Brisingr Spork, Part 14: Shadows of the Past (3/3)

[pangolin20]

hidden_urchin wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-02-26 20:40:00

Brisingr Spork, Part 14: Shadows of the Past (3/3)

“Shadows of the Past” is a twenty-eight page monster in which nothing happens. Nothing. There’s no interesting structure, no interesting characterization (or none that lasts), no interesting moral dilemmas, no conflict. The entire chapter could be cut without a lasting impact on the story. It’s inclusion makes me wonder if Paolini was being paid by the word.

In any case, I’m breaking it into three sporks just to spare myself some of the tedium. I’ll post them at shorter intervals, though, because I don’t expect there’s too much to discuss.

***

In Which Something Unimportant Happens (~1, 400 words)

Eragon starts wondering about Galbatorix’s True Name. He thinks that if everyone gets together, perhaps they could discover it. Arya mentions that three people—a Rider and two spellcasters—had already discovered it in the past. Of course they can’t use it because Galbatorix cast a spell that would kill anyone who tried, and they don’t know how that spell works so they can’t protect themselves from it.

Well, that’s handily contrived.

As Arya speaks, she rips up the grass and weaves a little boat out of it. Then she uses magic to make it fly. It’ll fly forever, she says, drawing energy from the plants below.

I hope those plants didn’t need all of their stored energy for survival.

What gets me time and time again is how unaware these characters are of potential consequences. They do something because it’s cool, regardless of whether it’s necessary, and never consider what could happen. With characters like these, magic should be what technology is to us: something incredibly useful, but also the cause of much damage to the world through misuse.

Now that would be a cool world to play in.

Eragon starts worrying about True Names. He asks Arya if he should cast a spell that protects him from having his True Name used against him.

Because modeling yourself after the Big Bad you’re facing is a good idea.

“You can if you wish to,” said Arya, “but I doubt it’s necessary. True names are not so easy to find as you think…”

But Eragon found Sloan’s because he is Just That Special. And three people found Galbatorix’s because…something.

For the next couple of paragraphs, the characters sit by the fire. It’s windy. Then, they feel that they are being watched.

Is it the Empire?

No. That would make sense.

Instead, little zooming lights of varying size and color, with “a halo of liquid tendrils that whipped and lashed, as if hungry to entangle something in their grasp” show up. Arya touches one.

Her face calm, she lifted an arm and, before Eragon could leap forward and stop her, laid her hand upon the lambent orb. The orb turned gold and white, and it swelled until it was over three feet across. Arya closed her eyes and tilted her head back, radiant joy suffusing her features. Her lips moved, but whatever she said, Eragon could not hear. When she finished, the orb flushed blood-red…

Ahem.

I can only think that, unlike the domed rock between Eragon’s legs, the interaction between humanoids and spirits is meant to have a sexual subtext. At least, it would make sense if the subtext was intentional here.

The problem with so much unintentional subtext is that it muddies the text to the point that intentional subtext is buried. Ideally, this is the sort of thing an editor would ask an author to reconsider. I’m not sure exactly what Brisingr’s editor was looking for when she was reading, but it wasn’t subtext.

We then get a page of Eragon’s communion with the glowing balls. It’s hardly worth noting because it has no affect on him. It doesn’t change him in any way. It doesn’t even inspire him to think about unwanted mind-to-mind contact, considering the glowing balls muscled into his consciousness and took a spin through his memories. The experience may have brought him pleasure, but the action was hardly different than when he forced himself on Sloan.

No, all that happens is that Eragon asks Arya why anyone would enslave the spirits and threatens to have Triana banished for being a sorcerer.

Arya cautions him that the spirits are more dangerous than they appeared and says that making people feel good is the spirit defense mechanism.

“I don’t know,” said Eragon. “They make you feel so good, I can understand why someone would want to keep them nearby, instead of releasing them.”

Point to Eragon. I think he finally managed to understand something of human behavior.

Arya responds.

“Spirits have as much difficulty predicting our behavior as we do theirs.”

In other words, she doesn’t have a real answer to Eragon’s point.

In any case, Eragon decides none of this explains why he shouldn’t tell Triana to cut it out with summoning the spirits. Arya asks him how many times he has seen her summon them.

Once. Once in six years because “it’s exceedingly dangerous, and one does not embark on it lightly.”

No wonder Eragon didn’t know anything about it. If he can’t use magic recklessly, he’s not interested.

Nevertheless, Arya’s point shuts Eragon up. Good thing too because he’s immediately distracted by the shiny. Literally. Touching the spirits has left the magic insignia on his hand glowing.

This had better not last more than a few hours. I can’t go around shining like a lantern. It could get me killed. And it’s silly too. Whoever heard of a Dragon Rider with a glowing body part?

I’d make fun of Eragon’s priorities here, but I actually think it’s another good teenage characterization. Eragon is a little vain and also concerned with maintaining his status as a serious Dragon Rider. It’s too bad none of this lasts beyond these thoughts.

Eragon asks Arya what spirits are, but she punts that question to Oromis. Fortunately. Otherwise we might have an extra couple of pages of useless conversation. I don’t think Oromis ever explains what spirits are to Eragon, however, so this dropped plot thread strikes me more as Paolini having not worked something out, pushed it down the road, and forgotten about it.

Arya has another reason for not answering Eragon.

“The study of sorcery, if properly conducted, is long and arduous and should be approached with care. “

That rules Eragon out. Anything involving “long,” “arduous,” or “care” is far beyond his abilities.

“I do not want to say anything that may interfere with the lessons Oromis has planned for you, and I certainly don’t want you to hurt yourself trying something I mentioned when you lack the proper instruction.”

She has his number. It’s nice to see assertive Arya show up again instead of an Arya who has been bent to the will of the Sue.

Eragon starts complaining, of course. He doesn’t think he can leave the Varden with Murtagh and Thorn about, meaning he can’t complete his training. As far as he’s concerned, Oromis and Glaedr should come to him “and Galbatorix be blasted.”

Because it’s all about you, Eragon.

Again, we’re seeing some unlovely personality traits in our hero, but they’re not wrong. They make him unlikeable. They also make him human. The problem is that they don’t go more than chapter deep. There are no consequences and no drive to overcome the flaws.

Arya gently chastises Eragon and, in the only surprise of the chapter, he feels slightly ashamed and thinks about how unfair he was being towards Oromis.

Before he can think too much about his wrongness and learn any lessons from it, he changes the topic. He asks Arya what she said to the spirit.

She told the spirits that Eragon had saved some of their kind from Durza, an act for which they were grateful. So grateful, in fact, that they turned Eragon’s lily into living metal.

A laugh bubbled up inside of Eragon. With barely contained glee, he said, “I’ve heard the expression ‘to gild the lily’ before, but the spirits actually did it. They gilded the lily!” And he fell to laughing, letting his voice boom across the empty plain.

And drawing the Empire’s patrols right to them.

Or that would be what would happen in a book that remembered they’re fleeing for their lives.

It’s a pointless end for a pointless chapter.

29 comments

[1]

Anonymous
February 27 2017, 14:04:57
It's a shame the spirits aren't emphasised more in the story. They're probably the least Tolkienish race he made (I say without a fully body of knowledge of all that Silmarillion stuff).

[1A]

Anonymous
February 27 2017, 14:20:47
I doubt Paolini has read through all the Silmarillion, either.

[2]

torylltales
February 27 2017, 14:27:46 Edited: February 27 2017, 14:29:22
Let's say it together, folks:

"to gild refined gold, to paint the lily, to throw perfume on the violet...

... is just fucking silly."

-- Tim Minchin, Storm.

[2A]

https://me.yahoo.com/a/gNLVidA.xeLuPiOU_2B_USM.HYNFjA--#b0b6b
February 28 2017, 19:57:18
:D Yay for a Tim Minchin quote!

And yeah, the original quote from Shakespeare was "to gild refined gold, to paint the lily". Which makes Eragon's self-congratulatory laughter all the more stupid. For one - laughing uproariously at your own joke = bad form. For two - Shakespeare doesn't exist in Alagamooselem. (From Eldest we know Eragon himself is the greatest poet in the land) (<-- that was sarcasm)
And for three - I can't help but read it as a thinly-disguised attempt to show off how clever and well read Paolini is, for knowing his (incorrectly quoted) Shakespeare. Why else would an author write in something so utterly random, then get his main character to draw attention to how supposedly brilliant and funny it is?

[2A1]

theepistler
March 1 2017, 01:56:40 Edited: March 1 2017, 01:57:06
Having your characters laugh uproariously at something you, the author, thought was funny is the equivalent of a cheesy sitcom laugh-track.

It's fine to have a character laugh at something, but it has to be because they as a character would find it funny rather than because you yourself thought it was funny or because the reader might find it funny. It has to be true to what that character would likely be amused by.

I have no friggin' idea what Eragon might find amusing, because his character is too underdeveloped. Out of place Shakespeare references, however, seem rather unlikely.

[3]

the_bishop8
February 27 2017, 14:28:50
This was on reddit a little while ago:

Q: What are spirits?

Paolini: Let me answer the question without answering the question. :D Spirits are self-aware, self-sustaining matrices of pure energy. They are consciousness formed from and giving form to the otherwise free-flowing quickening that allows for work (of all sorts) to be accomplished. By reason of their nature, they are drawn to sources of power, around which they bask -- supplicants eagerly drinking of the emanations that give them life. Thus, to be torn from their haunts and bound to cold and careless matter is a torture beyond imagining for them. And then they are like to grow wrathful and wreak terrible vengeance. So leave summoning spirits to power-crazed sorcerers more arrogant than wise.


Let me answer the question without answering the question. :D

Might as well not answer the question at all, then. Something about this line really grates on my nerves, and I've decided it's the ":D" at the end. First the "evil grin" and now this...Paolini really should just not emote, ever.

Spirits are self-aware, self-sustaining matrices of pure energy.

Self-sustaining, huh? He went to such great pains to make his magic system follow the Law of Conservation of Energy, and he breaks it like this.

They are consciousness formed from and giving form to the otherwise free-flowing quickening that allows for work (of all sorts) to be accomplished.

This is just pseudobabble.

By reason of their nature, they are drawn to sources of power, around which they bask -- supplicants eagerly drinking of the emanations that give them life.

But you just said that they're self-sustaining. And if they are drawn to sources of power and "drink" from them, you'd think they would be draining the life from every living thing they come across and would steal energy stored in gems. That would be more interesting than what we got, anyway.

Thus, to be torn from their haunts and bound to cold and careless matter is a torture beyond imagining for them. And then they are like to grow wrathful and wreak terrible vengeance. So leave summoning spirits to power-crazed sorcerers more arrogant than wise.

Spirits being bound to matter by power-crazed sorcerers, an experience which is torturous for them and causes them to hate their captors...Careful Paolini, you really don't need anymore accusations of plagiarism.

[3A]

Anonymous
February 27 2017, 15:52:07
They must be self sustaining in the way animals are...In that they take measures to sustain themselves...

[3A1]

the_bishop8
February 27 2017, 16:22:53
There is a trope called Like Reality Unless Noted. What it means is that if an author creates a new animal and puts it in their book, I'm going to assume that the new animal needs to eat and sleep like all other animals unless the book specifically tells me that it doesn't.

The very fact that Paolini feels he needs to mention that spirits are self-sustaining implies that he doesn't mean in the way that animals are, because otherwise he's just stating the obvious.

[3A1A]

Anonymous
February 27 2017, 16:47:19
Yeah that's basically what I was saying. The ellipses were meant to be the the thing to tip it off.

[3B]

theepistler
February 27 2017, 18:49:39
...supplicants eagerly drinking of the emanations that give them life.

I know I keep saying this, but could he PLEASE just talk like a human being for once?? Purple Thesaurus abuse aside, this just sounds vaguely gross and creepy.

Spirits being bound to matter by power-crazed sorcerers, an experience which is torturous for them and causes them to hate their captors...Careful Paolini, you really don't need anymore accusations of plagiarism.

Oh yeah? What's this from?

[3B1]

the_bishop8
February 28 2017, 01:21:57
It's from the Bartimaeus Trilogy. That series is all about power-crazed sorcerers and the spirits they summon. I don't think Paolini actually stole anything from those books because of their publication dates, but that description he used about spirits and sorcerers could too easily be attributed to that series if reworded slightly.

I actually read that series partially because of Paolini. The Vice-Administrator of the old Inheritance Forums named themselves BartimaeusTrilogyFan, lol.

[3B1A]

theepistler
February 28 2017, 17:39:39
Hey, I remember BartimaeusTrilogyFan! Those were the days, hey?

[4]

theepistler
February 27 2017, 19:04:32
Of course they can’t use it because Galbatorix cast a spell that would kill anyone who tried, and they don’t know how that spell works so they can’t protect themselves from it.

This is of course nothing at all like the spell Voldemort used to draw his murderous supporters to anyone who said his name out loud. *cough* And Arya flat-out advises Eragon not to bother with protecting himself against people trying to use his own true name against him?? Does she want the idiot to die? Seriously, if you're up against an enemy that insanely powerful you should be considering every single possible avenue of attack and taking measures against it. "Don't bother" is the worst advice I ever heard in a situation like this one.

Well that was an utterly useless chapter. Arya makes a pointless Dr Who reference! Arya creates a grass ship which will not serve any real purpose! We meet some spirits who will not have any use in the story because they'll never appear again! Eragon makes an utterly out of place biblical reference and then laughs at his own lame joke! And all this while they're supposed to be on the run from the Empire which is SO dangerous and fast at communicating that they should be set to DEFCON 1 because a group of low-ranking soldiers were killed in the middle of nowhere ten minutes ago. If Eragon is paranoid enough to murder a lone soldier with no immediate means of transport or communication, he should be constantly checking the sky for Murtagh and Thorn and freaking out every time a twig snaps. But nope - this is just a cutscene between levels, so they're perfectly safe!

Bah.

[4A]

torylltales
February 27 2017, 22:39:12
Shakespeare reference, not biblical. And incorrect, on top of it.

[4A1]

theepistler
February 28 2017, 17:44:47
Man that is born of woman hath but a short time to live and is most full of misery. He cometh up, and is cut down, like a [lily]; he fleeth as it were a shadow, and never continueth in one stay. From where can we turn but to thee, O Lord, or for our sins art justly displeased?

[4A1A]

torylltales
February 28 2017, 19:19:25
How does that have anything to do with it, aside from a reference to a lily?

[4A1A1]

theepistler
February 28 2017, 19:22:16 Edited: March 1 2017, 12:20:27
Nothing; I just felt like quoting it. :p
The actual reference I was thinking of was the "consider the lily" sermon.

EDIT: One reason why I felt like quoting it is because it's a fine example of the sort of thing Paolini keeps trying to accomplish with all these boring
"philosophising" chapters - it evokes the futility of mortal life and the search for peace and meaning, and does it in just a few short sentences rather than needing several pages of rambling on. I'm not even religious but I still kinda like the idea of someone speaking this particular prayer over me; it's just so beautiful.

[5]

Anonymous
February 27 2017, 22:22:38
1. Spirits are conscious spheres of light that value their freedom.
2. Sorcerers can enslave spirits in human bodies.
3. When this happens, the spirits control the human
4. The spirits were grateful to Eragon for freeing some of them, by killing Durza.

Then why do shades fight so hard to avoid being killed? I remember the part where they created a new shade. The magicians lost control of the shade, so it was free to do what it wanted. Why did it not take its life instead of fighting Eragon?
-TTT

[5A]

kidwithrabbit
February 28 2017, 01:47:04
I was going to say because they resurrect, and that it's implied that resurrecting is painful as balls for them. But I'd think the shades themselves would know that a stab to the heart means permadeath for the body and freedom for the spirits.

So...I got nothing.

[5B]

minionnumber2
February 28 2017, 05:14:19
Because Paolini doesn't think about things. I'm like 90% sure shades were supposed to be evil spirits in the beginning, given how Paolini described Dura's
transformation.

The rage Carsaib had felt and the spirits he had summoned for vengeance. But the spirits were
stronger than he expected. They turned on him, possessing mind and body. He had screamed. He was — I AM DURZA!

This implies that the spirits either 1. can't stop themselves from being summoned to a location and can't just unbind themselves from a thing but can be strong enough to take over a human body or 2. they wanted to be summoned in the first place and took advantage of his weakness to get themselves a human body. I always assumed the later because it makes more sense with the fact that shades seem to go full edgy mcedgelord and are implied toalways go full psychopath.

[5B1]

Anonymous
February 28 2017, 21:45:55
So who do you reckon came up with the name Durza? Seems to be the spirits but if seems sort of strange thing for a collective to name themselves in such away. Why would they care what their new body is called? Especially if they were there unwillingly.

[5B1A]

Anonymous
February 28 2017, 23:13:24
First letters of the names of the individual spirits.

On a more serious note, perhaps the spirits confined in a human go crazy and 'lose their mind'. May be that is why they don't kill themselves and just go berserk.

-TTT

[5B1A1]

Anonymous
March 1 2017, 13:50:30
Now I want to cobble together some W.I.T.C.H reference but I'm 80% certain no one would get it.

[6]

syntinen_laulu
February 27 2017, 23:18:04
What gets me time and time again is how unaware these characters are of potential consequences. They do something because it’s cool, regardless of whether it’s necessary, and never consider what could happen. With characters like these, magic should be what technology is to us: something incredibly useful, but also the cause of much damage to the world through misuse.


Paolini stole a lot from Ursula Le Guin's Earthsea: but one of the most fundamental laws of that world, the need to respect and maintain the Equilibrium, was obviously either too difficult for him, or too dull.

[7]

theepistler
March 1 2017, 13:17:48
But Eragon found Sloan’s because he is Just That Special. And three people found Galbatorix’s because…something.

And Galbatorix found Murtagh and Thorn's True Names without any apparent effort at all, but both Eragon and Arya seem to have conveniently forgotten all about that. Which just makes the pair of them look even dumber and more careless given that Eragon is supposed to be under constant threat of being captured and dragged to Uru-Baen. (I really wish that had actually happened. It would have been SO much more interesting than this).

[8]

Anonymous
March 2 2017, 19:42:35
Also, the living flower that is also metal is another borrowed idea from Eddings, the metal rose that Durnik makes for Polgara and brings to eternal life as a gift for her.

[8A]

Anonymous
March 3 2017, 02:29:38
Reminds me of the gold and silver trees in Narnia
-TTT

[9]

kris_norge
March 4 2017, 10:39:36
So I just realized something! At the end, Eragon does that spell that makes Galbatorix see and understand the consequences of what he's done and the horror of it causes Galby to nuke himself. Except that they say here that Galbatorix put a spell around his true name that kills anyone who uses it. With magic trying to be as exact as computer science in this universe, wouldn't that mean Galbatorix knows his true name and therefore KNOWS AND UNDERSTANDS everything he is?????????

I think I just spotted a major inconsistency here.

[9A]

Anonymous
March 5 2017, 07:44:08
Hmm, that's quite an interesting thought indeed. Though perhaps the reason he went and obliterated himself was because having it in his face all at once at that one time was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak? Understanding what you are and everything you've done is one thing, but being able to deal with it all is another thing entirely.

So yeah, another inconsistency, but perhaps one that could have some explanation?

-immortal_drayk