Brisingr Spork Chapter 36: Insubordination (Part 1)

[pangolin20]

Jonathan Dean wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-11-09 19:49:00

LOCATION: A hidden lair
MOOD: happy

Brisingr Spork Chapter 36: Insubordination (Part 1)

Ah, "Insubordination", my least favourite chapter in Brisingr, a chapter which fails on strategic and tactical levels, as well as featuring new characters whose actions make no sense and a feat of arms so unbelievable that you wouldn't find anything close to it in any medieval saga, romance, song or chronicle. I've tended to ramble a lot on medieval warfare in this spork (part 1 is as long as Kris' entire analysis of the battle), so this is going to be a multi part spork. I'll try and get the next part out as soon as possible.

Let's dive into it!

( Read more... )

Brisingr Spork Chapter 36: Insubordination (Part 2)

[pangolin20]

Jonathan Dean wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-11-12 13:07:00

LOCATION: I'm still not giving up my lair's location
MOOD: happy

Brisingr Spork Chapter 36: Insubordination (Part 2)

This is Part 2 of my spork of the chapter "Insubordination". It focuses on the battle and the aftermath, and I've finished it up with a brief discussion of what the chapter should have been.

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Brisingr Spork Chaopter 37: Message In A Mirror

[pangolin20]

torylltales wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-12-17 19:16:00

Brisingr Spork Chaopter 37: Message In A Mirror ( Read more... )

Brisingr Spork Chapter 38: Four Strokes Upon the Drum

[pangolin20]

snarkbotanya wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-12-21 17:01:00

Brisingr Spork Chapter 38: Four Strokes Upon the Drum

Hello everyone! Bishop surrendered this chapter to Epistler, who then handed it off to me so that I can refresh my brain for Chapter 5 of Consequence (and perhaps get some spitefic fodder) by jumping aboard the Sporking Train. So here we are with “Four Strokes Upon the Drum”, a chapter title which doesn’t invoke a drumbeat so much as ring a bell.


[Caption: Gif from The Fellowship of the Ring with text 'We hear drums, in the deep. They are coming.']

Please, Paolini, stop trying to be Tolkien.
( The prentension continues... )

Next up is Epistler with “Reunion.”
( Read more... )

Brisingr Spork Chapter 39: Reunion

[pangolin20]

theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-12-24 21:52:00

MOOD: festive
MUSIC: The Pogues - Fairytale of New York

Brisingr Spork Chapter 39: Reunion

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Brisingr Spork Chapter 40: Ascension

[pangolin20]

snarkbotanya wrote in antishurtugal, 2017-01-08 21:52:00

Brisingr Spork Chapter 40: Ascension

Hi everyone! It seems doomotter had some other things to do, so this chapter has fallen into my grabby little hands. And oh, boy, am I gonna have a fun time with this one.

First off, I’d like to frown at the chapter title a little. At first, I was going to give it credit for being concise and pertinent to what happens in the chapter, but the more I looked at it, the more I got a distinctly pretentious vibe. “Ascension” is clearly referring to Orik’s ascent to the throne, but the word itself is… somewhat loaded, shall we say. To call this coronation an “ascension” implies some kind of metaphysical transcendence, as if Orik is becoming a god rather than a king. Considering Paolini’s consistent misuse of long vocabulary words throughout the entire series, as well as the absolute fuckery to come in this chapter, I’m not going to be giving any leeway.

All things considered, “Ascent” probably would have been more appropriate.

( Last dwarven politics chapter, I promise! )

Next chapter is “Words of Wisdom,” which I guarantee will involve far too many words and far too little wisdom. It will be sporked by the_bishop8 .

( Read more... )

Brisingr Sporking Chapter 41: Words of Wisdom

[pangolin20]

torylltales wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-02-02 16:46:00

Brisingr Spork Chapter 41: Words of Wisdom

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Brisingr Spork Chapter 42: The Whipping Post

[pangolin20]

snarkbotanya wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-05-01 05:00:00


Brisingr Spork Chapter 42: The Whipping Post

*claws her way out of the ground* I LIIIIIIIVE!

Yes, I’m aware of how late I am with this… Real Life has kind of been kicking my butt for the past month or so. Among other things, I got a job, and am still adjusting to both the time sink and the physical demands of retail. I only hope this sporking ends up being worth the wait.

( FEED ME RORAN'S TEARS! )

Good gods. This chapter was so full of failure it just defies all logic. Roran’s a Stu, Nasuada’s an idiot, Paolini doesn’t do any research, and the whole thing is so terribly edited that if you told me that Brisingr was a first draft, I’d probably believe you.

( Read more... )

Brisingr Spork Chapter 43: Among The Clouds

[pangolin20]

torylltales wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-05-14 13:24:00

Brisingr Spork Chapter 43: Among The Clouds

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Brisingr Spork: Chapter 44 - Butting Heads

[pangolin20]

theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-07-02 18:16:00

LOCATION: United States, California, San Francisco
MOOD: cold

Brisingr Spork: Chapter 44 - Butting Heads

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Brisingr Spork: Chapter 45 - Genealogy

[pangolin20]

torylltales wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-07-15 15:50:00

Brisingr Spork, Chapter 45 - Genealogy

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Brisingr Spork: Chapter 46 - Two Lovers Doomed

[pangolin20]

theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-07-22 20:08:00

LOCATION: United States, Virginia, Manassas
MOOD: exhausted

Brisingr Spork: Chapter 46 - Two Lovers Doomed

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Brisingr Spork Chapter 47: Inheritance

[pangolin20]

snarkbotanya wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-07-31 04:46:00

Brisingr Spork Chapter 47: Inheritance

Hello, everyone, Anya here, and—HOLY SHIT DUCK AND COVER!


[Caption: Gif of an anvil falling into a room and two people just ducking away.]

*dusts off* Goddamn, that was a close one.
( To the holodeck! I mean dragon! )

Until next time!
( Read more... )

Brisinger Spork Chapter 48: Souls of Stone

[pangolin20]

thegharialguy wrote in Antishurtugal, 2018-08-02 12:02:00

Brisinger Spork Chapter 48: Souls of Stone

Anyone ever see Dragonheart? An old 90s film with some surprisingly decent CGI. I bring it up because I’m pretty sure Paolini stole the entire concept of Eldunari from this film. When I first read the book I assumed both Paolini and Dragonheart were taking their material from a shared origin, but given what I now know of Paolini’s track record, I find this pretty doubtful. And even if Dragonheart does take its premise for some genuine lore, the movie came out in 1996, right when Paolini was at the age of the target audience. I’m not sure how well known this connection is, I’ve never seen it mentioned on this site in my time here, but it’s so blatant that I can’t help but think someone’s connected the dots before.
( Read more... )

Next chapter is Hands of a Warrior. I don’t know who’s sporking it because I don’t have the list, but I hope we can see it in less than a month. We’ve been at this a while now and I think we’re finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.
( Read more... )

Brisingr Spork Part 49: Hands of a Warrior

[pangolin20]

theepistler wrote in antishurtugal, 2018-08-03 11:25:00

LOCATION: United States, Seattle
MOOD: awake

Brisingr Spork: Chapter 49 - The Hands of a Warrior( Read more... )