Brisingr Spork: Bloodwolf
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predak123 wrote in Antishurtugal, 2017-01-28 17:22:00
Brisingr Spork: Bloodwolf
Chapter 11: Bloodwolf
This chapter is 14 pages long, and, much like the chapters before and after it, is fairly pointless. Nasuada starts her day and then hears that the elves are approaching. They go out to meet them and find that their leader is a furry (because why not), and the chapter ends.
By my calculations, from counting lines, counting average words in a line, and number of pages, that’s over 5,300 words dedicated to something I summed up in 33 words. So at least Paolini is being true to form.
This may seem off topic, but bear with me for a moment. Do you remember that song that was on the radio (at least in the states) this last year, called “Lost Boy”:
It was amateurish, and rough, and frankly had no business being on the pop charts. I actually liked it quite a bit, mostly for those reasons; there’s something inherently charming about a beginner’s work. You can see their enthusiasm and passion, even if talent is lacking in some respects. That’s part of why I like the blue brick the best out of the four; you can tell that Paolini was an amateur, but he was also having a good time.
Brisingr, on the other hand, is still just as amateurish, still maintains a feeling of “this is a first draft,” and has absolutely none of the charm.
Let’s jump in, shall we?
Our first big issue we run into in this chapter is Paolini, once again, focusing on the wrong thing by listing what should be the focus of the drama in the same way you’d list what you had for breakfast:
Nasuada spent the next few hours reviewing the Varden’s latest inventory reports, calculating the number of wagon trains she would need to move the Varden farther north, and adding and subtracting rows of figures that represented the finances of her army. She sent messages to the dwarves and Urgals, ordered the bladesmiths to increase the production of spearheads, threatened the Council of Elders with dissolution—as she did most every week —and otherwise attended to the Varden’s business. Then, with Elva at her side, Nasuada rode out on her stallion, Battle-storm, and met with Trianna, who had captured and was busy interrogating a member of Galbatorix’s spy network, the Black Hand.
This small paragraph, that is completely inconsequential to the rest of the book, raises a lot of questions:
- They’re moving the Varden farther north? Why? How are they getting wagon trains? Who is supplying them with goods? Are they well equipped? Are they having troubles finding resources? More background on this would easily raise the drama and tension, but instead we’re left to assume that everything is hunky-dory, which is incredibly boring.
- Is Nasuada doing her own accounting? Why? Why not have Jeod or someone like that do the book-keeping? And how are the finances? Good? Bad? Is she worried about things?
- What messages to the dwarves and Urgals? What does she need to communicate to them? What’s going on with these groups?
- Why do they need more spearheads? Are the soldiers ill-equipped? Why the focus on spearheads? Are they planning or anticipating a melee fight?
- Why do we need to know the name of her horse?
- She’s threatening the Council of Elders with dissolution?!
- They’ve captured one of Galbatorix’s spies?!
Likewise, capturing one of Galbatorix’s spies. Where was he captured? How did they capture and identify him as a spy? Was it in or near the camp? Does Galbatorix therefore know where the Varden is and mean they need to run for it? How is he being “interrogated”? Does that mean torture? Probing his brain? What was he trying to learn from the Varden? How does Nasuada feel about interrogations and interrogation methods? Why is Trianna in charge of the interrogation, anyway?
But, just like the last scenario, we don’t get to know any real answers to any of that; the next paragraph begins with, “As she and Elva left Trianna’s tent…”. Because gleaning information about your enemy, Galbatorix, whom you are at war with, is not nearly as important as the rest of the chapter.
A man starts running through the tents toward Nas, yelling that “the elves are here! The elves have arrived!” Her guards form a circle around her to stop the potentially crazy guy from getting to her. Nas realizes that these are the spellcasters Islanzadi sent to protect Eragon.
“Quick, my horse,” she said, and snapped her fingers. Her forearms burned as she swung herself onto Battle-storm. She waited only long enough for the nearest Urgal to hand her Elva, then drove her heels into the stallion.
Please note, at this point, that someone brought Nas her horse (I’d assume one of her guards) and that an Urgal (also presumably one of her guards) hands her Elva. This will be important in a moment.
Nas rides through the tents to the northern end of the camp, where she and Elva start looking for the newcomers. Angela shows up out of nowhere, and Nas asks how she got there so fast.
“Oh well, I like to know what’s going on, and being there is so much faster than waiting for someone to tell me about it afterward. Besides, people always leave out important pieces of information, like whether someone’s ring finger is longer than their index finger, or whether they have magical shields protecting them, or whether the donkey they are riding happens to have a bald patch in the shape of a rooster’s head. Don’t you agree?”
You know, I almost like Angela, and I can kind of see what Paolini is trying to go for with her character. I don’t have objections to goofy, quirky characters in principle.
I had a manager once, who was funny and goofy, but something rubbed me the wrong way about her. It took me a while to realize it, but she was completely enamored with herself and no one else. Trying to have a conversation with her was extremely difficult because she was much more interested in amusing herself than connecting with you.
I think that’s the same issue I have with Angela; it’s not that she’s quirky, it’s that she’s in love with herself and no one else. If she were quirky but also actually invested in other peoples’ lives, I think she’d be a much more tolerable character.
They have a pointless conversation in which it’s revealed that Angela is not above using loaded dice to get what she wants, and then Nas’s guards finally catch up to her. They stink (especially the Urgals), which Nas is having difficulty hiding. The leader of her guard, Garven, asks for a private word with her.
“Blast it, Lady Nasuada, you shouldn’t have left us as you did!”
Left them? But. . .but you handed Nas her horse, and put Elva behind her in the saddle; surely you knew from what she said and how she acted that she was going to move quickly. Garven could easily have stepped in at that point and said “Now wait just a minute” or grabbed her horse’s reins.
Also: if Nasuada is going to go on horseback, why are none of her guards on horses? How is that supposed to help? I can understand maybe the Urgals being on foot (especially since they’re supposedly faster than men), but the regular humans and dwarves should be mounted if she is.
Garven starts chewing Nas out, and she says that it wasn’t a big risk.
“A small risk? Not an hour ago, you received proof that Galbatorix still has agents hidden among us He has been able to infiltrate us again and again, and yet you see fit to abandon your escort and go racing through a host of potential assassins!”
Wait wait wait. . . that spy was among the Varden?! And this isn’t the first time this has happened?!
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL CRAP, PAOLINI?!
You can’t do that! You can’t establish that your Big Bad not only knows the Rebel Base’s location, but that he’s successfully infiltrated it for information on multiple occasions and have it be treated as an ordinary, day-to-day occurrence!
Gah, Paolini can’t even rip off Star Wars properly! This should be something expanded upon, with Galbatorix now presenting a great, very real, very looming threat, not treated like an “oh well” scenario. *facepalm*
Anyway.
Garven expounds how her leaving them makes the Nighthawks look incompetent and that the only way her guard will be able to protect her is if they have a reputation of being “the smartest, the toughest, and the meanest.” If people assume they’ll be blinking useless, there will be a lot more attempts on Nas’s life.
This is actually fairly logical, especially Paolini, but it’s kinda hard for the Nighthawks to appear that way when they can’t even keep up with Nas when she’s on her horse. What would they do if a mounted guy came in and scooped her up to kidnap her?
Nas is impressed with his eloquence (because of course she is; Paolini’s characters never miss a chance to compliment each other’s speaking abilities) and gives us this gem:
“I see Jormundur has surrounded me with warriors as skilled with their tongues as they are with their swords,” she said with a smile.
. . .Yeah, I’m just gonna let that one be.
They spend about three pages on. . .nothing, really. Nas suggests that they adopt “the smartest, the toughest, the meanest” as the Nighthawk’s motto.
“If the other Nighthawks approve of it, you should have Trianna translate the phrase into the ancient language, and I will have it inscribed on your shields and embroidered on your standards.”
If you translate it into the AL, aren’t you making it unreadable to everyone but elves, Eragon, and the mages? How is that helpful? Also, since it’s in the AL, would that make it true? Would inscribing those words onto the standards make the standard bearers the smartest, toughest, and meanest warriors? If that’s the case, why not put words like “invincible” and “immortal” on them? Why not inscribe everything with the words of the ancient language?
It could be argued that Nas as a non-mage doesn’t fully understand how the AL works (and frankly, no one seems to) and that she can be excused for this kind of nonsensical thinking. . .or we can blame Paolini for not thinking this through. I think I’m going to go with the latter.
The elves finally show up, and we get a look at their leader, who gives this chapter its name:
When he was still several hundred feet away, the lead elf appeared soot-black from head to toe. At first Nasuada assumed he was dark-skinned, like herself, and wearing dark attire, but as he drew closer, she saw the elf wore only a loincloth and a braided fabric belt with a small pouch attached. The rest of him was covered with midnight-blue fur that glistened with a healthy sheen under the glare of the sun.
While we will naturally assume the other elves are. . .what color? White?
Does he maintain that “healthy sheen” with his tongue or magical elf shampoo? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!
On average, the fur was a quarter-inch long—a smooth flexible armor that mirrored the shape and movement of the underlying muscles—but on his ankles and the undersides of his forearms, it extended a full two inches, and between his shoulder blades, there was a ruffled mane that stuck out a handsbreadth from his body and tapered down along his back to the base of his spine. Jagged bangs shadowed his brow, and catlike tufts sprouted from the tips of his pointed ears, but otherwise the fur on his face was so short and flat, only its color betrayed its presence. His eyes were bright yellow. Instead of fingernails, a claw protruded from each of his middle fingers. And as he slowed to a stop before her, Nasuada noticed that a certain odor surrounded him: a salty musk reminiscent of dry juniper wood, oiled leather, and smoke. It was such a strong smell, and so obviously masculine, Nasuada felt her skin go hot and cold and crawl with anticipation, and she blushed and was glad it would not show.
Sigh.
One. Fur is not in any way armor. Especially that short.
I wish Paolini would be more consistent with his units of measurement; if you’re going to use something like inches, stick to inches. If you’re going to use “handsbreadths,” go ahead and use that. Don’t mix and match; it’s confusing.
And why, in the name of good taste, does he only have claws on his middle fingers? Does he chew the rest of them to stubs? Does he want the length advantage to flip people off? What?
And. . .elf musk. Um. Why? And why would he design it to be attractive to humans?
The rest of the elves look pretty normal, though two of them are described as having “hair like starlight” (what color would that be? White? Blue?). They exchange introductions, and the furry, whose name is “Blodgharm,” tells Nas that the elves have taken the town of Ceunon.
Hooray! They’ve taken Ceunon! We cared so much about this highly strategic move before this point!
Nas quietly says to Mr. Furry, “I trust that Queen Islanzadi will be gentle with the people of Ceunon.” Mr. Furry responds with the following:
“Queen Islanzadi is both kind and merciful to her subjects, even if they are her unwilling subjects, but if anyone dares oppose us, we shall sweep them aside like dead leaves before an autumn storm.”
Does “kind and merciful” mean something different in Elvish than in the human tongue? Because that’s just about the only way this sentence makes any sense. Being kind and merciful, and violently sweeping aside any opposition, those are not ideas that really go together.
They chit-chat. Mr. Furry makes the claim that he believes that he, his posse, and Saphira will be able to “overcome Thorn and Murtaugh.” Well, that’s good. Having your heroes express their utter confidence in being able to hold off the enemy doesn’t undermine the drama and tension you’re trying to build at all.
Nas asks the elves to undergo a mental examination to make sure they aren’t spies (and as we’ve seen, the Varden’s methods of keeping out spies is utterly foolproof). They agree, though they warn that if the inspector delves too deeply into the elves’ minds, it will likely kill the examiner. Charming, aren’t they? And if that’s the case, what’s the point of the examination?
Garven is the one who probes the elf-brains. Not Trianna or Angela or someone well-versed in the ancient language, wards, or magic, but a human captain of the guards. Right.
Garven examines them all and proclaims them as “not human” and is extremely shaken for the experience. You know, why didn’t they just have the elves say “I am an elf” in the ancient language? That seems pretty straightforward, and even if you aren’t a magic user you can learn what those words sound like.
They talk a bit more, and Nasuada catches herself fantasizing about running her hands through Mr. Furry’s mane. Elva leans over to her and says,
“Horehound. Concentrate upon the taste of horehound.”
Okay, Paolini. As you’ve established it, Elva’s curse is that she must protect others from “misfortune.” How is Nasuada being swayed by Mr. Furry’s sexy smell any kind of “misfortune”? What is she preventing? Unintended pregnancy? And why does thinking of a smell even work?
Nas asks why Mr. Furry is a furry.
A shiny ripple flowed through Blodhgarm’s fur as he shrugged. “This shape pleased me,” he said. “Some write poems about the sun and the moon, others grow flowers or build great structures or compose music. As much as I appreciate those various art forms, I believe that true beauty only exists in the fang of a wolf, in the pelt of the forest cat, in the eye of an eagle. So I adopted those attributes for myself. In another hundred years, I may lose interest in the beasts of the land and instead decide that the beasts of the sea embody all that is good, and then I will cover myself with scales, transform my hands into fins and my feet into a tail, and I will vanish beneath the surface of the wave and never be seen in Alagaesia.”
I really have nothing to say to that.
Nas jokes that she hopes he doesn’t turn into a fish anytime soon, and that is SO FUNNY that everyone laughs, and the elves laughing is. . .well. . .
Without warning, the twelve elves filled the air with their clear, bright laughter, and birds for over a mile in every direction burst into song. The sound of their mirth was like water falling on crystal. Nasuada smiled without meaning to, and around her she saw similar expressions on the face of her guards. Even the two Urgals seemed giddy with joy. And when the elves fell silent and the world became mundane again, Nasuada felt the sadness of a fading dream. A film of tears obscured her vision for a clutch of heartbeats, and then that too was gone.
Oh for the love of—really, Paolini? I guess if you’re an elf, when you laugh the world truly laughs with you. Why not just send some elves to Uru’baen and have everyone laugh themselves to death?
More of the Varden come out to meet the elves, along with Saphira, and Nas closes us out of the chapter wondering how to keep the women of the Varden away from Mr. Furry’s super sexy smell. Maybe they’ll figure out a way to make magical gas masks.
And that’s it. Hooray! We accomplished so much!
55 comments
[1]
torylltales
January 29 2017, 14:38:00
I can kind of let Paolini get away with swapping between inches and "handsbreadths", because "inch" has been in use since the 1300s, and was previously spelled unche and ynce. As a measure of "a twelfth of a foot", it was certainly used in conjunction with 'hands', 'fingers', 'nails', 'palms', 'feet', and 'ells' (forearm, similar to a cubit) among other measurements. It's not out of place here to have inches and hands in the same paragraph.
The rest of this chapter, though... Why the hell is Paolini gushing about how manly and sexy Hank McCoy is, when there was potential for a major story-arc in the apparently huge problem of multiple spies within their ranks? Or the potential for a huge book-length arc of dissension within the Varden's power base(s), and the possibility of Eragon either taking a side in the Varden's splintering, or striking off on his own without them?
[1A]
predak123
February 1 2017, 00:49:48
It still feels far too precise to have descriptions of "a quarter of an inch" when you've got something far more vague like "a handsbreadth" in the same paragraph. It pulls me out of the story pretty badly.
BTW, Boyfriend thought "sexy Hank McCoy" was hilariouis.
[1A1]
torylltales
February 1 2017, 09:21:26
It only feels precise because inches have survived to the modern age, mostly due to the stubbornness of Americans, where a lot of other Imperial measurements were dropped.
Would it have been better if Paolini had written "a barleycorn" or "five poppyseeds"? Because both were units of measurement every bit as mainstream and standardised as the inch and the handspan. Just because the inch survived in modern usage (in America) doesn't mean that it's any more valid in the Imperial measurement system than the span (3 palms, or 9 inches), the palm (3 inches), the shaftment (2 palms, or 6 inches), or the pace (5 shaftments, or 30 inches).
[1A1A]
predak123
February 2 2017, 00:38:00
I think something more akin to "a finger's width" would be better. Having something that's comparable to a body part is better for writing size descriptions anyway, IMO. "Inches" is pretty abstract, and items like barleycorn or poppyseeds aren't necessarily going to be well-known to your readers. I can hold my hand in front of me and go "oh, okay, about that wide" but if you ask me to picture a fraction of an inch, I can't really do that unless I've got a ruler in front of me.
I'm not a fan of measurements being given in books as is, though -- I'd much rather see a character's reaction to something's size than telling me that something is 500 feet wide and expecting me to go "oh wow."
It might just boil down to personal preference, but I'd much rather have measurements that I can very easily imagine. Moreover, using measurements that use stuff like "hands" makes me think about touching the thing, which is pretty effective when you're describing stuff like fur.
[1A1A1]
torylltales
February 2 2017, 09:24:26
Okay, I agree that Paolini shouldn't use precise measurements in the first place, but are you suggesting that he should make up some unfamiliar fantasy measurement instead of using one that is historically appropriate for the time, standardised, and immediately familiar to his US audience? "Inches" are not abstract to him or his US audience (the one he was writing for, I suspect that he never seriously considered the possibility that he would be writing for an international audience), not are they difficult to imagine for them.
[1A1A1A]
predak123
February 2 2017, 13:10:24
Ya know, it probably does boil down to personal preference on this one, but I'd say yes. I don't think he should go about making up an "unfamiliar fantasy measurement"; there's no reason to call rabbits smeerps and such. But I do think it's better to use measurements that have a physical frame of reference. I don't think something like "a finger's width" should be described as an "unfamiliar fantasy measurement"; the width of a finger is something anyone reading is going to instantly understand.
"Inches" are not abstract to him or his US audience (the one he was writing for, I suspect that he never seriously considered the possibility that he would be writing for an international audience), not are they difficult to imagine for them.
I think we might be using different meanings of "abstract," here. What I mean by that term is a measurement that cannot be easily connected to something tangible to make a comparison. For the record, I am absolutely terrible at estimating-- distances, volumes, numbers, what-have-you. And that includes inches (and I'm an American!). Telling me that a character is 9 feet tall tells me that he's quite a large fellow, but I get a much better sense of his size and how it would feel to stand next to him if instead he's described as being "half again as tall as a man, and twice as wide."
Again, this is likely more personal preference than anything else, but I definitely prefer having things described in terms of comparisons. One, because I can picture it more easily, and two, because you wind up with more evocative description. Describing, say, a unicorn's horn as being "the length of the blade of a longsword" brings to mind something bright and sharp as well as long; describing it as being 3 feet long describes the length and does little else. Describing a woman's hair as being "long enough to reach the small of her back" brings to mind a clearer picture of this person than saying that her hair is a yard long. And with Paolini's Furry!Elf, describing his mane as being a "handsbreadth" wide brings to mind the feel of fur under your hand, not just the length.
Describing things with historical units is fine, but I think you can often get more out of your description if you tie it back to something that's universal (pretty much everyone has or knows a lot of people who have hands and fingers, for example), or to something you want to subtly draw comparisons to. It adds a lot of richness to it, and I think that's where the whole "inch" issue actually rubbed me the wrong way; "inches" is a very clinical, clean unit for description. "Handsbreadth" is much more tangible and connected to people. They cause clashes in my brain when they're used together.
I don't think you're wrong, here, but I definitely prefer it when I can actually picture the thing being described and think it's better when authors get more out of their description than a clinical description.
[2]
torylltales
January 29 2017, 15:29:11
For anyone who's lost count, the next 5 chapters coming are:
Mercy, Dragon Rider – Hidden Urchin
Shadows of the Past – Urchin
Amid the Restless Crowd – zelaznamaska
To Answer a King – the_bishop8
A Feast with Friends – torylltales
:) I'm looking forward to the Mercy, Dragon Rider spork.
[2A]
hidden_urchin
January 29 2017, 16:08:40
I'm working on it! I'll give us a few days to chew on this one...not that there's much meat to it. :)
[2A1]
torylltales
January 29 2017, 16:11:20
Take all the time you need, we're not really on a schedule here.
[2A2]
Anonymous
January 30 2017, 03:37:24
Well, you do some of the best sporks with little to no meat at all, so...
Well, i hace nothing to say besides that the chapter really suits you. You are the One who can best put that chapter to justice
[3]
the_bishop8
January 29 2017, 17:38:50
Even three of the Forsworn could not conquer the twelve of us and a dragon.
Yet you still lost the war against Galbatorix.
"We may have no idea how to kill Galbatorix himself, but until we batter down the gates of his citadel in Urû’baen, or until he chooses to fly out on Shruikan and confront us on the field of battle, nothing shall stop us.”
Yeah, don't bother figuring out how to defeat Galbatorix until you actually get there.
Garven examines them all and proclaims them as “not human” and is extremely shaken for the experience.
He's not just shaken, look at the weird effect it had on him:
Nasuada kept a close eye on him throughout the process, and she saw how his fingers became white and bloodless, and the skin at his temples sank into his skull like the eardrums of a frog, and he acquired the languid appearance of a person swimming deep underwater.
[3A]
theepistler
January 29 2017, 20:51:11
And then afterwards Garven basically acts like he's been lobotomised, and nobody gives a crap. That bit was SO creepy and horrible to read.
[3A1]
Anonymous
January 30 2017, 20:54:20
It turns out not everyone is hunky dory about the elves. And this comes from Nasuada
After Garven, the commander of her bodyguard, is left in a daze by reading the elves minds. Page 175
Bitter at her loss [of an effective captain], and furious with herself, and with the elves, and with Galbatorix and the Empire for making such a sacrifice necessary, she had difficulty maintaining a soft tongue and good manners
"When you spoke of peril, Blodhgarm, you would have done well to mention even those who return to their bodies do not escape entirely unscathed."
"My lady, I am fine,' said Garven. His protestation was so weak and ineffectual, hardly anyone noticed, and it only served to strengthen Nasuada's sense of outrage.
The fur on Blodhgarm's nape rippled and stiffened. "If I failed to explain myself clearly enough before, then I apologise. However, do not blame us for what has happened. However do not blame us for what has happened; we cannot help our nature"
- Anon 2
[3A1A]
theepistler
January 30 2017, 21:17:10
Feel the raw emotion! Nas is blind with rage! Furry is remorseful! You can tell because Paolini totally tells you this is the case even though their behaviour and mode of speech remains completely unchanged!
God this writing is awful.
[3A1A1]
Anonymous
January 30 2017, 21:32:31
I wonder if it would have been better if he hadn't gone for emulating a formal, detached voice. Throughout Brisingr there are passages like
blah blah blah thought Eragon.
It sounds like a detached, upper class british gentleman is narrating. The emotion is stunted by the style he goes for.
However you could say Nas didnt change her behaviour becauae shes wary of offending the elves.
[3A1A1A]
theepistler
January 30 2017, 21:46:30
Except that the text says nothing of the sort - it just blandly states that she's angry and leaves it at that.
A major issue with the prose in this thing is that everything is blandly stated. There's no sense of being "in the moment", actually witnessing these supposedly important events at first-hand. It's like reading a particularly dull history textbook.
Funnily enough, way back in the day Paolini said something about how he didn't like stories in which "the hero just goes around killing monsters and there's no emotional reaction". Brother, look to the plank in thine own eye.
[3A1A1A1]
Anonymous
January 31 2017, 18:29:47
Except that the text says nothing of the sort - it just blandly states that she's angry and leaves it at that.
Well I took it as implying she kept herself reserved due to the company she was in. It'd been established before that the elves have a daunting and perfect reputation (look at all the times they're praised), so her lack of acting on her anger at Garven's treatment is to not anger potential allies.
Not that this is a big deal. One of the good things about books is we're free to interpret them differently.
A major issue with the prose in this thing is that everything is blandly stated. There's no sense of being "in the moment", actually witnessing these supposedly important events at first-hand. It's like reading a particularly dull history textbook.
And being a history buff, I usually like reading dry history textbooks - except something about the falseness of the ye olde not-Anglo Saxon epic of Inheritance rubs me the wrong way. It's trying too hard to establish something to become a fantasy epic as old and well known as LOTR, Belgariad, Beowulf, King Arthur, etc.
If you're familiar with reddit, the IC is like r/iamverysmart.
Funnily enough, way back in the day Paolini said something about how he didn't like stories in which "the hero just goes around killing monsters and there's no emotional reaction". Brother, look to the plank in thine own eye.
I took far too long trying to find a video where he says this. it was a youtube video of the release of Brisingr in some public library. However for us I think it's worth keeping in consideration that he isn't necessarily wrong, and neither are we. To Paolini and fans of his books, the series does have realistic emotions. Us anti shirts disagree and this doesn't mean either of us are entirely right or wrong.
[3A1A1A1A]
predak123
February 1 2017, 00:28:08
To Paolini and fans of his books, the series does have realistic emotions. Us anti shirts disagree and this doesn't mean either of us are entirely right or wrong.
Well, if you want to get extremely nitpicky, no one is ever entirely right or wrong. Even statements like "2 plus 2 equals 4" is only entirely right in certain cases; 2+2=10 if you're in Base 4.
That said, there are answers that are more right (or at least have sturdier arguments) than others. I've never actually seen a good argument from Pao or his fans about the series having "realistic emotions," but I think it's more likely true that Pao and his fans feel emotions while reading the books, and therefore assume that the books have good emotions.
[4]
hergrim
January 29 2017, 17:53:27 Edited: January 29 2017, 17:54:08
Without warning, the twelve elves filled the air with their clear, bright laughter, and birds for over a mile in every direction burst into song. The sound of their mirth was like water falling on crystal. Nasuada smiled without meaning to, and around her she saw similar expressions on the face of her guards.
Even the two Urgals seemed giddy with joy. And when the elves fell silent and the world became mundane again, Nasuada felt the sadness of a fading dream. A film of tears obscured her vision for a clutch of heartbeats, and then that too was gone.
This is where a character of mine, Leatherlung, kills the lot of them and swears to kill all the elves. Anything that provokes that kind of response from a laugh is using magic to lull you into a false sense of security and/or to enslave your mind. Paolini just keeps making the elves more and more unintentionally creepy and evil.
[4A]
torylltales
January 29 2017, 18:27:00
“Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
[4B]
Anonymous
January 30 2017, 03:41:21
Well, is not muchos creepier han that scene of spirits (if only because paolini tries so hard to make the wonderful and deserving to rule the land) just a lo more annoying. It looks like their laughter has some drugs on it.
[5]
paulp1993
January 29 2017, 20:28:59
Aside from being quasi-Old Norse, "Blödgharm" is the kind of noise the tabby across the street makes whenever it coughs up hairballs. I'm not sure that's the imagery Pao wanted to evoke, but there is.
[5A]
predak123
January 31 2017, 02:30:40
Ah, so he DOES use his tongue to give his coat that "healthy sheen"! It all makes sense!
[6]
theepistler
January 29 2017, 23:58:46
Dear gods was that song terrible. Who the flip got paid to write those horrible lyrics? I could write a better song that that in my sleep! Probably.
She’s threatening the Council of Elders with dissolution?!
This bit was so glossed over that I completely missed it when I read the book myself. Needless to say the oh-so-important Council of Elders will never appear again or have any impact on the plot whatsoever.
In the mean time, enter random pointless Furry character! Paolini really needs to lay off the anime. And what the hell was the point of Wolfelf's magic pheromone power, anyway? It's never explained, and it never has any impact on the plot or results in any character development for anyone. Not to mention that it's utterly creepy. So... why? I really wish he'd stop dropping in things which are never followed through on and don't change a damn thing. Chekov's Gun doesn't mean "10,000 different guns are established as hanging on the wall, but none of them will ever be fired at any point".
[6A]
predak123
January 31 2017, 01:18:56
Dear gods was that song terrible. Who the flip got paid to write those horrible lyrics?
I don't think anyone "got paid" to write the lyrics; I'm pretty sure Ruth B. was a youtube celebrity who got picked up by the mainstream. She was writing for herself and her fans on Vine. Like I said - amateurish and clunky. I still do like it though; I think it's important to see rough, unpolished art. Maybe it's a way to deal with my own insecurities, but seeing unprofessional grade artwork gives me a lot more hope and incentive to make my own art, instead of feeling inadequate when I compare my work to overly-polished professional stuff.
This song getting on the pop charts is kind of like something someone posted on Deviantart getting into a fine art magazine; it really has no business being there. But I might still like the piece of art, anyway.
[6A1]
theepistler
January 31 2017, 07:49:37
Oh great, another one. It's Rebecca Black all over again. Whenever will these people learn?
I agree with you though; it's a shitty song but at least it's performed with genuine enthusiasm. Paolini's crap is just flat and lifeless and lacking in any sort of soul. There was a certain naive enthusiasm to the first book, but that's well and truly gone by now. Book One was the work of a kid excited to tell a story. Book Three is the work of a burned-out, exhausted and probably highly cynical adult.
[6A1A]
predak123
February 1 2017, 00:32:22
Oh great, another one. It's Rebecca Black all over again. Whenever will these people learn?
Actually, I think she's more comparable to Justin Bieber - or Paolini, come to think of it. Rebecca Black recorded a horrible song because her parents paid for her to live her dream of being a pop star for a day; it's basically a pretty princess fantasy that was so hillaribad that it blew up and got famous.
Ruth B., on the other hand, wasn't trying to be a famous pop star; she wrote a song because she wanted to, put it on youtube, and it got picked up. That's much more like the story of the Biebs or PaoPao; an amateur, but sincere, artist gets put into the limelight before their work is really ready for it.
[6A1A1]
theepistler
February 1 2017, 00:35:22
Huh, good point.
[7]
syntinen_laulu
January 30 2017, 00:12:42 Edited: January 30 2017, 04:17:05
Does “kind and merciful” mean something different in Elvish than in the human tongue? Because that’s just about the only way this sentence makes any sense. Being kind and merciful, and violently sweeping aside any opposition, those are not ideas that really go together.
Not true. In just about any period of ancient and medieval history, if you captured a town and didn't levy punitive fines on the inhabitants for having been on the wrong side, or let your troops rape, murder and loot them, that definitely counted as kind and merciful. And being kind and merciful to the populace in general certainly wouldn't rule out ruthlessly chopping anyone who attempted resistance.
And why does thinking of a smell even work?
No, I can get that. If you're reacting to a smell, thinking as hard as you can of a smell that's radically different or that would combine really unpleasantly with it might well interfere with your reaction.
In another hundred years, I may lose interest in the beasts of the land
Just like that, eh. Because they're just a hobby or a fashion fad. Seriously, that phrase 'lose interest' just blew a hole in the whole idea that the Elves actually care about nature. I mean, after 70 years or so studying animals Sir David Attenborough (may he live a hundred years) might be inspired to make a study of ferns or algae, but it's impossible to imagine him describing that new interest as 'losing interest' in animals.
[7A]
predak123
January 31 2017, 02:11:16
Not true. In just about any period of ancient and medieval history, if you captured a town and didn't levy punitive fines on the inhabitants for having been on the wrong side, or let your troops rape, murder and loot them, that definitely counted as kind and merciful. And being kind and merciful to the populace in general certainly wouldn't rule out ruthlessly chopping anyone who attempted resistance.
I can understand that - Shakespeare's Henry V has a scene where the king addresses the recently-conquered people of Harfleur and lays out exactly what horrors await them if they don't submit. And it's complete with threats of rape, smashing the elderly's heads into walls, and spiking infants. And yet I still like Henry V as a character and think he's a good king.
I think it rubs me the wrong way because Mr. Furry here is using fairly threatening language when he's talking about the matter to Nasuada, an ally, which feels out of place and kind of bloodthirsty. The poetry in the line about sweeping them aside like dead leaves - that seems a bit much for a status report given to the Varden's leader. Something more like "Islanzadi rules with a firm, but merciful hand - the people of Ceunon will not feel her rod unless they attempt to rebel" seems more appropriate to me. Leave the treats to the people of Ceunon, not Nasuada.
I'm still not sold on the smell thing, but I can't experiment until I get my hands on some sexy-elf-musk.
Just like that, eh. Because they're just a hobby or a fashion fad.
It's also amusing to me that he ONLY finds beauty in the animal traits he listed. So I'm assuming he's looking at everyone else with smug disdain. Well, aside from the cats and dogs, whom he might consider beautiful. Ew.
[7A1]
theepistler
January 31 2017, 07:53:23
That bit also kinda reads like Furry is subtly threatening Nas with what will happen if she also pisses off the elves. Definitely needlessly aggressive. (Also smug, but when are the elves not smug? Fuck those guys).
[8]
zelaznamaska
January 30 2017, 07:24:02
I don't know why, but the elves laughing remind of this scene from Matrix:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNkrF43SZEU
[8A]
theepistler
January 30 2017, 17:06:30
MWAHAHAHAH!
[8B]
Anonymous
January 30 2017, 21:04:59
Please put the laugh with clips of Elrond.
- Anon 2
[8C]
predak123
February 1 2017, 00:33:52
XD
Man, I wonder how many takes that took.
[9]
Anonymous
January 30 2017, 20:56:45
Here's a laugh for us anti shirts. Nasuada's thoughts at the start of the chapter
Eragon may be one of the most deadly warriors in Alagaesia, yet he isn't a hard or cruel person. Roran, however, is made of sterner stuff. I hope he never cross me; I would have to destroy him in order to stop him.
Another potential, another checkov's gun wasted.
[9A]
theepistler
January 30 2017, 21:22:28
Aw man, I deliberately left that bit alone so I wouldn't be muscling in on Predak's racket and she totally skipped over it! I am disappoint. :(
Eragon may be one of the most deadly warriors in Alagaesia, yet he isn't a hard or cruel person.
HAHAHAHAHAH.
And that's totally why he commits cold-blooded murder in the very next chapter! Such a nice guy. *wipes away a tear*
[9A1]
Anonymous
January 30 2017, 22:57:32
Un another book, it might hace be en a cruel irony one Nasu's part.
Imagine what would be if you were the leader of a rebel faction against en (supposedly) ultimately evil fue, that you belive that at least you hace a kind but powerful personas One tour si de to help you...and the learn that said person sent a torture víctim to a fate worse than edad just because he annoyed him, and murdered a conscrited kid un cold blood justo because it was convenient.
The fact that Paolini can't imagine that is what males this series so dull. Forget even the clichés- ridden plot.
[9A1A]
Anonymous
January 30 2017, 23:00:43
And forget also the goddam freakin typos. I'm still working One that
[9A2]
predak123
January 31 2017, 02:29:46
Aw man, I deliberately left that bit alone so I wouldn't be muscling in on Predak's racket and she totally skipped over it! I am disappoint. :(
Well, you gotta pick your battles when it comes to sporking. I wanted to focus more on Paolini's horrific habit of expounding on the pointless and trivializing the critical. Seriously, he spends more time in this chapter talking about how Mr. Furry looks and Garven chewing out Nas (which, if they'd all been on horses as would be logical, wouldn't have been an issue whatsoever) than on SPIES AND INNER VARDEN TURMOIL. I honestly think it's one of Paolini's greatest flaws; he doesn't know and still hasn't figured out what to focus on in the story. Leave the blue furry elves out; write more about interrogating spies.
[9A2A]
theepistler
January 31 2017, 07:43:57
It particularly stuck out to me because it's such an utter lie, and the more so given how thoroughly that lie is exposed in the very next chapter.
Eragon, the guy who isn't a "hard or cruel person", having just tortured an old blind man, then goes on to commit cold-blooded, utterly calculated murder. He's such a nice, sensitive, empathetic guy! In Opposite Land, perhaps.
[9A2A1]
Anonymous
January 31 2017, 23:25:48
As I tried to say before, it could have been a dramatic irony on Nasuada´s part.
But I don´t think that Paolini even realized those things were wrong in the first place.
He honestly belives that not letting Sloan see his only family again is better than killing him (And lets be "fair" there can be said that no fate is worse than death because death is permanent and as long as you are alive, you can have hope that things get better, or you can start from scratch, but still...)
And when Eragon snaps the soldier´s neck and blames Galby for sending him, he honestly belived it was Galby´s fault for conscripting the kid, forgetting that Eragon could turn invisible. (And acting in a manner that is what my mother says is a really coward and despicable: "Look what you made me do"
¿Do you also think that if Galby used a baby as a shield and Eragon shoot him trough it, Eragon would say that Galby was the only responsible for the baby ´s death?
[9A2A1A]
theepistler
January 31 2017, 23:57:39
I doubt Paolini actually knows what dramatic irony is.
And acting in a manner that is what my mother says is a really coward and despicable: "Look what you made me do"
You know what? When I was a kid I witnessed a guy abusing his girlfriend. He was screaming abuse at her and physically threatening her. Then he broke his car window in a violent rage, and immediately started yelling "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!" while the poor girl cowered in fear. It was horrible. My father, also a witness to this ugly scene, said in disgusted tones "he isn't a real man".
Which applies here. A guy who commits cruel and violent acts upon others and claims his actions weren't his fault isn't a real man - he's a despicable coward. Eragon never takes responsibility for his actions. Instead he would rather fob the blame off on someone else - usually Galby, who acts as a convenient scapegoat for every bad thing the "heroes" do. No wonder it's so easy to feel sorry for the guy.
¿Do you also think that if Galby used a baby as a shield and Eragon shoot him trough it, Eragon would say that Galby was the only responsible for the baby´s death?
Well at the *cough* climax Galby uses a couple of random pointless kids as hostages and Ergy ultimately decides he's okay with letting them die if it means winning the utterly unjustified war. I think it's clear enough that the little shit is prepared to stoop to damn near anything if it suits his (selfish) purposes. I mean, he already may well have murdered a friggin' teenager purely because it could potentially have been a minor inconvenience to let the guy live.
[9A2A1A1]
Anonymous
February 1 2017, 23:27:37
It could have been possible to make seem a little more guilty, at least on the soldiers part. Look:
The chapter might be in the soldier´s point of view, in a moment when they catch Eragon and Arya completely exhaused (And they LITERALLY cant´t do
any of their fancy magic tricks, or even better, can´t even spot the soldiers)
The things the soldier sworn made him try to fight Eragon, and when things turned badly he tried to run away but whe phisically could not do so. We might see the terror of of the soldier as he tries to run away but his body keeps on trying to attack his very superior foe. He might not be even able to beg for mercy.
Granted, the scene could improve if Eragon at least TRIED to find a way of not killing the soldiers despite his exhaustion, but killing him might not seem so unreasonable.
I don´t know, but that might have made Galby look a little more guilty. ¿What do you think? ¿Any other ideas?
[10]
Anonymous
January 31 2017, 11:12:38
Really can't even imagine why he added Furry!Elf. Did he think female readers would find that appealing? I mean maybe a small subset, but when you get down to it, it's just super creepy. He's going around with aphrodisiacal musk. There can be zero good motives for that. And as others indicated, he appears to be doing this out of fashion sense.
Not sure which blue furry X-man Paolini was ripping off, either. Isn't Nightcrawler supposed to be fuzzy or something, like Hank Whatshisface? Not a fan of comics, so unsure, except I thought I read someone say so once upon a time.
[10A]
Anonymous
February 1 2017, 00:36:27
Nightcrawler has blue skin is all. Beast has fur.
[10B]
theepistler
February 1 2017, 00:40:57
You're thinking of Hank McCoy, aka Beast. There is a certain resemblance there, except Beast is actually, y'know... cool and interesting.
[Caption: Picture of Hank McCoy]
The Incredible Nightcrawler is also blue, but he isn't furry.
[Caption: Picture of the Incredible Nightcrawler]
[10B1]
minionnumber2
February 1 2017, 07:06:02
Comic!Nightcrawler is actually furry, his fur is part of his super powers and ability to blend into the shadows.
[Caption: Image from Issue 167 of Uncanny X-Men:
Nightcrawler speaks with Kitty while kissing her hand. The following dialogue is present:
Nightcrawler: Never, dear lady. Your presence is always welcome.
Kitty: Flatterer.
Nightcrawler: That's me--the silver-tongued, blue-furred devil.
Kitty: Whose delight is in making people laugh.
]
[11]
Anonymous
February 1 2017, 08:11:03
Regarding why Fur Elf's musk is attractive to human women, let's remember that Nasuada herself is human and a woman. Considering how supremacist the elves are, it'd be entirely possible he was instructed by the Elf Queen to add that attribute to himself to throw Nas off-balance. Perhaps indoctrinate her into being pro-elf? After all, weren't these spellcasters supposed to be hand-picked by the Queen?
-immortall_drayk
[11A]
Anonymous
February 1 2017, 10:30:27
Still super creepy in a date rape kind of way. If Nasuada is affected, at least some other human women will also be influenced. While yes, people (men and women alike) have willpower, actively drugging people to cause them to be more likely to do things they wouldn't ordinarily do, no matter the reasoning, is basically evil.
And in any case, I doubt Paolini would even have thought of an elf doing something that underhanded on purpose. It's probably partly to appeal to women (even though blue fur is... really not all that, imo) and partly this idea that most/all men really just want a harem to have sex with whenever they please so of course an "animalistic" elf who is "closer to nature" by Paolini's view, would think it right and good to try to pull off something like this.
It's interesting to note as well that I don't believe there are any mentions of non-Rider humans involved in romance with elves in these books. Interesting because the two are similar enough in appearance that sooner or later someone's going to feel feisty and curious. Maybe the creepy furry dude is into human women and actually hoping to get some action in the creepiest possible way by effectively impairing their sense of judgment with pheromones.
The more I think about it the creepier it gets. Seriously, what was Paolini thinking?!
[11A1]
theepistler
February 1 2017, 11:15:00
Later on you see Furry being followed around by a bunch of giggling women, and Eragon gets asked whether he thinks the situation is wrong or creepy. He basically answers that if Furry isn't taking advantage of any of them, then it's okay. Of course we all know how he feels about making people do things against their will, the psychopathic little shit.
I don't even know what the point of the sex pheromone was supposed to be in the first place. It doesn't have any impact on the story, or anything else for that matter. It's just randomly dropped in there and then forgotten within a chapter. Just like most of what's in this book, really.
[11A1A]
Anonymous
February 3 2017, 05:28:40
In reality if the pheromones were that strong and actually worked, there would probably be a man or two (or more) following the furry around...
[11A1A1]
theepistler
February 3 2017, 11:08:08
Despite the constant homoerotic overtones in this series, Paolini refuses to acknowledge that gay people exist. Otherwise that definitely would be the case, while some women would be "inexplicably" immune.
[11A2]
predak123
February 2 2017, 00:46:06
It's probably partly to appeal to women
Honestly I don't think Paolini considers things like that. I've never felt like he was trying to pander to anyone when reading his stuff. I suspect it was more that he got the idea of an elf who changed his appearance via magic, thought it was cool, and just rolled with it.
[11A2A]
Anonymous
February 2 2017, 04:23:12
Yeah he's not the kind of guy who does fanservice-- but he'll serve himself to be sure, what with all the leering at Arya.
Original repost:
Title: Missed Chapter: Bloodwolf
epistler posting in as_sporkive, Nov. 22nd, 2019, 11:01 PM
So apparently this is actually Chapter Eleven, but due to a filing hiccup I missed it along with one other chapter. Chronologically, this chapter happens right after "A Delicate Matter".
"Man and Wife" was also accidentally passed over for the same reason. Mea Culpa.
Originally posted by Predak.