on steroids here. "Oh, boohoo, you killed your people! SURRENDER OR I WILL KILL THEM ALL!"


theepistler
June 10 2018, 22:01:49

Literally all those dead people had to go on is the stupid prophecy, which tells you basically nothing. It's moronic. And then there's the fact that the Skraelings have NEVER attacked this area, so they don't even have any motivation to be looking for a hero to save them from Gorgrael. For all they know the guy doesn't even exist!

And yeah, you're on point about Axis having a major mood swing here. That he goes from "boohoo it's so horrible those people got crucified!" to "okay, imma crucify you now" at the flip of a switch just makes this bit even more hypocritical and evil.

vorpal_tongue
June 11 2018, 18:53:12

I had to go over the prophecy again to see if anything actually alludes to Axis. And... it doesn't for anyone who doesn't know anything but.

So, essentially, they're going to let in a man with a prophecy that's heresy and potential delusions of grandeur who's demonstrated a flip of personalities faster than they can blink.

So, put it this way, would YOU let him in?

theepistler
June 11 2018, 21:13:13

Yeah, the prophecy is so vague in the essentials that it's pretty much useless. Nor is there anything in it to prove that it's even about Axis in the first place.
For all they know he could just be using it as a ploy to sucker people into joining his side. Basically all it tells you is that some guy who you don't know who it is is going to fight some other guy.

Who they have no reason to believe even exists.

That this thing is enough to convert people all on its own is laughable.

Anonymous
June 12 2018, 18:15:46

The siege reminds me of a story from the Bible in 2 Samuel 20:15-22. Joab and his army were pursuing a rebel named Sheba. He hid in the city called Abelc Beth Maakah. While Joab and his army were battering the walls to bring it down, a wise woman reasoned with Joab and told him to stop destroying the city. Joab said the army will leave if they hand over Sheba. The people of the city cut off Sheba's head and threw it over the city walls, and the army went back.

-TTT


hergrim
June 12 2018, 19:47:54

The really weird part of this is the presence of a decent civic militia, which is probably an example of Douglass' degree shining through for a heartbeat. Fantasy novels almost never mention or give credit to civic militias which is a shame, because they were an important part of medieval warfare in the periods most fantasy authors favour.

Cut to the giant prick himself, pacing around in his “blood-red cloak”. No, I don’t know why we keep being reminded that the red cloak is red, but there you go. Is it really a good idea to make yourself this visible when you’re a commanding officer? Are snipers and assassins not a thing in this world?

Honestly, the only times when a pre-modern commander should avoid wearing distinctive and expensive clothing is a) when scouting, b) when examining siegeworks in less than full armour or c) when making a point of sharing in their soldiers' trials and tribulations. I suppose there's also d) because they're pious, but even St. Louis wore fustian which, although less expensive than silk, was still an expensive cloth.

Expensive and elaborate clothing was a status symbol, and it was necessary to wear it as often and as openly as possible in order to maintain that status.
For career soldiers it was even more important, as their clothing and equipment were often their most valuable possessions and a jewelled sword was as much an easy way to carry around their wealth as it was a display of that wealth and prestige.

In battle, finery would be worn in combination with heraldry not just to emphasise the status of the wearer but also to make him stand out. The more visually distinct a man was, the more people would notice his deeds on the battlefield and the more his reputation would grow. While fabulous clothing did help alert the victors to men who would net them a good ransom, this was only a secondary effect.

So, to this extent, Douglass is using fancy clothing completely in line with medieval expectations, and is probably why Axis has Azhure pretty herself up outside the city. That way he could present them as a power couple, beautiful and rich, with all the power and legitimacy this would have implied to the medieval mind. It shouldn't have worked as well as it did, but it was a legitimate political tactic, meant to work on the subconscious level.

Now, in a different world where Douglass was a good writer, she could have had Borneheld deliberately choose to wear his battle worn clothing or
clothing of a lesser quality and more soldier like cut and play up his personal role in the combat and how he's a soldier's soldier, not some bastard who arrogantly dresses like he's a king and surely wouldn't fight personally, lest he muss his pretty hair, etc. That would have been interesting, at least.


theepistler
June 12 2018, 20:20:48
Okay, that does make sense. I should have thought of that.

Interestingly, you pretty much never get any descriptions of what Borneheld is wearing. That sort of thing is reserved for the Sues.


hergrim
June 13 2018, 04:44:35
No worries. Sometimes it's just really hard to remember how alien the medieval mind is compared to ours.

theepistler
June 13 2018, 10:00:04 Edited: June 13 2018, 10:00:17

Yeah, and a lot of people make the mistake of assuming that fantasy novels are an accurate depiction of medieval life and thinking, which is why in sporks like this we always jump on inaccuracies when we think we spot one. We're just not necessarily always right.


hergrim
June 13 2018, 11:57:00
Fortunately everyone here is more often right - or at least aware enough that an author is wrong - than the majority of fantasy authors.

Yeah, and a lot of people make the mistake of assuming that fantasy novels are an accurate depiction of medieval life and thinking

*glares at ASOIAF fans*


theepistler
June 13 2018, 12:19:43

Research. It matters.

I'm glad to say that even when I was a GoT fan I didn't think it was a freaking history textbook, even if I did find it realistic on its own terms. Because I'm not an idiot.